Breezee Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Ok, i hear that. But what if there are other things? Experiences? As I said somewhere recently, I'm no stranger to spending $500 to go out for a night with someone I'm into or $3000 in a weekend. I don't do this all the time, but I do treat those I'm with to fun, interesting times all year round, because I want to. Rather than collecting stuff (minimalist), I prefer to collect experiences and hope to find someone similar. I love this idea! I've always told my teenage son that shared experiences are something a person will keep forever! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Ok, i hear that. But what if there are other things? Experiences? As I said somewhere recently, I'm no stranger to spending $500 to go out for a night with someone I'm into or $3000 in a weekend. I don't do this all the time, but I do treat those I'm with to fun, interesting times all year round, because I want to. Rather than collecting stuff (minimalist), I prefer to collect experiences and hope to find someone similar. What's the difference tho really? I'd consider a $500 night that you covered or a $3000 weekend a gift more or less (albeit a very expensive one). If you're doing that stuff for her, you're still showing you want to give. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 A lot of people do those things without a holiday, as well. They have them as hobbies, or look for something to do with their partner or friends, over the weekend, or for a vacation. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 See... your guy does this stuff on holidays. I do this stuff every week or 2 as the mood strikes us. I do these types of things and much much more on a daily basis, not on specific days on the calendar. My boyfriend is a great boyfriend and he doesn't do this "once in a while". Once in a while implies that he takes me out on good dates three times a year or something, and the rest of the time we do nothing. He's an amazing partner and I wouldn't trade him for anyone else. Don't imply that he doesn't treat me special except on holidays. He treats me like a queen every time we date, he just puts in a little extra on holidays, maybe spends a little bit more money than normal, but it doesn't mean our regular dates are bad- they're still amazing! We do this whether it is a holiday or not. He might put in a bit more planning into a holiday, but to imply that our normal dates are bad or boring is wrong. There's nothing bad about planning a little extra for a holiday. Also, I explicitly said I don't like getting gifts. So I'm not sure why you are mentioning gifts w.r.t. to my post. I HATE getting gifts! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 (edited) What's the difference tho really? I'd consider a $500 night that you covered or a $3000 weekend a gift more or less (albeit a very expensive one). If you're doing that stuff for her, you're still showing you want to give. That's what I'm saying. I do things, but I don't buy things. But these aren't gifts, I'm thinking. These are experiences we have together. Edited April 21, 2015 by loveweary11 Link to post Share on other sites
PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Do you even have a girlfriend yet? Why don't you worry about getting a GF before you worry about having to buy her gifts? You might find someone you love to pieces and none of this will matter. Kind putting the cart before the horse, here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 My boyfriend is a great boyfriend and he doesn't do this "once in a while". Once in a while implies that he takes me out on good dates three times a year or something, and the rest of the time we do nothing. He's an amazing partner and I wouldn't trade him for anyone else. Don't imply that he doesn't treat me special except on holidays. He treats me like a queen every time we date, he just puts in a little extra on holidays, maybe spends a little bit more money than normal, but it doesn't mean our regular dates are bad- they're still amazing! We do this whether it is a holiday or not. He might put in a bit more planning into a holiday, but to imply that our normal dates are bad or boring is wrong. There's nothing bad about planning a little extra for a holiday. Also, I explicitly said I don't like getting gifts. So I'm not sure why you are mentioning gifts w.r.t. to my post. I HATE getting gifts! Must have misread something. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Must have misread something. Haha! Its ok, I did write a chunk of text. I think that you're looking for someone who speaks your Love Language. This is why giving gifts makes no sense to you, because your Love Language is probably spending quality time or something. Mine is spending quality time and acts of service, I need that to feel loved. I felt very loved when my boyfriend took me to the botanical garden, because although I never requested it, I was talking about it for a while and he picked up on it. Its a special place I wanted to show him. Gifts don't mean anything to me. So I think that the woman you want to look for is someone who also values spending quality time. I know some women have written on here that their boyfriends/husbands don't give them gifts which makes them feel unloved. I don't think there's anything wrong with gift giving, it means something to some people and doesn't mean anything to others. I think its about finding a person who understands where you're coming from. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Do you even have a girlfriend yet? Why don't you worry about getting a GF before you worry about having to buy her gifts? You might find someone you love to pieces and none of this will matter. Kind putting the cart before the horse, here. So you lose on logic and go for the personal attack. lol How very fitting. I have a **** ton of girls, thanks...one of whom said we ought to get married recently. Just haven't narrowed the field down and this question was to gauge the general population's outlook on these stupid types of holidays and buying teddy bears and whatnot on Valentines day. Qurstion was asked to get an understanding of how common or rare it is to expect your man to buy you junk to collect. Apparently, your opinion is in the minority and the wonen on this board who I've seen to have good personalities on other threads are in the "it's not important" category. We'll leave it to the obvious fact I wouldn't touch someone with your personality with a 10 ft pole. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 This... exactly. Every word of it. Thanks for verbalizing it. I was unable to., Haha! Its ok, I did write a chunk of text. I think that you're looking for someone who speaks your Love Language. This is why giving gifts makes no sense to you, because your Love Language is probably spending quality time or something. Mine is spending quality time and acts of service, I need that to feel loved. I felt very loved when my boyfriend took me to the botanical garden, because although I never requested it, I was talking about it for a while and he picked up on it. Its a special place I wanted to show him. Gifts don't mean anything to me. So I think that the woman you want to look for is someone who also values spending quality time. I know some women have written on here that their boyfriends/husbands don't give them gifts which makes them feel unloved. I don't think there's anything wrong with gift giving, it means something to some people and doesn't mean anything to others. I think its about finding a person who understands where you're coming from. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Apparently, your opinion is in the minority and the wonen on this board who I've seen to have good personalities on other threads are in the "it's not important" category. We'll leave it to the obvious fact I wouldn't touch someone with your personality with a 10 ft pole. You might want to take your own advice, and let that anger go... As one that you wouldn't see as having a great personality here, even though I've heard otherwise, from people that I actually trust, I wouldn't sniff at a vacation as a gift. I've told my parents that I'd rather have more experiences, than receive gifts; they don't have a lot of money, and it makes me uncomfortable, but they like gifts, and they *love* to give. I once had a man in my life, who refused to even utter the words "happy birthday" to me (which hurt at the time, because I like to celebrate), but he was just contrary in general - he felt the need to stand out, to be different somehow. A lot of people like to spend holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving with their families, and to buy gifts for others, as well as receive them every so often. There's nothing wrong with that. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 That's what I'm saying. I do things, but I don't buy things. But these aren't gifts, I'm thinking. These are experiences we have together. Sure you buy things, you buy hotel stays, dinners, etc. Why the big distinction between those things and material possessions, when the impetus to give is the same? I think you're getting too analytical about it all honestly. Call it "giving her experiences" if you want - you're still giving. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 We'll leave it to the obvious fact I wouldn't touch someone with your personality with a 10 ft pole. WHEW…I'm relieved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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