fitnessfan365 Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Fun if you can recognize when she's doing. It took me to about 30 to figure this out. That's a dozen years of adulthood I just didn't get it, couldn't even comprehend it. Guys would tell me this and I'd shake my head thinking they were mean and crazy. Little did I know. There's a lot of guys in jet96s boat, his age but some are 30,40, even 50 who haven't figured it out. Oh I'm definitely not disputing that it takes time and experience to pick up. When I was in high school I was friend zoned and rejected all the time. I didn't start doing well with women until my late 20's. But the problem with guys like Jet, is that they're unable to take a hard look at their own behavior. In his mind, everyone else is to blame and he's an innocent victim. However, until he stops making excuses, and changes his bad behavior, things won't change. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Sorry that's not a complete plan. Sure be nice, but if he doesn't create sexual energy he's going to be waiting a long time for a girlfriend. Creating sexual energy can't be ignored. sex is great...but it is not the major percentage of a good relationship...i am curious to how a guy creates sexual energy......one way i know that will get him the wrong type of woman....is by being cold and manipulative....he will find a like minded soul could be the one that is attracted...... warmth....genuity and unadulterated passion can be had by good guys..in fact i feel...true passion lies in kindness and everything good and for sure in good hearted honest men...as a good hearted guy that is honest, might not lead to a one night stand but it could possibly lead to a passionate honest loving relationship..... one thing i do know...sexual energy is not passion....and passion is what a guy should aim to have...not only passion about women and sex ...but his life in general.the world.......and the people around him...passion flows into sexual energy in the bedroom....where sexual energy honestly ...belongs.......deb Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 lol *takes notes I feel sometimes like men of my generation were failed by society. So many of us roaming around with no clue about what women want, what really turns them on or makes them feel attraction. No wonder there's so many threads kicking around with young men banging their heads against walls, not understanding what they're doing wrong. Curious, what's your generation? I'm 37 and wasn't taught any of these things either but I started figuring it all out around age 30. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 This is actually bad advice. If a guy treats a woman like his mom or his sister, he wouldn't want to sleep with her would he? But it is possible to act like a man and be playful/assertive while being a gentleman and caring about a woman. But walking on egg-shells, putting a woman on a pedestal, etc is why she'll feel no sexual attraction or want romance with the guy. treat a girl or a woman how you would expect your mum or sister to be treated in every way....i am sure most healthy intelligent adults know their parents or family members of legal age have a sex life.....i think every son or brother would hope his sister or mother was treated with respect when having sex, when dating and when in a relationship with another.....including a sexual one.... any woman you look at ...see them as someones daughter someones sister and treat them accordingly.....as you would want you and yours treated....how you yourself want to be treated..... nowhere did i say view your family member as a sexual object to prove sexual energy on or4 think about in a sexualised manner that would not be respectful or honorable now would it...... thats a bit freudian a view.a bit dark and twisted for the simple advice i gave...... ..my advice was sound, simple and true...i stick by it....and i disagree with your perspective on my advice...i dont believe anyone should view their mother or sister in a sexually suggestive manner...nor get that perspective from my advice...treatment of a person should always be respectful and honest.....if that is the way you would expect those you love and adore to be treated...it doesnt mean to envision your mum or sister in a sexual way....at all.........deb Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 but if i can't beat these A$$ Holes why not join them ? Well, off you go then. Join them. Do return and let us all know how it goes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jet96 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 sex is great...but it is not the major percentage of a good relationship...i am curious to how a guy creates sexual energy......one way i know that will get him the wrong type of woman....is by being cold and manipulative....he will find a like minded soul could be the one that is attracted...... warmth....genuity and unadulterated passion can be had by good guys..in fact i feel...true passion lies in kindness and everything good and for sure in good hearted honest men...as a good hearted guy that is honest, might not lead to a one night stand but it could possibly lead to a passionate honest loving relationship..... one thing i do know...sexual energy is not passion....and passion is what a guy should aim to have...not only passion about women and sex ...but his life in general.the world.......and the people around him...passion flows into sexual energy in the bedroom....where sexual energy honestly ...belongs.......deb Those girls are hard to find and they are the one that get manipulated Being nice and kind hearted could be too much for them too. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Haha. Of course you do. That is what makes male and female interaction so much fun. A woman secretly loves a guy that's playful and masculine, as she tries to deny it on the surface. Meanwhile she's biting her lower lip and trying to ignore the fact that her panties are soaked. Actually hon this is one time you would get a broken nose... The rest is fine but the smack on the butt would lead to a smack on the nose from me... Jet 96. Grow a pair. You don't have to be an arse. You have to be confident in who you are, have standards and stick by them. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 If you have the skills/game to do that why not? Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Curious, what's your generation? I'm 37 and wasn't taught any of these things either but I started figuring it all out around age 30. 36 here. Remember going through all that SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy) crap in the 80's/90's. I remember saying to a female friend of mine, who'd been complaining about the quality of men she was meeting. Her: "Where are all the good men these days?" Me: "Just where do you think they come from? Who's raising these boys up to become the kind of men women want?" I honestly believe there is so much hostility between the sexes these days. We're drawn into being in relationships with one another. It's instinct. We just seem to have lost ourselves somewhere along the path. It all feels so much more complicated than it should be these days... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 It all feels so much more complicated than it should be these days... Oh God I agree... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Why the sarcasm? Obviously you're individuals. I don't think many people truly understand what he's going through, unless they've struggle like he did. What is see is some people trying to help, but a lot of sarcasm which may be confusing him even more. Bigguy I agree with you. 100%. What people are failing to "get" here is that Jet is 18, and the *girls* he is trying to attract are teenagers! What teenage *girls* respond positively to are NOT the same things a *woman* in her 20's, 30's and beyond would respond to. So can we please just stop with all the advice about butt-smacking and ****, it takes a very experienced man to pull that off and have that "work*. Jet, I give you a lot of credit... you are incredibly perceptive and you see how your friends get the girls (by treating them poorly), so naturally you are going to assume you should do the same for YOU to get the girl too. You could try that, but frankly I don't think YOU would would ultimately be happy behaving that way. It's just not you, you are more sensitive than that, you are a writer, a poet!! Own who you are, and do not try to be something you are not. Also, when you first start liking a girl, DON'T be a jerk, but don't go overboard either by giving her poems and shyt..it is TOO soon for that, and most (not all) girls will think it's creepy. Make your sensitive personality "work" for YOU. You are quiet, sensitive, contemplative, introspective. Those qualities can be very intriguing and "mysterious," to many girls, even teenage girls! So own those qualities and make them work for you! I am also very sensitive and introspective, and even as a teenager I NEVER responded to boys who acted like your jerky friends. I much preferred the quieter boys who had an air of "mystery" about them. The deep thinkers, intelligent, contemplative. They didn't say a lot, but when they did, I listened! So did many other girls. They were a little mysterious and all the girls were trying to figure him out. Teenage girls love that!!! Trying to figure a guy out. Much better than the jerk who manipulates and treats them like crap. Girls might think the jerk is cool at first, but they won't stay with him in the long term, guaranteed! When you finally meet that special girl you know is different from the rest, "then" you can start sending her your poems...and she will love them. But that takes time, so be patient. And again, own who you are and what YOU have to offer and make it work for you. Don't try too hard as that can turns girls off. You will get there Jet, NOT without many growing pains along the way though...which can actually be a good thing as making mistakes is how we learn and grow! Good luck!!! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Well, at least don't complain if a girl with a similar attitude crosses your path. "Who cares if it's his child or my lovers, he won't be the wiser and will love it anyway" Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Phenomenal post up above by Katiegrl (good job superstar!). Especially the part about mystery. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve, don't give them your whole autobiography. Girls who like you want to learn everything about you, but dole it out piece-by piece, and let them ask you first. Like Hollywood's formula for movies, always leave them wanting more. Playing hard to get doubles attraction. If they learn everything about you before they fall in love, the party is over. On the one hand, you want to be a gentleman and be gracious and respectful to a lady. On the other hand, you want to banter with them and be playful. Like the song by Cindi Lauper, Girls Just Want To Have Fun. Watch Carry Grant in the movies To Catch A Thief and Charade. Give no poems, flowers, or other gifts, and don't talk about the future or future dates for the first two months. However, for the girls the age of the original poster, one thing is different - you can throw in some cuss words from time to time for best results. Sorry, but they truly are little girls and have no class... little thumb-suckers! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 A guy should treat a woman with RESPECT and CONSIDERATION - the same exact way that he'd like to be treated. "Sexual energy"? If a guy that I didn't know and was on a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc. date with and he tried to cross the line with me so he can create this so-called "sexual energy" by acting inappropriately or assuming that he can have his way with me if he acts "alpha", he most likely would find himself with a black eye, a busted lip or missing half of his balls. The guy has to treat the woman he's dating with 100% RESPECT and he has to learn to pick up cues from her as to whether she's COMFORTABLE enough with him to RECEIVE his "sexual energy" in a positive way. We women know that all most guys are interested in is "getting laid". Duh. We just hope that the guy we choose to date is intelligent enough and respectful enough to treat us with the same respect and consideration that they would want some other guy to treat their sister or mother with. Todreaminblue totally nailed it with her post, even though another poster felt it was "bad advice". It was only "bad advice" because this poster thought that the guy in question wouldn't have any chance of "getting laid" by treating a woman he was dating with RESPECT and CONSIDERATION and *without* thinking with his d!ck on the first few early dates. A guy being a "nice, respectful and decent guy" doesn't mean that most women will disrespect him or will "friendzone" him or won't spread their legs for him. What that kind of positive and respectful behavior will garner the OP (or any guy in the dating game) are respectable, intelligent and decent women who will feel comfortable around him enough to RECEIVE his flirtatious advances when they see what a respectable guy he is. A guy can still behave in a "masculine" way without getting all trippy with disrespectful "alpha" behavior. Sure, there are some (or maybe even a LOT) of women out there who like to be treated in a disrespectful, vulgar and inappropriate manner. But, any woman who respects herself, who is intelligent and who has integrity wouldn't give a "man" like that the time of day. Of course, this is just my opinion. I'm sure every guy on here will disagree with me, but that's okay...it doesn't matter. OP, I sincerely hope you choose to take the high road with regard to the way you treat each woman you take out on a date - whether she treats you with respect or not. When a man has self-respect, integrity and decency, he will eventually run into a woman who will cherish that, respect it and will want to be with him because of it. Good luck, OP. . - Another great post. Women today want a gentleman with an edge.... not the bad boy, and not the nice guy wimp. In the beginning, all you have to do is be a gentleman, be respectful, banter with her, ask for the number, the dates, and go for the first kiss. That's the "meat" of it. If the woman is a sane, nice girl who digs you, the rest will fall into place. One thing is for sure, where women are concerned... nothing will happen until she's ready and is attracted to you. and if you do the above and she likes you, don't worry about sex - when she's ready, you will know, there will be no doubt! Relationships are primarily a woman's game. Men just go along for the ride (so don't feel bad when you strike out)! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blade96 Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 (edited) It seems to work for him because he is 18 and generally girls in this age range are silly little immature beings who don't really understand all yet. That's why it seems to work for him or his friends. I have a male fb friend in the same boat. He's about 27, (and a sort of player too and he notices that the same thing happens with girls in his age range for dating (34 or so) They seem to like and get with jerks. I told him that's the problem. They're all young! I told him - and he notices this too - the older they get, the less they like jerks. I told him I am almost 37, and people tend to mature from that as they get older. My friend always wondered how come he couldn't get a meaningful relationship, and this is why. I also informed him that nice guy doesn't equal doormat. You can set good healthy boundaries for yourself, and still be a wonderful person. The two are not the same thing. Edited April 27, 2015 by Blade96 Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Manipulation takes much effort... Why don't you use all that grey matter to do something fun for both you and your date? This can actually make you happy. Link to post Share on other sites
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