Red Pill vs.Blue Pill Dating

[toolforgrowth]

This is true.

Allow me say that I even left his 401K and retirement benefits alone. I rolled my 401 into his because I stopped working for two years with a newborn and 2 yr. old to be a SAHM. I had a nice amount.

I came back to say this because even though I have no regrets, in hindsight, Uuummm......laughing at myself. Fme, Bye!

It's all good.

 

Lol! I really like your outlook.

 

I do the same thing...I joke with myself by asking what in the world I ever saw in my xWW, and sometimes ask myself if I was drunk the entire time. Although I did turn to marijuana as a means to numb myself from the misery.

 

Not a healthy choice, that.

 

I was a good husband, but I was by no means perfect...nobody is. I owned the things I could have done better. But I accept no blame for her affair, the responsibility for that lies with her alone.

 

But I do scratch my head at why I married her. I guess was young, wide eyed, and optimistic.

[SearchingForMyself]

Great synopsis.

 

I'm not speaking for the women who post on LS (at least, not all of them), but the message men have been getting from women is "accept whatever we choose to give you and be grateful for it".

 

Well, what if I'm not satisfied with that? What if my experience has demonstrated that I contribute far more towards relationships than the women have? Money, time, assets, priorities, all of that.

 

Why should I invest all of those resources when the return on said investment is little to none?

 

The concept that men have options too is quite new. I also think that a lot of blue pillers haven't accepted that yet; they're stuck in the old paradigm that it's up to them to be what society (women) wants them to be, rather than simply being who they are even if it goes against the societal norm.

 

Red pillers are better at establishing and maintaining boundaries. Blue pillers are too eager to compromise. I don't view compromise as a bad thing by any means, but when you're the only one "compromising", then it stops being a compromise and turns into a submission instead.

 

And nobody likes a doormat.

 

Bingo.

 

To me, red pill philosophy is the male version of feminism, which is ironic, considering it was made to combat the eschewed views of feminism. It encourages men to...

 

1. Choose their passions and go their own way.

2. Make women earn their time and devotion on personal virtues rather than just because they are women.

3. Recognizing the unfair advantage that women have in marriage and divorce courts and choosing to opt out a system that generally doesn't benefit us instead of the societal pressure to marry and provide.

4. Improving yourself for you.

5. Refusing to put women on a pedestal and realizing there's nothing wrong with that.

6. Kill a man's scarcity mentality.

7. Increase your attractive qualities.

 

Red Pill extremists are focused on getting laid and view women as hypersexual beings who can't think straight and follow " tingles" instead of logic. This is usually from bitter guys who can't get laid, so its not to be taken too seriously. But to deny the power a woman's emotions plays in her decision making is also foolish. But classing them in one big category is blind. Not all women are like that.

 

But there is a noticeable number who are. And that's enough to respond to. Men are just tired of feeling disposable by women and the system. You women on LS, with a few exceptions, seem to be different from the general male experience.

 

 

Red Pill, just like any medicine, is made to cure you of ignorance and weakness. The problem comes if one takes too much of it. Moderation, folks.

[toolforgrowth]

Bingo.

 

To me, red pill philosophy is the male version of feminism, which is ironic, considering it was made to combat the eschewed views of feminism. It encourages men to...

 

1. Choose their passions and go their own way.

2. Make women earn their time and devotion on personal virtues rather than just because they are women.

3. Recognizing the unfair advantage that women have in marriage and divorce courts and choosing to opt out a system that generally doesn't benefit us instead of the societal pressure to marry and provide.

4. Improving yourself for you.

5. Refusing to put women on a pedestal and realizing there's nothing wrong with that.

6. Kill a man's scarcity mentality.

7. Increase your attractive qualities.

 

Red Pill extremists are focused on getting laid and view women as hypersexual beings who can't think straight and follow " tingles" instead of logic. This is usually from bitter guys who can't get laid, so its not to be taken too seriously. But to deny the power a woman's emotions plays in her decision making is also foolish. But classing them in one big category is blind. Not all women are like that.

 

But there is a noticeable number who are. And that's enough to respond to. Men are just tired of feeling disposable by women and the system. You women on LS, with a few exceptions, seem to be different from the general male experience.

 

 

Red Pill, just like any medicine, is made to cure you of ignorance and weakness. The problem comes if one takes too much of it. Moderation, folks.

 

:::standing ovation:::

 

There is not a single aspect of this post I didn't agree with.

[SearchingForMyself]

For instance, in my very first long term relationship, I was very compromising towards my gf. My mom taught me to be agreeable towards women, be a gentlemen, learn to treat women right. I did that in my relationship, but something bugged me

 

I was going through a period where I was losing my attraction for her due to a combination of weight gain and her depression. I pulled away and worked on a project with two attractive younger women. She'd caught wind of this and tried every tactic imaginable to get my attention, although it was just an art project!

 

Then after a while, I did some self reflection and became more loving and in my mind, compromising. But then she pulled away and cheated on me with the very guy she claimed to dislike.

 

After she left me for said guy, I pulled away and started seeing someone else. She found out, drove to my house unannounced, and hooked up with me. The minute she was done, she asked "Am I better than her?". That is all she said. No apologies, no remorse, nothing. All that mattered was that she could pull me away from any girl.

 

It was eye opening. My ex was a prime example of the women red pill warns men against. Sad part is, we notice lots of that daily.

 

It wasn't until I became unavailable to my ex and I had options did she show intense interest. The moment I came back to her she ran off. I had unintentionally raised her interest level by not catering to her whims and showing that other women wanted me

 

Red Pill thoroughly points this out: men with options are far more desirable. We may hear women deny those claims, but in many cases, actions speak louder than words

 

This is gonna sting a bit, but for the most part, men have actually been treated better if we cheated on our gfs than when we were fiercely loyal. As messed up as that sounds, if you see these women all over LS falling head over heels for married men, you start putting two and two together.

 

And the math doesn't add up well.

Edited April 23, 2015 by SearchingForMyself

[SearchingForMyself]

Lol! I really like your outlook.

 

I do the same thing...I joke with myself by asking what in the world I ever saw in my xWW, and sometimes ask myself if I was drunk the entire time. Although I did turn to marijuana as a means to numb myself from the misery.

 

Not a healthy choice, that.

 

I was a good husband, but I was by no means perfect...nobody is. I owned the things I could have done better. But I accept no blame for her affair, the responsibility for that lies with her alone.

 

But I do scratch my head at why I married her. I guess was young, wide eyed, and optimistic.

 

I almost married my ex fiancee before I found about her affair. She was 4 ft 11, absolutely adorable, smart and witty, and seemed deeper than she actually was. I'm 24 now.

 

The other day a friend of mine ran into my ex. She seemed proud that she cheated on me cause she mentioned it blatantly to my friend that she was bored of me and upgraded.

 

Its not our fault affairs happened. We didn't ask to be deceived. But man did she blame me for everything.

 

I miss being optimistic and naive.

Edited April 23, 2015 by SearchingForMyself

[toolforgrowth]

I almost married my ex fiancee before I found about her affair. She was 4 ft 11, absolutely adorable, smart and witty, and seemed deeper than she actually was. I'm 24 now.

 

The other day a friend of mine ran into my ex. She seemed proud that she cheated on me cause she mentioned it blatantly to my friend that she was bored of me and upgraded.

 

Its not our fault affairs happened. We didn't ask to be deceived. But man did she blame me for everything.

 

I miss being optimistic and naive.

 

And women wonder why we view them with skepticism and distrust. Obviously not all women are like that, but if a dog bites you for no reason, you're probably going to be wary of them all until they've proven they can be trustworthy.

 

What gets me is that women who put us down for being MGTOW do and say absolutely nothing about the behavior of the women in their ranks that pushed us in that direction in the first place. We're damned if we do and damned if we don't.

 

I'd rather be damned for "don't" than damned for "do".

[Camaro Guy]

Red Pill to me, has always been an overexaggeration of things that have some weight. I do think there are some gems in there but again, the vocal minority drown out what is good about it.

[SearchingForMyself]

Red Pill to me, has always been an overexaggeration of things that have some weight. I do think there are some gems in there but again, the vocal minority drown out what is good about it.

 

So does feminism in modern society. Difference is there aren't laws that support mgtows or red pillers. I've never seen a woman get punished for false rape charges, have their assets and earnings ripped from them, or for the most part, were kept from seeing their kids.

 

Feminism is built into the law, and that is why many are slowly opting out of marriage.

 

I got a feeling someone is going to ask for surveys and facts from accredited research sites as if that prevents my anecdotes from being valid. They may be generalizations but said generalizations seem to have quite the agreeable base when it comes to men.

Edited April 23, 2015 by SearchingForMyself

[toolforgrowth]

So does feminism in modern society. Difference is there aren't laws that support mgtows or red pillers. I've never seen a woman get punished for false rape charges, have their assets and earnings ripped from them, or for the most part, were kept from seeing their kids.

 

Feminism is built into the law, and that is why many are slowly opting out of marriage.

 

I got a feeling someone is going to ask for surveys and facts from accredited research sites as if that prevents my anecdotes from being valid. They may be generalizations but said generalizations seem to have quite the agreeable base when it comes to men.

 

Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that marriage is not mandatory by law.

 

What's ironic is that feminism itself has priced marriage out of the market for men. It's simply too expensive a product that does virtually nothing. For all their efforts to change the law to benefit them at the expense of men, all they've done is turn men away from marriage all together. At least, a good portion of them.

 

I see threads here on LS and on another forum I go to with women complaining that their man won't get married to them. And it's sad, but I can't help but think Gee, I wonder why.

[BlueIris]

OP, You have every right in the world to eat red pills or even to believe that there are bad guys out there and that the way you think and live is because of them. So don’t get married and have a family. It’s really ok.

 

Just beware of gurus. A fair number of gurus/ preachers/ sages make the big bucks and pump up their egos off their adherents, not off of those they vilify or sow seeds of fear about. Be careful, especially if you feel like a victim, to not allow yourself to be a victim again. Gurus thrive on people who feel like victims and fear boogeymen. (sp?)

[toolforgrowth]

OP, You have every right in the world to eat red pills or even to believe that there are bad guys out there and that the way you think and live is because of them. So don’t get married and have a family. It’s really ok.

 

Just beware of gurus. A fair number of gurus/ preachers/ sages make the big bucks and pump up their egos off their adherents, not off of those they vilify or sow seeds of fear about. Be careful, especially if you feel like a victim, to not allow yourself to be a victim again. Gurus thrive on people who feel like victims and fear boogeymen. (sp?)

 

How is that any different from feminism? Feminists believe that pretty much every man is capable of rape, domestic violence, and leaving their children out to dry. They teach young women to fear and distrust men, and that they are the perpetual victims of the Patriarchy.

 

And you can bet that Hillary Clinton will get the majority of the female vote because of her infamous "women are the true victims of war" statement. (Side note: because of that ridiculous statement, she's not getting my vote in spite of the fact I'm a card carrying Democrat.) She's totally going to cash in by playing the "women are victims" card.

[BlueIris]

How is that any different from feminism? Feminists believe that pretty much every man is capable of rape, domestic violence, and leaving their children out to dry. They teach young women to fear and distrust men, and that they are the perpetual victims of the Patriarchy.

 

And you can bet that Hillary Clinton will get the majority of the female vote because of her infamous "women are the true victims of war" statement. (Side note: because of that ridiculous statement, she's not getting my vote in spite of the fact I'm a card carrying Democrat.) She's totally going to cash in by playing the "women are victims" card.

 

I disagree with you about feminists and feminism, and women and men for that matter. Not much point in debating it since we just see the world and people so very differently. People can choose whatever they wish. Gurus sometimes feed off their followers.

[toolforgrowth]

I disagree with you about feminists and feminism, and women and men for that matter. Not much point in debating it since we just see the world and people so very differently. People can choose whatever they wish. Gurus sometimes feed off their followers.

 

Fair enough. But I'm interpreting this as, "It's okay when it's my group, but not okay when it's someone else's group."

 

Just an fyi, I had a post modded here once that listed a couple dozen extremely misandric feminist quotes ranging from Hillary to Gloria Steinem. They were THAT egregious.

[BlueIris]

Fair enough. But I'm interpreting this as, "It's okay when it's my group, but not okay when it's someone else's group."

 

Just an fyi, I had a post modded here once that listed a couple dozen extremely misandric feminist quotes ranging from Hillary to Gloria Steinem. They were THAT egregious.

 

Your interpretation of what I said is far more a function of your perspective more than of my words. You seem bent on battle. I'm not an advocate, much less a warrior, for a group- or a victim of a group. I advocate seeing people as individuals because it's worked best for me and has been more fun and interesting. People like being treated that way too.

 

Edited to add: Wait. Not true. I am a blinded tribal blood-follower of a hockey team and am a flaming jerk about it. My BF now knows that I consider anyone playing my team (with one exception, because it’s my daughter’s team) to be evil. Everyone else is evil. In hockey. ☺

Edited April 23, 2015 by BlueIris

[SearchingForMyself]

Your interpretation of what I said is far more a function of your perspective more than of my words. You seem bent on battle. I'm not an advocate, much less a warrior, for a group- or a victim of a group. I advocate seeing people as individuals because it's worked best for me and has been more fun and interesting. People like being treated that way too.

 

But I put it on general relationship discussion to discuss.

 

It doesn't matter what you believe in, there are extremists on all sides. But the extremity of feminism is now a part of society and law...and men don't have a safety net to fall back on.

 

So why shouldn't we be concerned? I know about Neil Strauss. He's a bit of a fraud. But honestly with social media making dating practically a catalog...and marriage expendable, its no wonder men are concernee.

 

I welcome all opinions.

[Rejected Rosebud]

On the flip side, this is exactly how I feel about philosophy and feminism.

You feel that Reddit is more valid? :confused: Well I guess you aren't alone, there are a lot more of you reading Reddit and A Voice for Men than Derrida or Virginia Woolf that's pretty obvious!

[Rejected Rosebud]

What gets me is that women who put us down for being MGTOW do and say absolutely nothing about the behavior of the women in their ranks that pushed us in that direction in the first place. We're damned if we do and damned if we don't.

 

Srsly I have NEVER heard a woman putting down a man who labels himself "MGTOW"!! Never! It's more like okbuhbye! I'm sure that is a very good choice for those guys!

[toolforgrowth]

Your interpretation of what I said is far more a function of your perspective more than of my words. You seem bent on battle. I'm not an advocate, much less a warrior, for a group- or a victim of a group. I advocate seeing people as individuals because it's worked best for me and has been more fun and interesting. People like being treated that way too.

 

Edited to add: Wait. Not true. I am a blinded tribal blood-follower of a hockey team and am a flaming jerk about it. My BF now knows that I consider anyone playing my team (with one exception, because it’s my daughter’s team) to be evil. Everyone else is evil. In hockey. ☺

 

All's fair in love and hockey.

 

I'm not bent on battle. I simply don't understand why you have a differing view of feminism than what is illustrated via their media mediums (I've been waiting to use that for a long time now!). I get the impression that you're a feminist, but your posts are very blase, almost apathetic, so it's hard to gauge. That's not a criticism, you're just difficult to read.

 

And I've repeatedly said that women on LS aren't indicative on the general population of women (which is usually who we're referring to). If women are taking the time to participate on a relationship forum, I'd wager they're invested in relationships to at least a certain degree.

 

With that being said, one's perception is their reality. Their perceptions are typically based on the actions of others, or on the words of someone else.

 

One would hope that the perception is only deemed accurate when the words and actions jive.

Edited April 23, 2015 by toolforgrowth

[SearchingForMyself]

You feel that Reddit is more valid? :confused: Well I guess you aren't alone, there are a lot more of you reading Reddit and A Voice for Men than Derrida or Virginia Woolf that's pretty obvious!

 

Generalization followed by an attempted shot at our intelligence. But the Virginia Woolf comment made your case worse.

 

You do know she was an erratic women who killed herself, right? Not exactly a ringing endorsement.

[SearchingForMyself]

Srsly I have NEVER heard a woman putting down a man who labels himself "MGTOW"!! Never! It's more like okbuhbye! I'm sure that is a very good choice for those guys!

 

I can cite so many examples of women on this site who want successful men who aren't into them who they constantly put down saying that he's stupid for not being into you.

 

Feminists don't go around saying they are feminist. It's in their actions.

[SearchingForMyself]

Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that marriage is not mandatory by law.

 

What's ironic is that feminism itself has priced marriage out of the market for men. It's simply too expensive a product that does virtually nothing. For all their efforts to change the law to benefit them at the expense of men, all they've done is turn men away from marriage all together. At least, a good portion of them.

 

I see threads here on LS and on another forum I go to with women complaining that their man won't get married to them. And it's sad, but I can't help but think Gee, I wonder why.

 

Usually, when I read those threads, most of the time the man is either already married or has a gf.

[Anela]

I can cite so many examples of women on this site who want successful men who aren't into them who they constantly put down saying that he's stupid for not being into you.

 

Feminists don't go around saying they are feminist. It's in their actions.

 

I'm a feminist, and I get tired of it being thrown around like it's something disgusting to be. The women who walk around frowning on feminism, along with those men who do the same, are not only kicking dirt over something that ensured them a better life in some ways, but also miss the point.

[SearchingForMyself]

I'm a feminist, and I get tired of it being thrown around like it's something disgusting to be. The women who walk around frowning on feminism, along with those men who do the same, are not only kicking dirt over something that ensured them a better life in some ways, but also miss the point.

 

I'm so glad you said it. The actual definition as compared to its modern day implications seem to be on the opposite ends of the spectrum.

[toolforgrowth]

I'm a feminist, and I get tired of it being thrown around like it's something disgusting to be. The women who walk around frowning on feminism, along with those men who do the same, are not only kicking dirt over something that ensured them a better life in some ways, but also miss the point.

 

"To depend upon a profession is a less odious form of slavery than to depend upon a father." -- Virginia Woolf

 

What, exactly, is the point that we're missing?

[clia]

 

Feminists don't go around saying they are feminist. It's in their actions.

 

How are you defining "feminist"?