Busted! Lied about age.

[GemmaUK]

Also, I don't care if she doesn't introduce me to her friends.

 

 

That's a good thing then and obviously you already thought that through when sending the mail.

 

 

I doubt she took her profile down due to your comment though.

Sounds like you have assumed it's due to you.

 

 

What was her reply to you?

Did she just not bother to reply?

 

 

As Elaine said - if you are female and say 40 then you get mails from guys much older and often.

At 41 I got a lot of mails from 60 and 70 yo's - not my thing.

Some of them claimed to be 40 and shaved decades off their stated age.

 

 

I didn't create a thread about them ever though..

 

 

Why did this one lady bother you so much?

Did you ask her out in the past and she declined?

[LookAtThisPOst]

Gemma, she said she just put up the profile and was just experimenting with the age thing. She said lowering her age actually WORKED for her. She's real cute though for a 47 year old. To see her in action she's kind of like a fun, big kid. :-)

 

We got into kind of a deeper discussion about dating general as I was kidn of surprised as athletic she is, how I always see Facebook pictures out on her trail bikes with her friends both male and female (very talented with her bike acrobatics and jetski).

 

I figured she'd be running into athletic men that she's currently hanging with, be it Meetups or non-Meetup Biking, Jetskiing or just summer time events. She does surround herself around a big mix of people. Kind of high energy for some guys, but she's an all around fun person to be around.

 

She told me she hasn't liked someone in a very long time though, so maybe that has something to do with it. Never saw any "wow" factor or any kind of crush whatsoever with men for years.

 

That's a good thing then and obviously you already thought that through when sending the mail.

 

 

I doubt she took her profile down due to your comment though.

Sounds like you have assumed it's due to you.

 

 

What was her reply to you?

Did she just not bother to reply?

 

 

As Elaine said - if you are female and say 40 then you get mails from guys much older and often.

At 41 I got a lot of mails from 60 and 70 yo's - not my thing.

Some of them claimed to be 40 and shaved decades off their stated age.

 

 

I didn't create a thread about them ever though..

 

 

Why did this one lady bother you so much?

Did you ask her out in the past and she declined?

[LookAtThisPOst]

Did you ask her out in the past and she declined?

 

Yes...years ago. This was on a diff. site and this is when she never knew who I was and she did respond and we were talking back and forth, so I figured asking her out was the next step....and she declined.

 

I had said, "So why didn't you say so in the first place? Why are we still even talking? lol"

 

She said, "I just like to talk, being polite."

 

I guess after so many unanswered emails, I figured her actually engaging me in a conversation on a dating site when we had first met meant it would mean a meet n greet.

[lino]

I haven't ever experienced women lying about their age but I have experienced them lying about other (and worse things than age IMO) things.

[salparadise]

At 45 she will be getting 55+ year olds deciding to have a go, but by putting her age at 37 she may in fact get some guys her own age contacting her, ie 45. Some women do not want to be with guys 10+ years older, altering her age may get her into a better age group of men, ie those of her own age.

 

So does this mean it would be ok for me to knock 5-10 years off of my age to get into a better group of women? It seems that some of you ladies think it's somehow more acceptable for women to lie to get what they want, to create a false impression, and then just laugh it off as a woman's prerogative at some future date when she is found out... while you expect men to toe the line on integrity. I'm calling major BS on this one.

 

I drove a couple of hours to meet a woman who lied about her age on her profile. She had initiated and pursued it for a month. I had a suspicion that something was a little bit off but she was a good actress despite being somewhat evasive. It only took a few minutes to confirm the facts once I got home. So what do you think the effect of her deception was... oh, she seems like such a sweetheart so I don't care that she's pretending to be someone she's not? No, my thoughts were that this woman has issues, probably serious issues. I'm not the least bit interested in engaging with someone whose integrity is immediately suspect... or should we say immediately revealed to be nonexistent.

 

If you're meeting people in hopes of finding a relationship it's just a matter of time before you're found out by anyone you decide to continue dating. Lying about key aspects of who you are only works in the very short term, and only for those who are much more adept at justifying their delusions than those who understand that everything has consequences. And furthermore, that real integrity is not doing the right thing merely to avoid consequences, but because it's your true nature.

[LookAtThisPOst]

So does this mean it would be ok for me to knock 5-10 years off of my age to get into a better group of women? It seems that some of you ladies think it's somehow more acceptable for women to lie to get what they want, to create a false impression, and then just laugh it off as a woman's prerogative at some future date when she is found out... while you expect men to toe the line on integrity. I'm calling major BS on this one.

 

I drove a couple of hours to meet a woman who lied about her age on her profile. She had initiated and pursued it for a month. I had a suspicion that something was a little bit off but she was a good actress despite being somewhat evasive. It only took a few minutes to confirm the facts once I got home. So what do you think the effect of her deception was... oh, she seems like such a sweetheart so I don't care that she's pretending to be someone she's not? No, my thoughts were that this woman has issues, probably serious issues. I'm not the least bit interested in engaging with someone whose integrity is immediately suspect... or should we say immediately revealed to be nonexistent.

 

If you're meeting people in hopes of finding a relationship it's just a matter of time before you're found out by anyone you decide to continue dating. Lying about key aspects of who you are only works in the very short term, and only for those who are much more adept at justifying their delusions than those who understand that everything has consequences. And furthermore, that real integrity is not doing the right thing merely to avoid consequences, but because it's your true nature.

 

Good points Salparadise...

 

Seems to be a double standard here I'm noticing about a woman's age. One woman I met on OK Cupid did this. She put herself as 43 when I was 41 at the time. VERY attractive woman for her age. Though, from her photos, I thought she was older.

 

Got her on the phone and she told me, on the phone, that she wasn't the age she portrayed herself as.

 

I was thinking, "Okay, that's fine, I'm sure I'll find out throughout the course of dating her."

 

Come to date # 2, I had asked to come out with it about her age, and she threw the "A woman never reveals her age" card at me.

 

And I said, "You speak for all women?"

 

We got into a tiff back and forth about it, and she never talked to me again. I mean, if you're not forthcoming of your age within 2 dates, chances are that person is insecure about that sort of thing and has issues.

 

I have a good friend that was MARRIED to a woman and only found out her age after having seen her drivers licence ...and she gets ticked at him for "invading her privacy" lol

[elaine567]

So does this mean it would be ok for me to knock 5-10 years off of my age to get into a better group of women?

 

No, and you are correct, I was merely suggesting her reasons, not condoning them.

However at 45 and male you would be in a better place than most women of that age group dating wise.

Some will be consigned to the granny/mumsy group and if she is not a granny or a mumsy type but a vibrant women, she needs some tricks to get her noticed by the target group of men she wants to attract.

SO whilst not condoning her debatable maybe, "white lies", I can understand her rationale.