h0000 Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I am seeing this guy, for around three months. While everything else is good, this one trait of him annoys me. So far it happened twice, where he would make plans with me but fail to follow through, without so much of a notice.. First time we agree to meet up after work and although he kept saying he'd arrive soon, I waited 2 hours, eventually told him I'm leaving. Second time was last night. He invited me over 7pm and I agreed however when at 7 I messaged him to confirm, I heard nothing back...Eventually,again,I didn't get to see him at all. I cannot figure out what is going on in his head...It's getting frustrated..Not sure how to proceed?? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Don't put yourself on hold for anyone. Your time is valuable. Don't waste it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Vercetti Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Yea...errr....Mayb.....nope......sure........Perhaps...........I'll get back to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 They are, when they are invested in someone or seeing something work out. Then their flakiness disappears. Unfortunately in this case, that won't be with you. Just let him go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Peachland Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Did the 1st time he flaked out happen recently? If yes, he may be starting to lose interest. It's rude to not follow through or at least cancel. No one wants to be left hanging. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 A sane person with feelings for you does not break dates. Period. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author h0000 Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 Did the 1st time he flaked out happen recently? If yes, he may be starting to lose interest. It's rude to not follow through or at least cancel. No one wants to be left hanging. Not too recent..that was maybe 2 months ago.. I think everybody knows its rude..hence I don't know why he would do it. It's not too hard just simply say "hey sorry something else has come up" Link to post Share on other sites
Author h0000 Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 (edited) A sane person with feelings for you does not break dates. Period. That's how I feel. But I also get the feeling he is like this to everybody..I do want to address the issue before I completely stop seeing him though... If we made a plan one day beforehand and he changed his mind, fair enough. But we only made plans one hour beforehand..It's beyond weird.. Edited April 26, 2015 by h0000 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 That's how I feel. But I also get the feeling he is like this to everybody..I do want to address the issue before I completely stop seeing him though... If we made a plan one day beforehand and he changed his mind, fair enough. But we only made plans one hour beforehand..It's beyond weird.. h0000, he did more than just break those two dates. He completely blew you off. Didn't call, didn't text, nothing, he left you completely hanging, first time for two hours, then last night, Saturday night, just didn't show, again no call or text. That is beyond rude, it is a clear message he just doesn't give a crap. Why would you even consider staying with s guy like that? Not sure what you hope to accomplish by "talking" to him. You can't force a guy to start giving a crap. If it were me, I would just walk and tell him why. He is unreliable and I need to be with a man I can count on! Who, when he says he's gonna do something (like show up for a date), he actually shows up! And yeah I would tell him exactly that! Then walk. You teach people how to treat you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author h0000 Posted April 27, 2015 Author Share Posted April 27, 2015 h0000, he did more than just break those two dates. He completely blew you off. Didn't call, didn't text, nothing, he left you completely hanging, first time for two hours, then last night, Saturday night, just didn't show, again no call or text. That is beyond rude, it is a clear message he just doesn't give a crap. Why would you even consider staying with s guy like that? Not sure what you hope to accomplish by "talking" to him. You can't force a guy to start giving a crap. By talking I guess I mean telling him this is not ok and if he's willing to change I can give him another chance? Because all my relationships lately have been very short-lived. No one lasted more than a few months. I started to think should I give people a bit more chances. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 By talking I guess I mean telling him this is not ok and if he's willing to change I can give him another chance? Because all my relationships lately have been very short-lived. No one lasted more than a few months. I started to think should I give people a bit more chances. You give people a chance when they are trustworthy, reliable and give a shyt. People who completely blow you off, not once but TWICE, who are unreliable, don't live up to their word, no you don't give people like this a chance. People like this are thoughtless and self-centered at best, and/or don't give a shyt at worst. Sorry! Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 I think if you truly care for someone you let them know if you cant make it..and if you are truly interested you make that effort to confirm or reschedule.....i do believe in giving chances but there are limits when you say ok moving on now i wish you well ...i think twice is enough..deb Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Chica, his message couldn't be any clearer. What exactly are you going to accomplish by lecturing him? His behavior tells you that he doesn't give a crap whether you stay or walk. Something better came up Saturday night, and he couldn't even be bothered to text and cancel on you. He just ignored you and your messages and left you hanging on...or not. He doesn't care either way. Reprimands from someone that one has zero respect for that one ought to behave better or be more considerate are completely meaningless. You would be wasting your time and probably just giving him a funny anecdote to joke about with his friends. Don't waste your breath...or your energy. He's not reciprocating your interest or emotional investment. Just let it go and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Partner? Probably not. Occasional fun time when it works out? Maybe. IMO, demote him to 'whatever' status and move on to the next one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author h0000 Posted April 27, 2015 Author Share Posted April 27, 2015 Reprimands from someone that one has zero respect for that one ought to behave better or be more considerate are completely meaningless. You would be wasting your time and probably just giving him a funny anecdote to joke about with his friends. Makes sense..I definitely don't want to be a joke to his friends. This time I actually dated "down" and think maybe he (non-alpha males) will give a crap. Looks like I am wrong --this part really doesn't make sense in my head haha Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 By talking I guess I mean telling him this is not ok and if he's willing to change I can give him another chance? Because all my relationships lately have been very short-lived. No one lasted more than a few months. I started to think should I give people a bit more chances. In this case, you would be telling him that you're happy to be his spineless doormat and will hang around regardless of how inconsiderately he treats you as long as he mollifies you with soothing words about how he'll change. When a guy invites you over to his (no effort on his part to travel and meet you), and then can't even be bothered to tell you he's changed his mind, your self-respect should kick in. If this had indeed been a pattern, the issue isn't not being enough of a doormat, the real concern should be your guy picker. Pick guys differently if they're consistently turning into duds a couple of months in and you're dealing with this type of behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 "dated down" Maybe he picks up on this attitude and decided to turn the tables on you. Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Makes sense..I definitely don't want to be a joke to his friends. This time I actually dated "down" and think maybe he (non-alpha males) will give a crap. Looks like I am wrong --this part really doesn't make sense in my head haha Unfortunately, all kinds of guys can be jerks. It has nothing to do with looks, social status, or anything else. Sorry things didn't work out. Just keep trying until you meet someone who is eager to make you a priority. Link to post Share on other sites
Author h0000 Posted April 27, 2015 Author Share Posted April 27, 2015 "dated down" Maybe he picks up on this attitude and decided to turn the tables on you. No I don't have any attitude..I actually just think "he is interesting and although he doesn't have a good job it is fine." Link to post Share on other sites
Author h0000 Posted April 27, 2015 Author Share Posted April 27, 2015 Unfortunately, all kinds of guys can be jerks. It has nothing to do with looks, social status, or anything else. . It's like, what do they think they are to be this selfish? lol Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 It's like, what do they think they are to be this selfish? lol Ha, the id has mugged the superego and has it gagged and tied up in the corner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author h0000 Posted April 27, 2015 Author Share Posted April 27, 2015 He texted me 24 hours later saying he fell asleep last night..and I should have called him so he would wake up.. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Cynical old fart opinion - mind-fµck Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 he isn't flaky.. he is utterly rude.. My opinion.. there is either a GF, someone else he is dating, Wife or Ex in the picture that you cannot see. Dump the chump Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 He texted me 24 hours later saying he fell asleep last night..and I should have called him so he would wake up.. Thoughts? He cares so little about you that he can't even stay awake. Next. Link to post Share on other sites
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