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Emotional Brick Wall....What?!


walkingonair

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Where did you hear this? Who said this to whom? AA meeting?

 

Sorry. I found it.

Edited by 54JA
Didn't read all posts.
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Guy i'm dating says he can't truly get into the relationship b/c he's an emotional brick wall. We've been dating for 8 months and still no commitment.He did have a bad breakup 3 years ago.And he grew up with his mom giving him no attention at all.What did he mean by the emotional brick wall thing?

 

He's giving you all he's got. He isn't "open" to being more loving or receiving it. I'd let this one go. This will be a difficult thing to deal with for you. You want more than he can and/or wants to. You will always be feeling unfulfilled in the relationship. Anxious, insecure, etc.

 

Focus on your needs and whether they are being met by him. Once you realize what's missing for you, you'll be able to make the decision to move on.

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What does it mean when a guy says" I'm dating a wonderful beautiful woman,problem is I'm an emotional brick wall and I can't truly get into the relationship.I wish I wasn't like this,it sucks, hurts me everyday."

 

Is this person afraid of being in a relationship?

 

He is but wants a woman in his life. He knows he can't maintain a relationship and will make attempts. However, he is anxious and insecure all the time whil he is trying because he's waiting for the other shoe to drop. He knows he can't give a woman enough and that she will eventually bail. He'll keep her around until she can't stand it anymore herself but he's not really enjoying it on a deeper level. He stays at the "sexual" level. He likes her, enjoys her company, etc. but can't invest himself fully. She eventually, "feels" that. They are usually inconsistent in their actions. For a while, it will seem like he's all in and he is somewhat, but it becomes uncomfortable/overwhelming, so he pulls away some for a while and then comes back strong again. It will happen over and over. It will feel as though he is coming in and out of your life.

 

Sometimes you can "break" through if you are that invested in them, but it takes a ton of patience and mothering a little too. It's not easy.

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walkingonair
He is but wants a woman in his life. He knows he can't maintain a relationship and will make attempts. However, he is anxious and insecure all the time whil he is trying because he's waiting for the other shoe to drop. He knows he can't give a woman enough and that she will eventually bail. He'll keep her around until she can't stand it anymore herself but he's not really enjoying it on a deeper level. He stays at the "sexual" level. He likes her, enjoys her company, etc. but can't invest himself fully. She eventually, "feels" that. They are usually inconsistent in their actions. For a while, it will seem like he's all in and he is somewhat, but it becomes uncomfortable/overwhelming, so he pulls away some for a while and then comes back strong again. It will happen over and over. It will feel as though he is coming in and out of your life.

 

Sometimes you can "break" through if you are that invested in them, but it takes a ton of patience and mothering a little too. It's not easy.

 

 

Thanks so much Redhead!Yes dealing with people like this is HELL.It completely sucks the life out of you.I have finally stopped seeing him,it's hard but seeing him was even harder an never truly made me happy.

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