Moy Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 That's brilliant! Your Looks and Your Inbox « OkTrends Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 I have never seen this dynamic play out in real life. This seems to be LS men's theory on why they keep getting rejected. Not sure where you get this from. It's not a theory, it's simple supply and demand. Most OLD sites are at a minimum 60% men 40% women. of chunky women can get a skinny guy on the streets just imagine what they can get online when they have the upper hand because there are more men. Then they get pumped and dumped and wonder what they did wrong. Common sense... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 It's not a theory, it's simple supply and demand. Most OLD sites are at a minimum 60% men 40% women. of chunky women can get a skinny guy on the streets just imagine what they can get online when they have the upper hand because there are more men. Then they get pumped and dumped and wonder what they did wrong. Common sense... And most chunky women can't tell the difference between real interest and FAKE interest. Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Women sometimes feel like they are the center of the universe. You can't blame them, That is just how they are. I have seen it a thousand times. A woman is walking with her guy and she is scanning with her eyes, Seeing if any attractive men are looking at her. They LOVE that attention. Always seeking but never satisfied. This is no way to live. Be happy with what you have or stop wasting men's time. Men are not acccessories to a woman's life, they actually have their own important agenda's! SO back to the tittle of this thread....Yes, you might be a little shallow in your thoughts and actions. Time to go deeper. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 It's not a theory, it's simple supply and demand. Most OLD sites are at a minimum 60% men 40% women. of chunky women can get a skinny guy on the streets just imagine what they can get online when they have the upper hand because there are more men. Then they get pumped and dumped and wonder what they did wrong. Common sense... I was very surprised to see that stat, so I did some searching. Seems like there are indeed more men than women but not by much (still surprised me, I would have guessed OLD would have more women) What Is the Ratio of Men to Women on Dating Sites? - NextAdvisor Blog Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 I was very surprised to see that stat, so I did some searching. Seems like there are indeed more men than women but not by much (still surprised me, I would have guessed OLD would have more women) What Is the Ratio of Men to Women on Dating Sites? - NextAdvisor Blog It depends on what demographic you fish in. Overall total population its likely men a bit more men women, but in 20s-30s age bracket from a few sites I looked at the ratio of M:F was something nearer 60:40. Look at 40s-50s and you might even find the ratio might actually swing in favor of men. Look at sign up by age bracket and you'll see women start pouring into OLD in their 40s. imo women on OLD in their 20s & 30s have the advantage over men. Beyond the numerical edge I also think the shopping catalog nature of OLD combined with better catch players (who are happy to bullshyte & drop standards for flings) and then also regular guys who end up doing the same for a result, that distorts the experience even more imo. Not every woman (especially the younger ones) who doesn't land her forever after guy from her first date will still not have good times from the attention on OLD. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Breezee Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 (edited) Um, what are your "V sex issues"? Is the "V" supposed to stand for Vagina? Also, if you're in your mid 50s and are visually attracted to younger guys, have you thought of going on dating sites that are specifically made for older women/younger guys? If you want to date guys in your age range, you might have to lower your physical attraction/looks standards with regard to guys that age. I can't remember the last time I saw an older guy that was attractive. I mean, I'm sure there ARE attractive older guys in this world; but, I haven't seen any IRL. . Yes to the V issue. I'm one of the unfortunate post menopausal women who has "v atrophy". I posted a thread regarding that issue a few weeks ago. As for being attracted to younger guys, it's more that I'm attracted to who I'm attracted to visually and as you mentioned, there are many more young guys whom I think are attractive. But I would only go 5 yrs younger OR older than me. But I'm absolutely about the package as a WHOLE. Can't be attractive and have nothing in common, etc. Edited April 20, 2015 by Breezee Link to post Share on other sites
MoreThanThat Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I'm in my 40s and the ugly truth is that indeed, men in their 40s and 50s have a much much wider dating pool than women the same age. The can date their age and up to 20 years younger, while we cannot date much younger except for sex only. In other words, you can have flings with younger men, but if you want a life partner, that's going to be more difficult. I think it depends on how attractive you are and other qualities. I'm in mid 40's and my last few relationships have been with men 13-15 years younger and they were definitely not just about sex. Offline, it's rare that someone over 40 will even approach me - it's more late 20's to 35. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I think it depends on how attractive you are and other qualities. I'm in mid 40's and my last few relationships have been with men 13-15 years younger and they were definitely not just about sex. Offline, it's rare that someone over 40 will even approach me - it's more late 20's to 35. You probably look 10 years younger than your age. Congratulations. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Yes to the V issue. I'm one of the unfortunate post menopausal women who has "v atrophy". I posted a thread regarding that issue a few weeks ago. As for being attracted to younger guys, it's more that I'm attracted to who I'm attracted to visually and as you mentioned, there are many more young guys whom I think are attractive. But I would only go 5 yrs younger OR older than me. But I'm absolutely about the package as a WHOLE. Can't be attractive and have nothing in common, etc. Instead of analyzing so much, just do it and see how it goes. You need some practice first and then you learn what works and what it doesn't instead of just speak theoretically and just based on a little bit of browsing. Just go out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Breezee Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 Instead of analyzing so much, just do it and see how it goes. You need some practice first and then you learn what works and what it doesn't instead of just speak theoretically and just based on a little bit of browsing. Just go out there. Yes you're right! I do tend to over analyze. Guess my therapist is right to tell me not to worry about that part at this point! Link to post Share on other sites
TB Rhine Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 You've said it yourself... you're in your 50's, that's WAY past any woman's expiration date. You're gonna have to learn to stop acting as though you can sit back and take your pick of the litter. Even men your age are going to be looking for chicks in their 40's to get down with. My advice would be to go to some nice singles mixers for people your age and be thankful for the attention that comes your way. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 "LS men" ? I get it from experience. I'm by no means a top tier guy, but I am above average, and do pretty well with online dating. Though I have some serious issues with it. In real life I usually have only cute to hot girls flirt with me. Online I'll have women who are morbidly obese message me, then send me messages like "f**ck you" when I don't respond back to them. The level of entitlement is insane. It would be the same as me walking up to a Victoria's Secret model then telling her she's a stuck up b##ch because she doesn't want to sleep with me. People should know their place in the dating realm, because trying to shoot way too high just leads to resentment and hurt. Also try and find some of the male model online dating experiments some guys have done. They'll use top tier guys and say things like "i want to rape you" or "you're fat and ugly" to girls then ask for their number and still get it. Girls go full retard over really hot guys, just like guys do for girls. We all aren't really that different. The dating world just happens to be heavily weighted in girls favor because they can be a lot more picky on who gets to sleep with them than guys tend to be. Yeah, just like you I can easily knock down the less attractive. I slept with a girl (not with soley that intention) I met on okcupid and could've done more. It's the more attractive that I couldn't pull. There was a thread a while back here that someone made with a link to body building forum. They were trolling with pics of unknown male models, sending the most offensive messages "I wanna fu*k your ass and suck my dick" and the gals were handing out their numbers. It was just screenshot after screenshot of the funniest sh*t they debunked every myth, there were guys on there crying about how depressing it was. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I have never seen this dynamic play out in real life. This seems to be LS men's theory on why they keep getting rejected. Not sure where you get this from. You have men complaining about rejection and I know you've heard women complain that all the guys online just want sex? There's a correlation there, that's not a coincidence. Think about it for a sec 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I was very surprised to see that stat, so I did some searching. Seems like there are indeed more men than women but not by much (still surprised me, I would have guessed OLD would have more women) What Is the Ratio of Men to Women on Dating Sites? - NextAdvisor Blog I just did a search on match of men and women aged 26-32 with no kids. I did it in a large city (top 5) from the center within a 5 mile radius because above that there are 2000+ returns and we obviously need an exact number. There are 1051 women and 1436 men so 42.3% women and 57.7 men. Before the dance starts there are 385 extra men to chose from and 385 fewer women to choose from. Now tell me who gets to be the picky ones?? Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 (edited) OP, you are of course entitled to want what you want. The heart wants what it wants. That said, perhaps those more "general" sites aren't a great match for what you're searching for? If you're chasing a very special fish, you have to be choosy about where you fish In the end, if you open yourself up to different types of men, life can surprise you. It's not uncommon for women to form relationships with men they'd have sworn they'd *never* be into. Edited April 20, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Bohonia Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Here's the issue with online dating you can't sense their energy. Sounds funny huh but when you meet someone they give off a vibe that regardless of how they "look" you can be drawn to them and see past their not so perfect physical features... I wouldn't limit myself if I were you a hot guy may not feel right for you in person even if online he looks like the perfect package. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Here's the issue with online dating you can't sense their energy. Sounds funny huh but when you meet someone they give off a vibe that regardless of how they "look" you can be drawn to them and see past their not so perfect physical features... I wouldn't limit myself if I were you a hot guy may not feel right for you in person even if online he looks like the perfect package. Plus a hot guy will have tons of other women to chose from which leads to drama 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Moy Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I'm not quite ready to jump in just yet but was just curious about dating sites. I set up free accounts on Match, OKC and OurTime so I could check out if there are any guys I would truly be interested in dating. In all honesty there was only one of two who I would even remotely be interested in meeting. Most of the guys are either totally ugh, or simply unappealing. And of course there was one guy who was very appealing (looks, likes & values) and wouldn't you know it, I'm out of his age preference range. I don't know if this is being shallow, I simply am attracted to those whom I find attractive physically as well as personality/core values/like & dislikes, etc. I worry since I'm in my mid 50's with V sex "issues". Ugh! I absolutely dread my STBD! What are your thoughts on dating at my age and my visual selectiveness? I don't know how I can get past the looks of a guy I'm totally not attracted to initially. You're in your 50s, which isn't young. What age group of men are you targeting? If you are going for younger men, be honest with what you have to attract them with. Comments like: "Most of the guys are either totally ugh, or simply unappealing. And of course there was one guy who was very appealing (looks, likes & values) and wouldn't you know it, I'm out of his age preference range." come across as sounding arrogant and entitled. I'd be very interested to see the responses to this post had it been a man describing most women as "totally ugh." Are you GENUINELY physically attractive enough to warrant calling most guys "totally ugh?" or to be going for guys when you are outside of their own age preference range? Do you have attractive younger guys approaching you in real life? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Yes, that's what I was thinking as well! Family & friends tell me that I should have no problem attracting a man but where the heck does one meet them? I took a look at a few meetup.com groups but most everyone looks to be in their 20's & 30's. I live in the suburbs and I rarely see guys who I'm attracted to who are close to my age…difficult when you're attracted to guys who are like 20 years younger, lol! Five years younger or older would be it for me. Where do 50-ish women meet quality men? I agree that some of the best looking guys are 20 years younger than us 50 year olds. It's amazing that everyone thinks it's okay and normal for men on those sites to go for women 20 years younger but people seem to raise an eyebrow or call you shallow if you are a 50 year old woman who is also attracted to the younger men. I think it's also a good idea to meet men in person. Maybe join some groups this summer that includes younger men. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I just did a search on match of men and women aged 26-32 with no kids. I did it in a large city (top 5) from the center within a 5 mile radius because above that there are 2000+ returns and we obviously need an exact number. There are 1051 women and 1436 men so 42.3% women and 57.7 men. Before the dance starts there are 385 extra men to chose from and 385 fewer women to choose from. Now tell me who gets to be the picky ones?? It is probably even more depressing because a lot of guys 32-50 are going to want to dip into the 26-32 female demographic too. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Honestly, what the heck would you talk about with a man 20 years younger? Different stage in life, different interests, different thinking. You can only have a sexual relationship with someone so much younger, imo. Especially as a woman. I am attracted to guys 20 years younger, sure, but they're kids to me! Mrs. Robinson was a bit creepy. If you want to just have fun, maybe date someone for a few months, you can definitely get that out of OLD at 50. But if you want a life partner eventually, it's really not workable IMO. I went on three dates once with a really hot guy, 10 years my junior and I would have never considered him serious BF material. His main point was physical hotness but I would have never allowed to be seen with him in my professional circles. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 You're in your 50s, which isn't young. What age group of men are you targeting? If you are going for younger men, be honest with what you have to attract them with. Comments like: "Most of the guys are either totally ugh, or simply unappealing. And of course there was one guy who was very appealing (looks, likes & values) and wouldn't you know it, I'm out of his age preference range." come across as sounding arrogant and entitled. I'd be very interested to see the responses to this post had it been a man describing most women as "totally ugh." Are you GENUINELY physically attractive enough to warrant calling most guys "totally ugh?" or to be going for guys when you are outside of their own age preference range? Do you have attractive younger guys approaching you in real life? >>You're in your 50's which isn't young.... ------- ^^Dude, newsflash -- to a 60 or 70 year old, it's young!! My dad was 65, and looking damn HOT I might add, when he met my step mom who was 51!! She was also damn hot!! Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Breezee is divorcing, she will be looking to date men who are on a par with her STBXhusband and why shouldn't she? She will find her level of man whether online or offline. Divorce is common, there must be many suitable men out there who are single. Some will remove themselves from the dating pool that is true, but so will some women. Seems to me that a lot of the criticism on here comes from younger men who themselves are struggling. Perhaps they want to make themselves feel better by putting down this lady. Kindness to others is an asset many women look for, perhaps some here should consider that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 You're in your 50s, which isn't young. What age group of men are you targeting? If you are going for younger men, be honest with what you have to attract them with. Comments like: "Most of the guys are either totally ugh, or simply unappealing. And of course there was one guy who was very appealing (looks, likes & values) and wouldn't you know it, I'm out of his age preference range." come across as sounding arrogant and entitled. I'd be very interested to see the responses to this post had it been a man describing most women as "totally ugh." Are you GENUINELY physically attractive enough to warrant calling most guys "totally ugh?" or to be going for guys when you are outside of their own age preference range? Do you have attractive younger guys approaching you in real life? You should know by now that only women get to be shallow not men. Even then unattractive and fat women but if a man ever expresses that he doesn't want to date a ugly women then it's a problem. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
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