Jump to content

Is this beauty flaw a dealbreaker?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

I have a friend with PCOS - she says she waxes for special occasions, but for everyday use she just shaves on a daily basis with a good razor like a clean-shaven guy would. It hasn't been a problem for her relationships-wise - she was in a LTR when I first got to know her, several years after that they broke up due to incompatibility, and some time after that she started a LTR with another guy, whom she's still currently with. So at least two decent guys were okay with it. Frankly I don't see why it would be a problem unless she lets it grow long.

 

That being said, it is concerning that 1) you keep posting on her behalf, and 2) she isn't doing anything to even try and manage her PCOS. PCOS can never be fully 'cured', but it can be managed. And some cases are harder than others to manage, but you won't know til you try.

  • Author
Posted
Have only read the first page but wanted to offer this:

 

Your friend could do one of two things I didn't see mentioned:

 

1. Electrology, which is expensive and takes a lot of time, may have already been suggested.

 

2. Take Spironolactone (Aldactone). This pharmaceutical blocks the amount of male hormone that gets to the skin level so is sometimes used in hirsute cases. Also, is used for acne, which is why I took it. A side effect is that a person who takes it will have breast enlargement that isn't reversible so it's not ordinarily prescribed to men.

Spironolactone has also been known to cause bad side effects and doesn't even always work.

  • Author
Posted
Lol!!! So many "Doctors" in this thread.:lmao:

 

Tell your friend to get dating regardless of the PCOS/Hair issue, no one is perfect. Some of the best looking people have the most hidious personality flaws.

 

No one has suggested threading (I read all 4 pages) as an option for hair removal. I do my upper lip and eyebrows by threading and last time I was getting it done there was a lady having her neck and chin done too.

 

I'll refrain from addding to the PCOS treatment debate! I will mention that weight loss and exercise go a long way in helping to manage PCOS.

 

I don't mind reading what people think and what they take.

I don't really want to pay for threading and since I have an underlying condition it may make it worse. Yes, losing weight/exercise/cutting back on sugar is good advice.

  • Author
Posted
Has she tried spirinolactone? No side effects from it.

 

I have head Spironolactone can cause side effects and not always work. I am concerned about taking medication; it should be a last resort.

  • Author
Posted
Hey no kidding!!!

 

My point is, the OP never asked for a cure for the PCOS or a million differing views and experiences of how to deal with it. She asked if her friend should expect to get dates having facial hair.

 

I am actually a registered, quailified medical professional. :cool:

 

Exactly, I don't mind reading what people use to get rid of their facial hair or if they have any other suggestions, but that's not why my friend initially made this thread. She actually created a thread for me on how to get rid of facial hair a few months ago. I pretty much know about all of the treatments and products out there. I have tried a bunch and have my reasons why I haven't tried the others yet. I don't mind what I am doing to control and maintain my facial hair now. I really just wanted to know if it a deal breaker for dating. Like should I even bother dating or once a guy sees or feels it, it will be a deal breaker.

 

I do believe it is a shallow reason to dump someone, but society makes facial hair on a woman seem like something horrible and taboo. Also, it's not like I am leaving the house with a full beard. If anything there's just some strays or a bit of a shadow in a few spots.

 

Since you are a medical professional, I guess you also think medicine is the answer? Do you have any natural suggestions? Thanks

  • Author
Posted
I have a friend with PCOS - she says she waxes for special occasions, but for everyday use she just shaves on a daily basis with a good razor like a clean-shaven guy would. It hasn't been a problem for her relationships-wise - she was in a LTR when I first got to know her, several years after that they broke up due to incompatibility, and some time after that she started a LTR with another guy, whom she's still currently with. So at least two decent guys were okay with it. Frankly I don't see why it would be a problem unless she lets it grow long.

 

That being said, it is concerning that 1) you keep posting on her behalf, and 2) she isn't doing anything to even try and manage her PCOS. PCOS can never be fully 'cured', but it can be managed. And some cases are harder than others to manage, but you won't know til you try.

 

Yea you can't wax daily. Your hair has to be long to wax it. Shaving is the fastest and easiest thing to do. I also put concealer and foundation over my face. Well my friend initially made this thread for me and then I took over. I was embarrassed to discuss it, but I feel okay about it now.

 

Well I just don't know what to do to manage it. I don't want to go on medicine at the moment. I am working on losing weight, cutting back on sugar and drinking spearmint tea. I would rather go on natural supplements than medicine . People always laugh off natural remedies, but some do work. I have researched many other forums and people swear by them over medicine. Is your friend on medicine?

Posted

well in regards to the original question, ill admit that i had a facial hair problem in the past and the two long term boyfriends I've had have had no issue with it. They didn't even notice until I told them or they were being nice :cool: I know how it feels, you know is there so you get self conscious that people are looking at it. If you want to get rid of it, get IPL, worked for me:cool:

  • Author
Posted
well in regards to the original question, ill admit that i had a facial hair problem in the past and the two long term boyfriends I've had have had no issue with it. They didn't even notice until I told them or they were being nice :cool: I know how it feels, you know is there so you get self conscious that people are looking at it. If you want to get rid of it, get IPL, worked for me:cool:

 

Thanks for the advice. I have gotten Laser and it only kept it off for a month. I also got headaches from it. Glad to hear some guys don't care. What did you do for it until you got IPL?

Posted
Thanks for the advice. I have gotten Laser and it only kept it off for a month. I also got headaches from it. Glad to hear some guys don't care. What did you do for it until you got IPL?

 

I got my chin waxed about every month and then I found out the waxing was aggravating the growth as they were waxing very fine white hairs aswell that were growing back darker. During the IPL, I shaved it as it doesn't damage the root of the hair follicle and stimulate repair and more growth. I still get little stray ones that I shave off and it's not even noticeable. :) it sucks big time, but what can you do? I'm going to buy a little IPL machine for about $800 when I can afford it and just do my legs because they grow quick too.

 

I'm only 23, I don't need this sort of stress to lower my self esteem, I consider myself fairly pretty to be completely honest and this excess hair can really make you feel like the ugliest person in the world. Big hugs x

Posted

Also with laser or IPL, it takes more than one session. You need to get all the hair cycles as there are more than one.

  • Author
Posted
I got my chin waxed about every month and then I found out the waxing was aggravating the growth as they were waxing very fine white hairs aswell that were growing back darker. During the IPL, I shaved it as it doesn't damage the root of the hair follicle and stimulate repair and more growth. I still get little stray ones that I shave off and it's not even noticeable. :) it sucks big time, but what can you do? I'm going to buy a little IPL machine for about $800 when I can afford it and just do my legs because they grow quick too.

 

I'm only 23, I don't need this sort of stress to lower my self esteem, I consider myself fairly pretty to be completely honest and this excess hair can really make you feel like the ugliest person in the world. Big hugs x

 

Yes, I thought waxing can cause problems, especially if you have PCOS. It messes with the follicles and actually can prevent you from getting electrolysis later on. Shaving doesn''t mess with the root of the hair. Well I never want to do laser or electrolysis at home because I think it is dangerous.

 

Thanks for the advice

  • Author
Posted
Also with laser or IPL, it takes more than one session. You need to get all the hair cycles as there are more than one.

 

Yea I had six treatments of laser on my face. I got a headache from each one and it only took the hair off for a month.

Posted (edited)
Yea you can't wax daily. Your hair has to be long to wax it. Shaving is the fastest and easiest thing to do. I also put concealer and foundation over my face. Well my friend initially made this thread for me and then I took over. I was embarrassed to discuss it, but I feel okay about it now.

 

Well I just don't know what to do to manage it. I don't want to go on medicine at the moment. I am working on losing weight, cutting back on sugar and drinking spearmint tea. I would rather go on natural supplements than medicine . People always laugh off natural remedies, but some do work. I have researched many other forums and people swear by them over medicine. Is your friend on medicine?

 

She is on medications, but I'm not sure exactly which ones she is taking. Weight loss IS part of the management of PCOS according to medical professionals, though, so it's good that you're trying to do that if you're overweight. Also, if you're a smoker, you need to quit pronto.

 

Honestly, I think you should just focus on your overall health and not worry so much about the hirsutism. Just do a good, close shave daily with a sharp razor that is changed often, and you should be fine. With my friend, when she did that her facial hair was almost unnoticeable except for a very light shadow. Frankly, IMO the type of guy who is so finnicky that he cannot even deal with THAT is unlikely to make a good LTR partner.

 

I'm generally a supporter of taking your meds when you need to, but medication for PCOS is aimed at symptom management and not curing it, and the medications that DO directly reduce hair growth (spironolactone) don't provide any other medical benefits to you. So it's really up to you whether you want to take that or not. The BC pills do reduce the risk of uterine cancer etc, but they do cause other risks so it's a matter of risk-benefit assessment.

Edited by Elswyth
  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
She is on medications, but I'm not sure exactly which ones she is taking. Weight loss IS part of the management of PCOS according to medical professionals, though, so it's good that you're trying to do that if you're overweight.

 

Honestly, I think you should just focus on your overall health and not worry so much about the hirsutism. Just do a good, close shave daily with a sharp razor that is changed often, and you should be fine. With my friend, when she did that her facial hair was almost unnoticeable except for a very light shadow. Frankly, IMO the type of guy who is so finnicky that he cannot even deal with THAT is unlikely to make a good LTR partner.

 

I'm generally a supporter of taking your meds when you need to, but medication for PCOS is aimed at symptom management and not curing it, and the medications that DO directly reduce hair growth (spironolactone) don't provide any other medical benefits to you. So it's really up to you whether you want to take that or not. The BC pills do reduce the risk of uterine cancer etc, but they do cause other risks so it's a matter of risk-benefit assessment.

 

Thanks for your advice and opinion. I appreciate your time. I am not really overweight, just wouldn't hurt to lose like 20 pounds. I use an electric razor and makeup to cover it and it works well. You probably would only notice I grew facial hair in good light and if you really looked. At the most you probably would see a light shadow in some spots. I agree I probably wouldn't want a guy who dumped me because of something I couldn't control and really isn't that bad. I am more concerned that it feels rough when it comes to dating. For me medicine is the last resort. Thanks again.

  • Author
Posted

Girls if you were a guy or are a guy and felt roughness on a girl's face would you dump her?

  • Author
Posted

I don't think the looks of my face is really the problem when it comes to dating, more the feeling. I remove the hair and cover it up with makeup, but it is still rough in some spots. Nobody's perfect and I am working on finding ways to lessen the facial hair.

 

So the consensus on here is I should try to date and if a guy has a problem with my jawline or neck being kind of rough or stubbly and dumps me, than he probably wouldn't have been a good boyfriend anyways and I dodged a bullet?

Posted
I don't think the looks of my face is really the problem when it comes to dating, more the feeling. I remove the hair and cover it up with makeup, but it is still rough in some spots. Nobody's perfect and I am working on finding ways to lessen the facial hair.

 

So the consensus on here is I should try to date and if a guy has a problem with my jawline or neck being kind of rough or stubbly and dumps me, than he probably wouldn't have been a good boyfriend anyways and I dodged a bullet?

 

 

 

 

Consensus be damned. Get yourself to a Dr. and get your problem taken care of.

Posted

Dealbreaker? Only if she used my last Mach 3 Turbo without asking!

  • Like 3
Posted (edited)

 

So the consensus on here is I should try to date and if a guy has a problem with my jawline or neck being kind of rough or stubbly and dumps me, than he probably wouldn't have been a good boyfriend anyways and I dodged a bullet?

 

It isn't by any means a consensus, but this is what I would say, yes. Because spironolactone for PCOS is purely a symptomatic treatment with no health/medical benefits aside from temporarily reducing hair growth/acne, it's hard for me to argue that anyone should definitely put themselves through that. This is one case where IMO the risks don't necessarily outweigh the benefits.

 

Why is your chin so stubbly if you shave daily though? Even men who shave daily are reasonably smooth, the rough stubble only appears after >24 hours. Are you using a good 4-blade razor?

Edited by Elswyth
Posted

If it's caused by a hormonal imbalance, then what she needs is to do a thorough hormone panel and probably at one of those bioidentical hormone specialists and then correct the problem hormonally. Meanwhile, I still think she should be doing laser. And not go to who she went to before. Listen, the whole Kardashian family was naturally super hairy and I'm sure they must have all done laser. There's also those nasty creme depilitories but they are so strong and nasty and not permanent, but they do make it smooth. If she absolutely won't try adjusting her hormones or doing laser, then she should go see an OLD barber and find out what he does to smooth out guys' faces.

Posted

Date a man with man boobs. Then when he points out the stubble on her face, she can point to his man boobs and say, "what's going on there, honey?"

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted
It isn't by any means a consensus, but this is what I would say, yes. Because spironolactone for PCOS is purely a symptomatic treatment with no health/medical benefits aside from temporarily reducing hair growth/acne, it's hard for me to argue that anyone should definitely put themselves through that. This is one case where IMO the risks don't necessarily outweigh the benefits.

 

Why is your chin so stubbly if you shave daily though? Even men who shave daily are reasonably smooth, the rough stubble only appears after >24 hours. Are you using a good 4-blade razor?

 

Well, it seemed like many said to just date and not let this hold me back. I may lose some guys over it or I may not. If I am close to a guy enough and they feel some roughness on my neck/jawline and dump me than I probably am better off without them anyway.

Spironolactone is not the answer. It has worked for some, but many said it didn't. They said it really only works when you combine it with Birth control pills, which I'm against. I just don't want to take medicine at the moment.

 

I use a small electric razor for woman, which does take the hair off, but does leave my jawline/neck kind of stubbly. You have to feel against my jawline to feel it though. The razor is similar to finishing touch, if any are familiar with that product. I don't want or feel I need a huge mens electric razor. My electric razor works good, but doesn't make my jawline smooth.

  • Author
Posted
If it's caused by a hormonal imbalance, then what she needs is to do a thorough hormone panel and probably at one of those bioidentical hormone specialists and then correct the problem hormonally. Meanwhile, I still think she should be doing laser. And not go to who she went to before. Listen, the whole Kardashian family was naturally super hairy and I'm sure they must have all done laser. There's also those nasty creme depilitories but they are so strong and nasty and not permanent, but they do make it smooth. If she absolutely won't try adjusting her hormones or doing laser, then she should go see an OLD barber and find out what he does to smooth out guys' faces.

 

Again, I don't want to go on medicine at the moment. Doctors put you on medicine, that's what they do. Many doctors and specialists don't even fully understand PCOS since hormones are complex and not the same for everyone.

 

I have had laser and it only took the hair off for like a month. It reduces it, but doesn't get rid of it for long since I have an hormonal imbalance. I also got headches from laser. Laser doesn't work for people who have PCOS. I mean it does, but not for long. The Kardashian family has facial/body hair because of their ethnicity, not because they have PCOS. Ethnicity induced hair can be cured by laser , but not hormonally caused hair.

I never understood what the big deal was with depilatories creams. They are messy and more time consuming than shaving and leave my face feeling the same as if I shaved.

haha, no way will I go into a barber shop and ask how they give a close shave, lol.

  • Author
Posted
Consensus be damned. Get yourself to a Dr. and get your problem taken care of.

 

Again, I don't want to go on medicine. Way too many side effects and problems when you start all that. I feel natural approaches and weight loss are better. If I get a bad side effect from the medicines, than I won't care anymore about my facial hair.

  • Author
Posted

I just thought most agreed on here that I should still try to date and not let this issue stop me. This may even help me weave through the shallow jerks if they dump me because of this. I do take care of my face so you wouldn't see any hair. However the only problem is if they feel it when we are fooling around and hopefully that's not the only thing they should be thinking about anyway ;)

×
×
  • Create New...