Author Jet96 Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 I finally agree with you on something. Female friends and mothers are never honest about the type of men they're actually attracted to. They all talk about white knights who put them on pedestals, and have a Disney movie mentality. So guys that try to emulate that, kiss women's asses, try way too hard, and ultimately get friend zoned. Years ago my mom says to me "You're such a ladies man now and you never dated when you were younger. What changed?" My response "I stopped taking your advice". After all, gentleman ends in "man" for a reason. It doesn't mean an overly sensitive feminine wuss. However, that doesn't mean that you have to manipulate women and treat them like crap either. Develop a backbone to call women on their crap when appropriate. Be playful and tease women treating them like people. State your opinions. For example. She looks at you and says 'The sky is red" Nice Guy Wuss - Wow, you're right. It's like we're on Mars or something. Gentleman With Balls - "For a woman with such beautiful eyes, you sure are blind as a bat. It's blue you silly woman". Then he'd kiss her, and give her a smack on the butt for being silly. ** Combining actual personality, a bit of cocky confidence, and the ability to act like a man, with treating well in general is what will make you desirable. You seem to have a point . 1
losangelena Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Gentleman With Balls - "For a woman with such beautiful eyes, you sure are blind as a bat. It's blue you silly woman". Then he'd kiss her, and give her a smack on the butt for being silly. +10 points for the butt smack. I love it when my BF does that, even if I pretend to be offended. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 +10 points for the butt smack. I love it when my BF does that, even if I pretend to be offended. Haha. Of course you do. That is what makes male and female interaction so much fun. A woman secretly loves a guy that's playful and masculine, as she tries to deny it on the surface. Meanwhile she's biting her lower lip and trying to ignore the fact that her panties are soaked. 1
neowulf Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 +10 points for the butt smack. I love it when my BF does that, even if I pretend to be offended. lol *takes notes I feel sometimes like men of my generation were failed by society. So many of us roaming around with no clue about what women want, what really turns them on or makes them feel attraction. No wonder there's so many threads kicking around with young men banging their heads against walls, not understanding what they're doing wrong. 1
elaine567 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 You seem to have a point . But don't go around making a habit of smacking woman's butts, you could end up being arrested or punched in the mouth. Only smack the butts of women you know well and who you are in a relationship with. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 lol *takes notes I feel sometimes like men of my generation were failed by society. So many of us roaming around with no clue about what women want, what really turns them on or makes them feel attraction. No wonder there's so many threads kicking around with young men banging their heads against walls, not understanding what they're doing wrong. I could seriously write a thesis on "nice guy syndrome" talking about cause and effect, as well as a woman's definition and a man's reality. It really is a shame that more men don't know how to act like men. Things are so ass-backward that genuine masculine behavior gets called "misogynistic" while those same over progressive feminists reject the same "gender friendly" men they claim to want. There are so many conflicting emotions and desires that it's a big mess. 4
Bigguy7 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 I have been told by my female friends and mother ever since i was interested into not to do this but it is a very very bad thing to do especially to young girl but now i think its dumb she told me not to im 18 never been kissed never had a girlfriend and still a virgin i see left and right guys do that and are far higher level in the dating game from average looking regular guys (who were lucky enough not to be told thats wrong) to players who do this all the time to get girls and the have done all the things that i haven't. What i have been told what girls like are wrong i.e always be chivalrous ,do not curse around her or too her, always open the door for her compliment her , and most of all DO NOT play with thier feelings and emotions none of that is working im not a guy that is just looking for sex i just want a committed relationship with a girl . and if its so bad why does it work they might get hurt but they go back to those guys or guys just like them its clearly thats what the want we live in a really shallow world i really dont want to but if i can't beat these A$$ Holes why not join them ? Hi there Jet96. Most of you are missing his point. Jet96. Be nice when they earn it. If she's nice to you, be nice back. If she isn't nice to you don't be nice to her. Some of them curse, if they curse a bit you can too. It's the same with emotions. Don't try and trick her into something, but it's perfectly fine to make the mood sexual if she's open to it. Call it what you will. What I'm saying is there's so much in between being nice even if she doesn't deserve it and being the jerk. Go for the in between. You're just 18 so you got time to figure out what the optimal in between will be. Don't worry if you upset some over sensitive girls when trying.
Bigguy7 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 +10 points for the butt smack. I love it when my BF does that, even if I pretend to be offended. No wonder Jet96 is confused when he reads this. This confused me for the longest time. Girls telling me not to do something but secretly liking it and even pursuing guys who do it. This my friends is why the advice, just be perfectly nice is terrible advice. Just be a jerk all the time is just as terrible. 1
todreaminblue Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Treat a girl ...or better yet treat women and girls how you would want your mother treated or your sister and you wont go wrong...if someone is horrible to you you dont treat them badly back....that includes manipulation...you walk away ...self respect intact then you go find the woman who treats you well to be with..to me that is a plan for happiness.....not unhappiness...good luck....deb 2
fitnessfan365 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 No wonder Jet96 is confused when he reads this. This confused me for the longest time. Girls telling me not to do something but secretly liking it and even pursuing guys who do it. This my friends is why the advice, just be perfectly nice is terrible advice. Just be a jerk all the time is just as terrible. The fact that you consider playful interaction being a "jerk" shows why you still just don't get it man. Women like a guy that is masculine, playful, and assertive. But it all depends on the context and the relationship. Notice how she said "I secretly love it when my BF does it". She's not saying she wants some random stranger to smack her ass. It's because she's attracted to him and feels safe with him, that she lets her guard down and wants to be feminine. But you obviously have to build that dynamic first. A woman's version of "nice" is completely different then what a man thinks "nice" means. I know that it seems counter-intuitive, but you have to retrain your way of thinking and not view it as "jerk" behavior. It's a form of foreplay between two people that are romantic. 3
Bigguy7 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Treat a girl ...or better yet treat women and girls how you would want your mother treated or your sister and you wont go wrong...if someone is horrible to you you dont treat them badly back....that includes manipulation...you walk away ...self respect intact then you go find the woman who treats you well to be with..to me that is a plan for happiness.....not unhappiness...good luck....deb Sorry that's not a complete plan. Sure be nice, but if he doesn't create sexual energy he's going to be waiting a long time for a girlfriend. Creating sexual energy can't be ignored.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Treat a girl ...or better yet treat women and girls how you would want your mother treated or your sister and you wont go wrong...if someone is horrible to you you dont treat them badly back....that includes manipulation...you walk away ...self respect intact then you go find the woman who treats you well to be with..to me that is a plan for happiness.....not unhappiness...good luck....deb This is actually bad advice. If a guy treats a woman like his mom or his sister, he wouldn't want to sleep with her would he? But it is possible to act like a man and be playful/assertive while being a gentleman and caring about a woman. But walking on egg-shells, putting a woman on a pedestal, etc is why she'll feel no sexual attraction or want romance with the guy.
losangelena Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Exactly. I would not be comfortable with a man I don't know smacking my butt. But when my boyfriend of seven months does it, it's cute and flirty and makes me feel girly (no mean feat). 1
Bigguy7 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 The fact that you consider playful interaction being a "jerk" shows why you still just don't get it man. Women like a guy that is masculine, playful, and assertive. But it all depends on the context and the relationship. Notice how she said "I secretly love it when my BF does it". She's not saying she wants some random stranger to smack her ass. It's because she's attracted to him and feels safe with him, that she lets her guard down and wants to be feminine. But you obviously have to build that dynamic first. A woman's version of "nice" is completely different then what a man thinks "nice" means. I know that it seems counter-intuitive, but you have to retrain your way of thinking and not view it as "jerk" behavior. It's a form of foreplay between two people that are romantic. Read more carefully. I *used* to consider playful interaction as being a jerk because I thought that it meant being a jerk. Figuring out the appropriate context wasn't easy to learn and I had to learn through trial and error. I missed out on opportunities on one hand and on the other hand I freaked some more sensitive girls out. Everything you say is true, but took me forever to figure that out and could take Jet96 quite awhile to figure out too. Appreciate that it isn't that easy. 2
Bigguy7 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Exactly. I would not be comfortable with a man I don't know smacking my butt. But when my boyfriend of seven months does it, it's cute and flirty and makes me feel girly (no mean feat). Girls are very different on this. I've come across some girls who actually like it from strangers, while others wouldn't ever want it done. Figuring this out is immensely difficult for some guys, especially some younger inexperienced guys.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Exactly. I would not be comfortable with a man I don't know smacking my butt. But when my boyfriend of seven months does it, it's cute and flirty and makes me feel girly (no mean feat). EXACTLY. Women want to feel desired and feminine with a man they trust. For me personally, I'm very selective on who I date. So I'm able to size up what type of woman she is pretty quickly in terms of feminine, or progressive feminist, etc.. There is a certain type of body language and how a woman carries herself. So with that said, any woman I date is going to be the feminine, girly type that appreciates a man acting like one. If I'm on a first date with a woman and it ends in a good night kiss, I'll pretend to leave and then say "I'm not done with you yet". Then I act a bit more dominant with her and after the second kiss I say "Now you can go" and I gently smack her butt with a playful grin. This gets a giggle EVERY TIME. Now to the typical "nice guy" this may seem like I'm being an a-hole. But if I spend the whole night with a woman, and there's chemistry, it's because she's attracted to who I am at my core. A gentleman that's also a bit playful and cocky. If she didn't want that type of guy, she'd never go out with me in the first place. So that's how I know how to proceed and handle myself. But obviously, if the chemistry isn't there and she's showing obvious signs of dis-interest, I'm not going to kiss her. Like I said before, it's all about the context, interaction, and having the balls to act when appropriate.
elaine567 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Girls are very different on this. I've come across some girls who actually like it from strangers, while others wouldn't ever want it done. Figuring this out is immensely difficult for some guys, especially some younger inexperienced guys. Big surprise there, women are actually individuals. 4
fitnessfan365 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Big surprise there, women are actually individuals. Haha.. :laugh: Fiery women that have a sarcastic, smart ass personality are the most fun to be around. 1
Bigguy7 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Haha. Of course you do. That is what makes male and female interaction so much fun. A woman secretly loves a guy that's playful and masculine, as she tries to deny it on the surface. Meanwhile she's biting her lower lip and trying to ignore the fact that her panties are soaked. Fun if you can recognize when she's doing. It took me to about 30 to figure this out. That's a dozen years of adulthood I just didn't get it, couldn't even comprehend it. Guys would tell me this and I'd shake my head thinking they were mean and crazy. Little did I know. There's a lot of guys in jet96s boat, his age but some are 30,40, even 50 who haven't figured it out.
Bigguy7 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Big surprise there, women are actually individuals. Why the sarcasm? Obviously you're individuals. I don't think many people truly understand what he's going through, unless they've struggle like he did. What is see is some people trying to help, but a lot of sarcasm which may be confusing him even more.
Bigguy7 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 Haha.. :laugh: Fiery women that have a sarcastic, smart ass personality are the most fun to be around. Guys are individuals just as much. I can enjoy some sarcasm but I'm just not into it quite like you are, and I'm certainly not into it when giving advice to a guy who may not understand all the sarcasm.
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 A guy should treat a woman with RESPECT and CONSIDERATION - the same exact way that he'd like to be treated. "Sexual energy"? If a guy that I didn't know and was on a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc. date with and he tried to cross the line with me so he can create this so-called "sexual energy" by acting inappropriately or assuming that he can have his way with me if he acts "alpha", he most likely would find himself with a black eye, a busted lip or missing half of his balls. The guy has to treat the woman he's dating with 100% RESPECT and he has to learn to pick up cues from her as to whether she's COMFORTABLE enough with him to RECEIVE his "sexual energy" in a positive way. We women know that all most guys are interested in is "getting laid". Duh. We just hope that the guy we choose to date is intelligent enough and respectful enough to treat us with the same respect and consideration that they would want some other guy to treat their sister or mother with. Todreaminblue totally nailed it with her post, even though another poster felt it was "bad advice". It was only "bad advice" because this poster thought that the guy in question wouldn't have any chance of "getting laid" by treating a woman he was dating with RESPECT and CONSIDERATION and *without* thinking with his d!ck on the first few early dates. A guy being a "nice, respectful and decent guy" doesn't mean that most women will disrespect him or will "friendzone" him or won't spread their legs for him. What that kind of positive and respectful behavior will garner the OP (or any guy in the dating game) are respectable, intelligent and decent women who will feel comfortable around him enough to RECEIVE his flirtatious advances when they see what a respectable guy he is. A guy can still behave in a "masculine" way without getting all trippy with disrespectful "alpha" behavior. Sure, there are some (or maybe even a LOT) of women out there who like to be treated in a disrespectful, vulgar and inappropriate manner. But, any woman who respects herself, who is intelligent and who has integrity wouldn't give a "man" like that the time of day. Of course, this is just my opinion. I'm sure every guy on here will disagree with me, but that's okay...it doesn't matter. OP, I sincerely hope you choose to take the high road with regard to the way you treat each woman you take out on a date - whether she treats you with respect or not. When a man has self-respect, integrity and decency, he will eventually run into a woman who will cherish that, respect it and will want to be with him because of it. Good luck, OP. . 2
Bigguy7 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 (edited) A guy should treat a woman with RESPECT and CONSIDERATION - the same exact way that he'd like to be treated. "Sexual energy"? If a guy that I didn't know and was on a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc. date with and he tried to cross the line with me so he can create this so-called "sexual energy" by acting inappropriately or assuming that he can have his way with me if he acts "alpha", he most likely would find himself with a black eye, a busted lip or missing half of his balls. The guy has to treat the woman he's dating with 100% RESPECT and he has to learn to pick up cues from her as to whether she's COMFORTABLE enough with him to RECEIVE his "sexual energy" in a positive way. We women know that all most guys are interested in is "getting laid". Duh. We just hope that the guy we choose to date is intelligent enough and respectful enough to treat us with the same respect and consideration that they would want some other guy to treat their sister or mother with. Todreaminblue totally nailed it with her post, even though another poster felt it was "bad advice". It was only "bad advice" because this poster thought that the guy in question wouldn't have any chance of "getting laid" by treating a woman he was dating with RESPECT and CONSIDERATION and *without* thinking with his d!ck on the first few early dates. A guy being a "nice, respectful and decent guy" doesn't mean that most women will disrespect him or will "friendzone" him or won't spread their legs for him. What that kind of positive and respectful behavior will garner the OP (or any guy in the dating game) are respectable, intelligent and decent women who will feel comfortable around him enough to RECEIVE his flirtatious advances when they see what a respectable guy he is. A guy can still behave in a "masculine" way without getting all trippy with disrespectful "alpha" behavior. Sure, there are some (or maybe even a LOT) of women out there who like to be treated in a disrespectful, vulgar and inappropriate manner. But, any woman who respects herself, who is intelligent and who has integrity wouldn't give a "man" like that the time of day. Of course, this is just my opinion. I'm sure every guy on here will disagree with me, but that's okay...it doesn't matter. OP, I sincerely hope you choose to take the high road with regard to the way you treat each woman you take out on a date - whether she treats you with respect or not. When a man has self-respect, integrity and decency, he will eventually run into a woman who will cherish that, respect it and will want to be with him because of it. Good luck, OP. . I partially disagree because just being nice and respectful *never ever* landed me a girlfriend in many years. Not once. What it did get me was "I had a good time. Thank you so much for taking me out. However I'm not interested in going out again. I would love to be friends." Creating sexual energy isn't sticking my hand in your blouse or anything of that sort. It starts with playful flirting. Playful flirting has produced results for me. There's a balance and finding that sweet spot leads to success. I'll correct you on another point. More guys than not want more than just getting laid. Edited April 15, 2015 by Bigguy7
Bigguy7 Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 (edited) A guy like Jet96 who isn't an expert at picking up cues is going to have to learn by trial and error. If he never takes a risk he's not going to succeed. A failed risk may result in a sensitive girl being mad at him, but so be it. The quality of advice he's gotten from some of the more sarcastic postings in downright appalling. Edited April 15, 2015 by Bigguy7
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