Author Simgleandyoung23 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 Really... ever heard of common law marriage? https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/fact-or-fiction-five-myths-about-common-law-marriage Back in the days when settlers could not easily travel to a state capital to get a license people in your situation were considered married if they cohabited and lived as husband and wife. A house and kids is basically that. Oh and openness of a rlship is no barrier to being married. People do have open marriages. I think any word like marriage would freak her out. Maybe she doesn't see our connection as I do. I dunno. I think much of the time we are one in the same just see things differently. I am ok with things the way they are but if we buy a house together there are going to have to be legal precautions beforehand. She's ok with that. Link to post Share on other sites
aussietigerwolf Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 One thought... Could she be scared? When a person has built an identity around something I.e. being gay, it can be rather scary to realise that you're not that person. She may prefer to hide from her feelings rather then confront them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 She's just getting you to help pay her rent. You shouldn't do this. It will be a nightmare. She will just keep dating, and she should. Live near each other, but not together, and take care of your kid and set all the other crap aside. Link to post Share on other sites
lemoncello Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 It sounds like you two are already in a relationship because you share a child together. You are both co-parents to the same child. If you want to have separate sex lives, ok fine but consider how the multiple sex partners and the open relationships will impact your child's development. Do you really want to expose your child to all that randomness? Children deserve to be raised in stable home environments. If you two love each other and already live together with your child who you co-parent, then if you do buy a house together, you are co-owners and share the legal and financial responsibilities as co-owners of a home. Your first priority should be the welfare of your child. If buying a house together isn't something you both can commit to, then make your focus the co-parenting of your child together. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Considering the circumstances - I wouldn't buy anything together with her. Buy a house on your own...if you wish to own property. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lemoncello Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Considering the circumstances - I wouldn't buy anything together with her. Buy a house on your own...if you wish to own property. ^^I agree with beach's advice. Buy your own house and then find a roommate via friends or Craigslist, and decide then if you want full-time custody of your child. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 She may want more from your situation for her. I think she wants stability for both your and your daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Also our daughter was not planned. We didn't plan that at all. If you don't prevent it, then you planned it, because pregnancy without birth control is inevitable. Take responsibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Simgleandyoung23 Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 If you don't prevent it, then you planned it, because pregnancy without birth control is inevitable. Take responsibility. we did use protection and most of our sexual relationship was not possible to get pregnant. Either way I've sort of moved on. I have an odd question. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Not everyone will get to meet a partner who they are infatuated with at any time. Most of us won't get the amazing chemistry and romantic feelings for a partner. The OP is facing a very common delima. He cannot find a woman with whom he feels mutual sparks and romantic fireworks with so he's settling into a very comfortable arrangement with a woman he respects and admires. Without the sexual tension or strong emotions that true love usually entails. Many of us will have to make this choice to some degree ; settle for passion or comfort or mediocrity in one and lots of the other. Seems like these couple are really compatible enough to live together and be harmonious. I personally would rather miss out on parenthood or adopt than have to settle. Even if it means less disposable income. What if you are one of the tiiiiiny % of adults who do meet the absolute love of your life and the sparks are flying??????? How will your roomate / relationship partner feel?? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I have an odd question. What is the question? Link to post Share on other sites
oberkeat Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) It sounds like you two are already in a relationship because you share a child together. You are both co-parents to the same child. If you want to have separate sex lives, ok fine but consider how the multiple sex partners and the open relationships will impact your child's development. Do you really want to expose your child to all that randomness? Children deserve to be raised in stable home environments. If you two love each other and already live together with your child who you co-parent, then if you do buy a house together, you are co-owners and share the legal and financial responsibilities as co-owners of a home. Your first priority should be the welfare of your child. If buying a house together isn't something you both can commit to, then make your focus the co-parenting of your child together. I have to agree. This is a bad situation for the child. Before, you were two single adults doing whatever. But seems to me bringing a child into the mix changes things. That requires a higher level of responsibility and commitment than either of you has demonstrated thus far. This needs to be fixed before you purchase a house together. Edited June 25, 2015 by oberkeat spelling Link to post Share on other sites
Author Simgleandyoung23 Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 I have to agree. This is a bad situation for the child. Before, you were two single adults doing whatever. But seems to me bringing a child into the mix changes things. That requires a higher level of responsibility and commitment than either of you has demonstrated thus far. This needs to be fixed before you purchase a house together. we decided to put the thought off a year. Our relationship right now is pretty open. Seriously it's just mainly been a job lol. Link to post Share on other sites
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