xxoo Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 I'm all over the place on this. I tend to Analyse things so I won't get into a situation, sometimes I thing it's my subconscious keeping me single so I don't get hurt. On the other hand, isn't saying 'so what if she's heavy set or will get bigger' if she's a great woman..." the same as me saying that to a woman who's way out of my league? I mean I could easily tell a woman who thinks I'm cute but to chunky for that. I don't know, I so like her but she's 10 years younger at 23ish so things could take a swing for the worse. It would be the same as you telling a woman who struggles to find a date to give the less attractive guy a chance. You like this woman. You are drawn to her. Live a little! Don't let pride stand in the way of living a full life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 There is a man out there that will love her the way she is and will keep on loving her even when she puts on a little extra weight. That being said, dating her is not marrying her. Go on a couple of dates and see how you feel about things in general. Maybe when you put your arms around her you won't like it, maybe she is a bad kisser, maybe maybe maybe. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 (edited) I'm all over the place on this. I tend to Analyse things so I won't get into a situation, **sometimes I thing it's my subconscious keeping me single so I don't get hurt**. On the other hand, isn't saying 'so what if she's heavy set or will get bigger' if she's a great woman..." the same as me saying that to a woman who's way out of my league? I mean I could easily tell a woman who thinks I'm cute but to chunky for that. I don't know, **I so like her but she's 10 years younger at 23ish so things could take a swing for the worse.** ...or it is your subconscious mind keeping you single because you LIKE being single, and you don't want to deal with the pressures, responsibilities and obligations that go along with being in a relationship! You say she is only 23ish so things could take a swing for a worse? First off, you have no idea how old she is, she could be 34 and look young for her age for all you know. Not to mention that age has no relevance to the situation anyway! Second, how about thinking things could swing for the better? She could LOSE weight just as easily as she could gain weight. There is another male poster on this board who met and started dating a gal who was heavier, who is now working out and losing weight! Please tell me you are NOT just another commitment phobe who is so afraid of losing his precious freedom and single lifestyle (which consists of going home alone every night and throwing last night's pizza into the microwave)...that you overanalyze to the nth degree every chick and every situation to the point of self-sabotaging every opportunity presented to you to avoid going out on a simple date! Edited April 19, 2015 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Seems many seem to think weight is set in stone. This girl may go on a diet, hit the gym and be "hot", or that "hot" girl may develop a fad for ice-cream and be heading for BBW status. If she is a very nice woman, then take that as a huge plus, but at 23 she may not be looking for a 33 year old. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Seems many seem to think weight is set in stone. This girl may go on a diet, hit the gym and be "hot", or that "hot" girl may develop a fad for ice-cream and be heading for BBW status. If she is a very nice woman, then take that as a huge plus, but at 23 she may not be looking for a 33 year old. He has never even spoken to her, he has no idea how old she is! Everything he has said and thinks re this girl is pure speculation at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Everyone has preferences and that's fine. If her weight is/would be a deal breaker, save both of your emotions by not getting involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SJC2008 Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 He has never even spoken to her, he has no idea how old she is! Everything he has said and thinks re this girl is pure speculation at this point. Re-read the OP. A woman I casually know = have spoken to. How would I know she seems really sweet etc? Good lawd... Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I hear you OP. I don't date men that are close to what I see as too overweight, it's because in my experience people who don't exercise tend to get worse as they get older. Especially anyone in their 20s and 30s. No thanks. I don't care about love handles or a bit of belly but I don't want to be with a fat man. That's not the same as going bald or having more wrinkles, by the way. The difference is that those things can't be helped (bar surgery). Being overweight is a lifestyle choice result and that's why it gets worse over time as people don't make the effort to maintain their health and lack discipline to do. It's not something I respect, personally. Talk to her OP by all means but if I read it right, she is only around 23 but already considerably overweight. It's likely to get worse if she isn't recognising it and doing something about it. The larger someone is, the harder it is for them to get rid of the excess weight. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I think you should just get to know her. Personally I put on weight when I am miserable... In the past year since I have been getting happier I have magically lost over 4st... I still eat chocolate I am just happy and more active. People keep asking what my "trick" is and to be honest it is just getting happy... Get to know her then you may find out where the "weight" issue began and perhaps if you talk about how you want to get fitter and be healthier she may join you on that and keep it up... Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I've always thought of myself as a person with a "type". My exes followed a pattern of being tall, nerdy and skinny. So, I always had my eye out for a guy like this.... and then I met my current boyfriend. He's short (but all guys are tall by my standards since I'm so short haha), stocky and super confident, the total opposite of anyone I'd been interested in. He's also sweet, generous, nice, hilarious, fun to be around, worldly but down to earth and I find him irresistibly sexy and adorable. I wasn't sure where the attraction came from but I just did not care. What matters is that I found something special and just ran with it. If I focused too much on it then I would have missed out on something awesome. You are obviously interested in her and attracted to her, why not get to know her better first? Link to post Share on other sites
Syberia Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Take a chance on her. If everything else is there, you don't know how your attraction to her will end up. Link to post Share on other sites
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