Ruby65 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 I have been in strict No contact for 3 months. I think she has had time to " Not have me around " 3 months is nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 Hi, I've just read your thread and I personally think your ex is interested, she's just been thrown off balance by the coolness you're rightly so displaying. Her little questions about girlfriends are not a joke despite the 'lols' she's throwing in here and there, I think she thought you'd be more receptive and welcoming so she's unsure of how you feel. The message you sent her was fine but I think it will have bruised her ego a bit so she will take her time to respond. Take your time and play it cool and only reply to solid questions, don't get into the conversations that get you nowhere. Let us know how it goes:) Thankyou very much, really broke it down and made me understand deeper intentions. Like her using "lol" as a escape to not look totally serious when she is! She saw the message 2 hours ago, hasn't responded like you said yet, ( if ever ) So there's a little update... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 3 months is nothing. Oh Ruby Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Oh Ruby Seriously -- how young are you that three months feels like a huge amount of time? Your ex hasn't had time to miss you. She's barely had time to notice you're gone! You might feel like there's this huge chasm of contact..... for her, it felt like two weeks. You know how there's dog years and human years? That's how it is for dumpers: three months for you is just two weeks for her. Her messaging and flirting means NOTHING..... she's happy to have you still on the backburner as a Plan B option, that's all. It flatters her and helps her feel less lonely.... while she looks for her next boyfriend. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 Seriously -- how young are you that three months feels like a huge amount of time? Your ex hasn't had time to miss you. She's barely had time to notice you're gone! You might feel like there's this huge chasm of contact..... for her, it felt like two weeks. You know how there's dog years and human years? That's how it is for dumpers: three months for you is just two weeks for her. Her messaging and flirting means NOTHING..... she's happy to have you still on the backburner as a Plan B option, that's all. It flatters her and helps her feel less lonely.... while she looks for her next boyfriend. I said "oh ruby" as I knew you would reply again, I didn't state it meant that it wasn't a long or short amount of time! And thankyou! I value your opinion as always. But you really need to put "In my personal opinion" as what you put maybe be true in most cases but it's certainly not set in stone. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
HollowSea Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Sorry man, but I think Ruby is right. I know you're pining for this and all, but really your ex made the decision not to be with you. You don't owe her anything not even a text message. Your last text was good stick with it and ignore her. Right now this is a game, I think you have a good chance of getting her back by the way she's acting if you DON'T keep texting her. Eventually these little texts you keep sending her are going to show her your hand. You don't want that. Seriously let her come to you because as soon as you start talking too much, (you already are getting there) she's going to get what she wants. A reaction. Solace in her decision. And an ego boost. You're a good looking guy go find some other girl to talk to in the meantime. Who knows by the time she finally says she wants you back you might even be against it altogether. Easier said than done. But trust me Ruby is just trying to look out for you. Tough love man. Just go no contact longer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 14, 2015 Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 Sorry man, but I think Ruby is right. I know you're pining for this and all, but really your ex made the decision not to be with you. You don't owe her anything not even a text message. Your last text was good stick with it and ignore her. Right now this is a game, I think you have a good chance of getting her back by the way she's acting if you DON'T keep texting her. Eventually these little texts you keep sending her are going to show her your hand. You don't want that. Seriously let her come to you because as soon as you start talking too much, (you already are getting there) she's going to get what she wants. A reaction. Solace in her decision. And an ego boost. You're a good looking guy go find some other girl to talk to in the meantime. Who knows by the time she finally says she wants you back you might even be against it altogether. Easier said than done. But trust me Ruby is just trying to look out for you. Tough love man. Just go no contact longer. Thankyou man for your reply and time! I know ruby is probably right and it's tough love, it's just I'm gettin annoyed at my ex and takin it out on people I guess, just seems what she's doing is so immature! She threw breadcrumbs after 1 month that I ignored, just to crack and message me all this for nothing. But like I said, it's not the end of the world if I don't get her back, it would be nice to try again but I'm not going to cry over it! She hasn't replied to the message and I don't think she will tbh, I'll stick no contact again and see what happens! Why do you think I may have a good chance of maybe getting her back if I was to continue no contact after the way she's been acting? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 14, 2015 Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 24 hrs and no reply! Starting to think that she won't ever reply like I stated before. But it is a big message to think and respond too! Not really feeling that upset, just more annoyed she seemed to do this for no reason and to play childish games! Just thought I'll give an update and maybe get other opinions as I like to talk about it! "Silence speaks louder than words!" Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Thankyou man for your reply and time! I know ruby is probably right and it's tough love, it's just I'm gettin annoyed at my ex and takin it out on people I guess, just seems what she's doing is so immature! She threw breadcrumbs after 1 month that I ignored, just to crack and message me all this for nothing. But like I said, it's not the end of the world if I don't get her back, it would be nice to try again but I'm not going to cry over it! She hasn't replied to the message and I don't think she will tbh, I'll stick no contact again and see what happens! Why do you think I may have a good chance of maybe getting her back if I was to continue no contact after the way she's been acting? It's not a good chance, but by not replying, you are giving her a chance to miss you. And if she has a chance to miss you, then there's more of a chance to reconsider. When you reply like you were doing, she can't miss you because you never go away. And there's no need for her to try to get you back because she can get you in small doses whenever she wants when you keep responding. You said your peace. The ball is in her court now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 14, 2015 Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 It's not a good chance, but by not replying, you are giving her a chance to miss you. And if she has a chance to miss you, then there's more of a chance to reconsider. When you reply like you were doing, she can't miss you because you never go away. And there's no need for her to try to get you back because she can get you in small doses whenever she wants when you keep responding. You said your peace. The ball is in her court now. Surly she was missing me to contact me first? Or what you mean is now shes showing signs of interest to leave her now would make it more? When i replied to her it was always a day or so afterwards, She replied quite quickly, so i wasn't replying 24/7 etc Do you think she has to reply? or is there a chance she just wont? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Surly she was missing me to contact me first? Or what you mean is now shes showing signs of interest to leave her now would make it more? When i replied to her it was always a day or so afterwards, She replied quite quickly, so i wasn't replying 24/7 etc Do you think she has to reply? or is there a chance she just wont? No she wasn't missing you Brandon, at least not in the "I miss him and want to be with him" vein. She was more than likely curious and checking in on you to gain support. And it doesn't matter whether you respond in a minute or a day, a response is a response. You're still there giving her support. She's not missing you when you do that. And I'm really not sure what you are trying to ask with the final two questions at all. You just need to let go man. You haven't let go yet. Nothing is going to go your way -- whether its with your ex or with someone else -- until you let go. I feel like you are trying to ask the exact same questions in different ways to try to trick us into giving you hope. It's not going to happen dude. Your last text to her was appropriate. You need to stop second-guessing it and start moving forward. It's up to her to chase after you and be real with you now. Don't back down now and start chasing and gobbling up breadcrumbs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 I'm just asking if you think i should expect a reply in a few days, or if you think she may never reply ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I'm just asking if you think i should expect a reply in a few days, or if you think she may never reply ^^ Only she knows that. No one can answer that question but her. If I were you, I'd move forward not expecting one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 16, 2015 Author Share Posted April 16, 2015 Nearly 3 days no reply, seems to be she only did all this to hurt me and mess with my head even more. She's not even someone I want to be with to be honest. I'm more annoyed than upset though! I know 3 days ain't long but it seems as though she's not gunna reply ever. Atleast I tryed! Thanks for everyone's insight and opinions Link to post Share on other sites
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