Popsicle Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Anyone ever have a MM that continued to chase after he had a Dday in his M? Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 So my question is why? Why break NC with someone who has requested to be left alone to try and heal? And then when they do break it, its with nothing but crumbs, nothing worth breaking the NC for...It's annoying and I'm glad I blocked him. I actually explained this in an earlier post. It is just crumbs. And it's precisely meant so that you don't heal, to get under your skin and exercise power in the breakup. Your power is in blocking and ignoring it. Don't let him get under your skin. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author goodgirlgonebad15 Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 Thanks for the support everyone. It's been over a week NC for me. exMM hasnt broken NC since the other day. That's a good thing, I know. It's also a relief to not have to see if he left any messages since he is blocked. But I can't seem to get rid of that nagging little voice in the back of my head that tells me "see he isn't even trying that hard to get in contact with you, see one little try and he just gives up, he never cared". I know those thoughts are irrational but they still suck Does anyone have any good tips for detaching or getting rid of those thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
lookingforclosure Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Thanks for the support everyone. It's been over a week NC for me. exMM hasnt broken NC since the other day. That's a good thing, I know. It's also a relief to not have to see if he left any messages since he is blocked. But I can't seem to get rid of that nagging little voice in the back of my head that tells me "see he isn't even trying that hard to get in contact with you, see one little try and he just gives up, he never cared". I know those thoughts are irrational but they still suck Does anyone have any good tips for detaching or getting rid of those thoughts? I wish I did...mine blocked me. He never has broken NC and it's been 3 months...that little voice inside my head says the same thing. He dropped me so easily, blocked and deleted me...he apparently never loved me. I know how you feel...I wish he wasn't the first thing I thought about when I wake up...mornings are so hard 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronnie33 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Thanks for the support everyone. It's been over a week NC for me. exMM hasnt broken NC since the other day. That's a good thing, I know. It's also a relief to not have to see if he left any messages since he is blocked. But I can't seem to get rid of that nagging little voice in the back of my head that tells me "see he isn't even trying that hard to get in contact with you, see one little try and he just gives up, he never cared". I know those thoughts are irrational but they still suck Does anyone have any good tips for detaching or getting rid of those thoughts? I feel like that but then I tell myself that I asked for it as if he breaks it where does that get me? I'll feel better for a minute and then we'll go right back to the same thing and I'll be back to feeling bad again. I want to move forward, not backward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Confused48 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 OP, you said very early on, any new guy approaching you would be rejected immediately. Why do you resist the most likely way to get over the MM? I'm not saying throw yourself at strange men and hope one becomes a soul mate but be open to others. Date. Get out there and live life and soon your mind will not have time for thoughts about an old MM. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Does anyone have any good tips for detaching or getting rid of those thoughts? Any tips? How about your own words... "See he isn't even trying that hard to get in contact with you, see one little try and he just gives up, he never cared". If he really felt bad, if he was ready to give you that apology that justifies breaking NC, he knows how to contact you outside of email, FB or phone. He's not willing to go through any effort so he's not worth the time worrying over. He never cared, why should you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author goodgirlgonebad15 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 OP, you said very early on, any new guy approaching you would be rejected immediately. Why do you resist the most likely way to get over the MM? I'm not saying throw yourself at strange men and hope one becomes a soul mate but be open to others. Date. Get out there and live life and soon your mind will not have time for thoughts about an old MM. I do agree but when I made that comment about turning guys away, I was responding to a poster who was stating how unhealthy it would be for me to enter into a new relationship with MM as a friend. I guess I just meant I wanted to focus on myself and get healthy for my next relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goodgirlgonebad15 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Any tips? How about your own words... If he really felt bad, if he was ready to give you that apology that justifies breaking NC, he knows how to contact you outside of email, FB or phone. He's not willing to go through any effort so he's not worth the time worrying over. He never cared, why should you?[/QUOTE] I am sure you are right. But I am actually very happy he doesn't know where my new permenant office is located and he has no idea where I live. I would not like him to pop up at any of these places, so I feel relief. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goodgirlgonebad15 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 So I spoke too soon the other day about exMM not breaking NC anymore. He made yet another page on the social media site and liked my most recent pictures again. I know it is only breadcrumbs so I blocked the page. I am not going to give him a reaction or unblock him so he can message me. I will block every single page he makes if I have to. Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Remember this... A 'like' on a photo is not an apology. It's just another breadcrumb to get under your skin. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author goodgirlgonebad15 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Remember this... A 'like' on a photo is not an apology. It's just another breadcrumb to get under your skin. I know you are right. I just don't understand the point of getting under my skin, to get under someone's skin is to annoy them. I don't understand wanting to annoy me... Link to post Share on other sites
Author goodgirlgonebad15 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 So exMM made another fake page over a week ago and I just left it. I didn't block it, I didn't do anything, just left it and let him like whatever pictures he wanted to. I haven't reached out to him, but I would be lying if I said knowing he is looking at my page didnt make me feel better. Like i wasn't just completely thrown out and forgot about. Is this what my self esteem is reduced to?? Feeling better over picture likes?? I feel pathetic. I feel like an idiot that just can't rip the bandaid off. I've been overthinking waaay too much and now I don't see any power in blocking/going NC with him. I feel like I have no power either way, I just lose. It also sucks when they don't respect NC, it just makes you feel like no matter what you do, they will always see you as some weak being that doesn't deserve any form of respect. I'm probably exaggerating but I do feel this way. Sorry for the vent, I just feel emotional and dumb today Link to post Share on other sites
the_artist_1970 Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 So exMM made another fake page over a week ago and I just left it. I didn't block it, I didn't do anything, just left it and let him like whatever pictures he wanted to. I haven't reached out to him, but I would be lying if I said knowing he is looking at my page didnt make me feel better. Like i wasn't just completely thrown out and forgot about. Is this what my self esteem is reduced to?? Feeling better over picture likes?? I feel pathetic. I feel like an idiot that just can't rip the bandaid off. I've been overthinking waaay too much and now I don't see any power in blocking/going NC with him. I feel like I have no power either way, I just lose. It also sucks when they don't respect NC, it just makes you feel like no matter what you do, they will always see you as some weak being that doesn't deserve any form of respect. I'm probably exaggerating but I do feel this way. Sorry for the vent, I just feel emotional and dumb today Send him a message and tell him you are going to tell his W if he keeps contacting you. That will make him run away like the wind. He does still have a wife doesn't he? Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 So exMM made another fake page over a week ago and I just left it. I didn't block it, I didn't do anything, just left it and let him like whatever pictures he wanted to. I haven't reached out to him, but I would be lying if I said knowing he is looking at my page didnt make me feel better. Like i wasn't just completely thrown out and forgot about. Is this what my self esteem is reduced to?? Feeling better over picture likes?? I feel pathetic. I feel like an idiot that just can't rip the bandaid off. I've been overthinking waaay too much and now I don't see any power in blocking/going NC with him. I feel like I have no power either way, I just lose. It also sucks when they don't respect NC, it just makes you feel like no matter what you do, they will always see you as some weak being that doesn't deserve any form of respect. I'm probably exaggerating but I do feel this way. Sorry for the vent, I just feel emotional and dumb today I can relate to what you're going through, TripleGB. It's easy for me to see this, from the outside, but here's what I see: He is not your friend. This is not what friendship is about. What he is doing is all about him. He is continuing to throw you these bread crumblets to serve his own purposes. This has nothing to do with you. He is hoping to maintain some kind of connection so he can keep the door open. And it's not because he might separate from his wife and want to have a real relationship with you. It's because he will tire of "trying" with her at some point and will want to circle back around to you for more. I agree that it doesn't matter at this point whether the feelings were real or whether he really cared about you. He made a choice. Now he is trying to avoid the consequences of his choice. In this case, the consequences are that he loses you from his life. that hurts you--believe me I get it--but you can now set about healing yourself and finding something that will really feed your soul. Not crumbs, but a full nourishing meal. It may also hurt him to lose you, so he is trying to avoid the pain. Right now, he is left with working on a relationship that he has neglected, violated, and taken for granted. That doesn't sound like much fun, does it? One other thought...you may not be the only person he contacts through that "fake page." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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