Why do single moms over 30 still think they can go on a dating site and demand things

[LookAtThisPOst]

Well, this could be true of online dating in general...a complaint uttered countless times on message boards everywhere when women seem to have an axe to grind or you must meet this straight on bullet list of criteria or you're out of the running....ESP. when they aren't much to look at themselves or have much going on for them.

 

There's this one woman that was recently divorced, full-time student, early 40's with 4 kids...and going back to college (wasn't employed.) But yet had this, "Must have a full head of hair and be 6 feet tall" (among other criteria) in her profile.

 

This reminded me of an old-saying my friend used to say, "Welfare mothers, make better lovers!" lol

 

 

 

I have no issue with single moms demanding things on line. While you might not view them at the top of the ladder I can assure you they are sought after.

 

What I find most ironic is that you are complaining about them having standards. I would almost bet money this stems from the fact that you are not meeting their standards.

 

I do find some of the demands that women make too be fairly comical. I also find extensive demands to be a rather big turn off. It just comes off as negative, rude and off putting too me.

 

The dumbest demand that I've read on dating websites are the "must have an college education" one.. Um why? A college degree is no measure of intelligence or success.

 

The problem I have seen with internet dating is that people tend too over value themselves. I think this stems from the very attractive men with issues or very attractive male sex addict.

[KatZee]

Oh, and I also have to add this.

 

My mother was over 30 and a single mother when she started dating my now step-dad.

 

My "father" who left us when I was 3 was a real piece of garbage.

 

My mother met a man she worked with, and they started dating. He didn't mind that she was over 30, he didn't mind that she had a toddler at home.

 

THAT, ladies and gentleman, is a MAN.

 

You little boys boasting on here that you'd never touch a single mother, that she's bottom of the barrel material? Pull your head out of your a.$$ and get over yourself.

 

Do you know what happened when my mom started dating this guy? They got married. I got an actual dad. The man who taught me how to ride my bike, drive a car, supported me while I went to college, who continues to support me now that I myself am 30.

 

Trust me when I tell you, no upstanding, genuine, authentic woman, looking for a real man, would EVER date you.

[minimariah]

athleticism is OK but when you hit this level of vanity and arrogance, it's a huge turn off.

 

it's always a huge turn off when a dude says - well, i worked my a** off in the gym JUST to attract women! - does anything else scream desperation more than that? like... even if you take care of your body solely for women, keep quiet about it, LOL.

 

not to mention that after all that hard work, most still can't find a woman to save their lives...

 

fun fact - i know more "obese" & "fat" women who are happily dating, married with kids for YEARS and all the 6pack-killing myself in the gym-dudes single as hell. i always wondered about that.

[GemmaUK]

I am not a mother but I wouldn't date a man who had this kind of attitude about single mums.

 

 

If/when I discovered he had this attitude I would quit dating him as it tells me so much about the man and his values and if he thinks this way he is likely to have a general lack of respect for women.

[KatZee]

 

not to mention that after all that hard work, most still can't find a woman to save their lives...

 

That's because these dudes are more shallow than a puddle in the street following an afternoon rain.

 

These guys never have depth, or anything going on except for, "I love to workout."

 

Yeah, lets talk about politics, books you've read, things you've done and are proud of in life (beyond your bulging triceps).

 

Most of the time they are very vapid. And that's just boring. I've talked to and been on lots of dates with meatheads. Gets old very fast.

[minimariah]

to make things even worse - there was another thread here recently, opened by some dude who was pissed off that single moms won't date a man without kids.

 

like... there are really dudes out there who cannot understand that a woman has every right to pick & choose whoever she wants, whenever she wants it, however. they really sit around and ask themselves - how DARE she have criteria & standards?! she is a single mother!!!

 

a - m - a - z - i - n - g.

 

i wanna be a man just for a day, must be nice.

[minimariah]

Based on threads you've started before, you've got a few issues that would be considered deal breakers for women too. So in that vein, I could ask - why is it that balding men think they can go on dating sites and demand things?

 

hold on... the OP cannot even grow hair?!

 

the audacity...

[irishguy]

I would hope single moms have high enough standards in people regardless of looks , they have there children to think of .

[elaine567]

fun fact - i know more "obese" & "fat" women who are happily dating, married with kids for YEARS and all the 6pack-killing myself in the gym-dudes single as hell. i always wondered about that.

 

That is very true and I guess has something to do with that "obese" woman living in the real world, and not in a fantasy world hiding away in gyms, obsessing over her musculature.

These men only come out occasionally to screw some "hot" woman who is also similarly obsessed with her abs, and then they wonder why they never have any proper relationships with "good" women.

[road]

Do they not understand that they are no longer at the top of the list for the best date option? Plus they are competing with other women who are single and childless so I just don't understand they come off so negative and what they don't want. You would think that in their situation they would be positive and come as down to earth since most guys don't look for single moms first for dating.

 

I know I am not the only guy who has seen this on a dating site

 

 

Because in their own eyes when teens in high school throughout their 20's they could have their pick of men.

 

 

Now in their 30's they see their competition on OLD. The competition is a bunch of women that have always had a hard time in the dating market in high school and throughout their 20's.

[road]

Obese women can be confident on the computer but not in real life

 

 

That is not confidence it is poor manners.

[xxoo]

Single moms over 30 are not a homogenous group. Neither are young women, or thin women, or obese women. Within these groups, there are amazing catches and bad bets.

 

I've known single moms in their 30s who have attracted really desirable men. These women are very desirable themselves: attractive, accomplished, loving, wise, etc. Nothing about being a single mother necessarily excludes any of those traits.

[road]

I have no issue with single moms demanding things on line. While you might not view them at the top of the ladder I can assure you they are sought after.

 

 

 

The dumbest demand that I've read on dating websites are the "must have an college education" one.. Um why? A college degree is no measure of intelligence or success.

 

The problem I have seen with internet dating is that people tend too over value themselves.

 

 

 

 

Yes hot is still hot. Now men rated in the top third will not want a woman with a kid no matter how hot she is. They have unlimited options.

 

 

Though there is many men in the middle third that would accept a higher rated hot woman with a kid. And safe to safe almost every man in the bottom third would accept a hot woman 10 with a kid and is an ax murderess.

[xxoo]

Yes hot is still hot. Now men rated in the top third will not want a woman with a kid no matter how hot she is. They have unlimited options.

 

This is simply not true. Men with the most options pick the woman they want the most. Sometimes, that amazing woman has a child.

 

I've known more than one attractive doctor marry a woman with a child.

[road]

 

Who cares that they aren't on the top of the food chain?

 

If I am obese, do I have to take what I can get?

 

 

Yes. Or lose the weight. Everyone says they want the best they can get. When in reality the only will accept the best there is when they have no chance to get it.

 

 

Then complain that they can not find a good man/woman.

 

 

People when selling a house do things to make it look better to sell easier.

When selling a car they detail it for the same reason.

 

 

Yet the same people will not lose weight, change their dress, hair, grooming, cleanliness, try to learn better social skills to up their own rating.

[road]

"Why don't women do the approaching?"

 

-Sincerely, every dateless guy on here that uses OLD and has issues with "feminism" and "women who have standards."

 

 

 

It is not issues with the feminazi's. it has to do with seeing woman they would love to date trying to pull in men that they never will get and while turning them down. Then have to listen to these women bee-itch about how they can not get a good man.

 

 

Same for the other way around for the women, including the feminazis.

[road]

Single mom over 30 seeks anyone at all, anyone who will have her, as she is so unworthy of anyone's attention.

NO pic needed, you can all guess how bad and undesirable she looks...

 

 

 

 

Finally an honest woman.

[elaine567]

Finally an honest woman.

 

Ha Ha...

>>>>>>>

[hotpotato]

I guess its like the 50, 60, 70 year old men who demand hot young thangs. *shrug*

 

What exactly should a woman do if she has a child and wants to date? Postnatal abortion?

[road]

Single moms over 30 are not a homogenous group. Neither are young women, or thin women, or obese women. Within these groups, there are amazing catches and bad bets.

 

I've known single moms in their 30s who have attracted really desirable men. These women are very desirable themselves: attractive, accomplished, loving, wise, etc. Nothing about being a single mother necessarily excludes any of those traits.

 

 

 

 

They are a group because too many share too many characteristics. Yes there are exceptions. Though generalizing makes the sorting easier.

[Jenmarie]

Its the same thing with obese women too. I get at least 1 message a week from a obese women on POF. I don't want to sound like a douche, but i'm actually insulted every time they think they deserve a guy like me. I want to send them a message explaining how many thousands of hours i've spend in the gym, and how often i've had to starve myself for months at a time so I can have a body that is attractive to attractive women. Do they think they deserve a fit guy when they are 100lbs over weight themselves??? I honestly don't understand it. Even I don't bother messaging the girls online that I consider to be absolutely gorgeous because I know my range for girls lies more in the cute to very pretty range.

 

I even had one send me a message saying "well f**k you too" after she sent me a message, and I checked her profile then didn't respond. I try and be polite to people but she made it very difficult.

 

Whoa, it's one thing having a particular type or taste in women, but being a shallow *******? You're right, they don't deserve someone like you. They deserve someone better.

[dreamingoftigers]

Yes. Or lose the weight. Everyone says they want the best they can get. When in reality the only will accept the best there is when they have no chance to get it.

 

 

Then complain that they can not find a good man/woman.

 

 

People when selling a house do things to make it look better to sell easier.

When selling a car they detail it for the same reason.

 

 

Yet the same people will not lose weight, change their dress, hair, grooming, cleanliness, try to learn better social skills to up their own rating.

 

Oh for Chrissakes.

 

That was my point.

 

Funnily enough I work in Real Estate. Yes there is a "market value" to homes.

But guess what? I don't have to sell if I don't like how the market is responding to my potential transaction. Hell, I don't have to sell at all if I don't want to.

 

Plus, I can add conditions to my sale, a potential buyer can take it or leave it.

 

I can even price high. It may not sell, but most likely it will. The catch: it may sit on the market for a long time.

 

In a tight market, most will take it. In a market with lots of lower-priced options, perhaps no one will take it.

 

OLD? That's a tight market for men.

 

But my mentor has one line he mentions, and it is absolutely true: the sale will happen if a seller is motivated enough. Basically, if you ask for it, there is someone out there that will supply it. Someone, for whatever reason, is emotionally responsive to what you are selling, whatever their motive, and they will purchase.

 

I find the whole, "fat woman single forever" thing to be kind of a joke. I haven't been single more than a few months (by choice!) since I was 15. I have never had trouble finding dates. I was also a motivated seller. If I liked a guy, I asked him out. At dances, I asked every guy to dance. I liked to dance.

 

I have gotten hit on since being married. From guys that were in reasonable shape too etc. Nice guys and douchebags alike. I respond to people I think fairly well, I make eye contact with them. I take an interest in them. It sometimes generates a result of them crushing on me. It happens. But I am like that with almost everyone. Except government employees. I just have a thing about that. I could practically hide in my phone all day around them.

 

Be likeable and people will like you, in general. Looks and weight will matter more to some and less to others. It isn't a universally, single-factor market.

 

Just like everyone who is a potential buyer on the housing market is looking for the exact same type of house. We each have different wants and needs.

[dreamingoftigers]

It is not issues with the feminazi's. it has to do with seeing woman they would love to date trying to pull in men that they never will get and while turning them down. Then have to listen to these women bee-itch about how they can not get a good man.

 

Same for the other way around for the women, including the feminazis.

 

They actually have to ASK women out to get turned down.

 

The biggest common denominator that I see the dateless men on here have is that they DON'T ASK and would prefer women do the approaching. Seriously?

 

So you don't show any real indicators of interest beyond friendship, and then wonder why you get "friend-zoned" and say that the guys who actually pursue the woman you are interested in are "jerks." While she says "I can't find a good guy that's into me." Why can't he say, "Hey, I'm right here! I'm into you, a lot, I just didn't know how to say it." Instead of sitting there pouting about how "she didn't notice, so she must not have been interested."

 

Duh. You wait around for dating to "happen" to you, and then you have to "take what you can get."

 

Same with ANYTHING in life. You may not get the top 1% desirable thing that you fantasize about, but what you invest your time and energy in pays dividends. You want to be a competitive eater? Stop dieting and hit the Chinese Buffet. You want a date? Ask for it. Are you a single mom sick of getting asked out by the "good time" guys? State upfront that your target market is guys that are looking for the real deal.

 

And so these so called dateless guys whine about not getting asked, while other guys online whine about getting approached. Seems like a no-win.

[William]

Morning folks. I closed this for review since the other moderators tend to be around on Sundays and moved it to GRD since there was no specific interpersonal interaction being discussed. We'll make a decision on such discussions and the results will display. Thanks for your contributions!