Timothy93 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I had a problem with both her father and older brother. Back in my sophomore year of HS (was 15 then), I once found her private journal and made several copies about it for others to read. I was bored and thought that would get me more friends. While it did get 2 of my friends and certain people laughing, several classmates actually disliked me for that. One of the girl's friend did slapped me for that. It didn't really end right there. I was actually confronted by both her father and older college brother (had no idea it would cause all that commotion). Her old man was practically backing me against the wall while explaining how she's been depressed for several days and wouldn't stop crying....then said in a sten voice ''Let's hope this is the last time I speak to you, you understand''. I actually did apologized to her but in the last year of HS. Last year, I found out she moved to my college and well I apologized again. I guess we made up and have been hanging out (we're now 21) more. Still not sure if it's worth dating her after the how I was confronted back then and both of must hate me for making her cry and causing all that? I mean it would be cool to be given a 2nd chance. I was a kid then and very immature.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I had a problem with both her father and older brother. Back in my sophomore year of HS (was 15 then), I once found her private journal and made several copies about it for others to read. I was bored and thought that would get me more friends. While it did get 2 of my friends and certain people laughing, several classmates actually disliked me for that. One of the girl's friend did slapped me for that. It didn't really end right there. I was actually confronted by both her father and older college brother (had no idea it would cause all that commotion). Her old man was practically backing me against the wall while explaining how she's been depressed for several days and wouldn't stop crying....then said in a sten voice ''Let's hope this is the last time I speak to you, you understand''. I actually did apologized to her but in the last year of HS. Last year, I found out she moved to my college and well I apologized again. I guess we made up and have been hanging out (we're now 21) more. Still not sure if it's worth dating her after the how I was confronted back then and both of must hate me for making her cry and causing all that? I mean it would be cool to be given a 2nd chance. I was a kid then and very immature. In my opinion, I don't know, I feel you're playing with fire, Although mistakes are often made, your situation could turn dire. Most people will agree, I think, that mistakes are often made, But don't jeopardize a true friendship out of fear for family hate.
Author Timothy93 Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 In my opinion, I don't know, I feel you're playing with fire, Although mistakes are often made, your situation could turn dire. Most people will agree, I think, that mistakes are often made, But don't jeopardize a true friendship out of fear for family hate.So I should continue secretly seeing her? And if it gets more serious, date her in secret too?
Lurkeraspect Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 So I should continue secretly seeing her? And if it gets more serious, date her in secret too? No! You're a 21 year old man, not the 15 year old boy who made the mistake. If she forgives you and wants to date you, you do it openly. If she wants to date the man, you need to leave the boy and the mistake behind.
CC12 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 In what way are you two "hanging out" now? Do you see each other in social situations often? Do you communicate with each other a lot? Do you consider her your friend, and do you think she would call you a friend? Honestly, I find it strange that after you did something so heinous to another human being, you're now contemplating pursuing a romantic relationship with her and wondering whether it's "worth" dating her now. Usually when you (general "you") screw someone over so badly, you tend to give them their space and not expect anything from them.
Grilled_Salmon Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Christ almighty, and I thought what I did when I was a teen was stupid as hell. I'd have to go along with CC12's questions as well. You might also want to ask her what her old man and brother think about you to this day. Just in case.
spiderowl Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 It sounds like you liked her then and were trying to provoke a reaction from her. What you did was terrible and you would be very lucky indeed if she was to forgive and forget. Why would you want to date her now anyway? No point in trying to do that just to see if you can. Her father would not be happy, that's for sure, but it's up to her. I would say consider why you want to date, not if you could. It would not be nice to chase this woman just to prove you could, if you are only going to be cruel to her again. She deserves better than that.
Methodical Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I don't think her father or brother would accept a 'young and dumb' explanation if things went south again. Ultimately, it's between the two of you, and if you do, be an honorable man, even if things don't work out...no mud slinging.
Author Timothy93 Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 In what way are you two "hanging out" now? Do you see each other in social situations often? Do you communicate with each other a lot? Do you consider her your friend, and do you think she would call you a friend?We see each other after classes 3 times a week (the latest till nearly 10 PM). Also communicate through skype sometimes. Honestly, I find it strange that after you did something so heinous to another human being, you're now contemplating pursuing a romantic relationship with her and wondering whether it's "worth" dating her now. Usually when you (general "you") screw someone over so badly, you tend to give them their space and not expect anything from them.Not contemplating anything. I did left her alone at the time. When I first apologized to her weeks before our graduation, she didn't accept it and I didn't insist. It was when we bumped into each other last year and she said ''Hi'' to me, that she accepted my apology.
Author Timothy93 Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 You might also want to ask her what her old man and brother think about you to this day. Just in case.I haven't ask her that yet. I guess I will eventually if it gets serious. If it wasn't for that history, I would have formally introduce myself to the girl's father from the start, follow the curfew if needed and drop her off at her house. Last time we hanged out, I just drop off 2 couple blocks away from her house and left very fast when she got in.
Interstellar Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 (edited) I had a problem with both her father and older brother. Back in my sophomore year of HS (was 15 then), I once found her private journal and made several copies about it for others to read. I was bored and thought that would get me more friends. While it did get 2 of my friends and certain people laughing, several classmates actually disliked me for that. One of the girl's friend did slapped me for that. It didn't really end right there. I was actually confronted by both her father and older college brother (had no idea it would cause all that commotion). Her old man was practically backing me against the wall while explaining how she's been depressed for several days and wouldn't stop crying....then said in a sten voice ''Let's hope this is the last time I speak to you, you understand''. I actually did apologized to her but in the last year of HS. Last year, I found out she moved to my college and well I apologized again. I guess we made up and have been hanging out (we're now 21) more. Still not sure if it's worth dating her after the how I was confronted back then and both of must hate me for making her cry and causing all that? I mean it would be cool to be given a 2nd chance. I was a kid then and very immature. You hurt her. It's over. Zero. Zilch. No chance in hell. Her Dad hates you. Don't ever think for a second that she will ever forget. Your odds with this girl is zero. You have a better chance of winning the lottery. Do the best thing for yourself and date other women. Edited April 8, 2015 by Interstellar
Author Timothy93 Posted June 28, 2015 Author Posted June 28, 2015 Hey all, It's now been a bit more than two months later and I've updated my situation: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/535220-still-secretly-hanging-out-same-girl You can reply on that post now.
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