Dawson.E Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 (edited) I've met my girlfriend at my first weekend/holiday job when I was 15, I started dating her when I was 18 (she was 17) and we've been together for over three years. Three really good years. I've never even thought about using like a forum before. Though I posted a thread recently when we actually broke up for a few days, the only time we've ever had issues like that. I don't want to repeat that but i'll paste it here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/520926-did-i-make-mistake-calling-time-our-relationship Tldr: She, for the first time, genuinely poured her heart out in an email, like I never even imagined she would. We're back together and things are back like they were and we're good. But something someone wrote on that thread got me thinking: We do get quite a few comments on our relationship from outside. I get a lot of the old "ice queen" jokes from my mates. I even get plenty of accolades from her family. Thing is lot of people find my girlfriend "difficult", she's a very black and white, straight shooter, and I guess you love her or you hate her. But I love her. For me, I've just always felt the world doesn't get her like I do. She's got an incredibly dry sense of humour, she's always messing with you, and she can take the banter back. I know all that cockiness is just a front. and I know all those "f--- off you idiot"'s with that smirk that she just can't quite hide are her way of saying 'I love you a ton'. And I think maybe if the world understood all that they'd find her as hilarious and lovable as I do. She puts on a hard exterior but when she's with me I see the softer side I know she has! I've never cared that she doesn't always 'say it', because she's always been there, always had my back, always loved me, I don't think I've ever trusted anyone the way I trust her, as my colleague, my friend, my gf....when you picture yourself in like a zombie apocalypse, or under alien invasion, or having quintuplets either way, its her I'd want by my side, I'd put my life in her hands if she said the word, without question. Theres this song that goes "So I went out and bought her roses, She complained about the thorns, I caught her smiling, And that's what I do it for" her sister showed it to me cause she says it makes her think of me and my gf. She's right in a way, that eye roll followed by the hint of a grin, and then a kiss is the only thank you I've ever needed. But when I got offered this job opportunity aboard recently and she didn't blink, it was the one time when suddenly needed to hear her tell me she wanted me, and she didn't (till said email) and it hurt. And it was nice to read her email and read her say of course she loves me, and also acknowledge the fact that she does find verbalising that hard. She even wrote When you sat there telling me how great I was, how much the relationship meant to you, the future you wanted, you have no idea how much I wanted to say to you, I had all these things I love about you in my head, I wanted to say it to you but even after all this time I couldn't let you hear it, and all I could settle on was a, pretty pathetic, whispered "I really love you too", and I heard how surprised you were and part of me caught attitude, the emotion you know I don't have a problem with, because of course I love you Sonny, how could you not know that, I know I don't say it, but everything I do it's for us! But most of all I realised just how ***ked up I was cause most of all when I heard your reaction I felt.. proud, like "good one Mad - you didn't blow cover"! That's twisted And like I say, we're fine now. But a poster wrote about It being a tough relationship dynamic to maintain over a lifetime. That if you give and give and give eventually all you'll have left is being able to say I did my best, I gave her my life. That stayed on my mind. Do you think some relationship dynamics are harder to maintain that others?? Do you think you do need "words" in a relationship regardless of how good actions, intentions and everything else in the relationship are? I always figured that me and her would be one of these old couples still ribbing each other from our rocking chairs. I DON'T want to leave my gf. That's not on the cards at all. I want to stand by her side till the day I die!! Its just our relationships always been so solid, so clear, so resilient. I never saw myself taking a job a million miles away all because she didn't tell me she'd miss me or she wanted me to stay. But I did! That was me! And now I just feel a little, disorientated almost, in my own head, like what are you doing Sonny, what's wrong with you......... Edited April 3, 2015 by Dawson.E
Shepp Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 ROCKET TO THE MOON! I've used that same lyric in reference to my own wife before actually. I don't spend much time thinking about our "relationship dynamics" are compared to others. I love her, she loves me, i'm happy, she's happy - that's good enough for me!
Lurkeraspect Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 I don't think it matters much what room full of complete strangers say about your relationship. Whatever you two have obviously works for you both. I would however, listen to those closest to you, your family, closest friends, people who love you and have watched you two interact. They may see things that you cannot, they know you well, so I wouldn't necessarily poo poo their opinions. But, at the end of the day, it's your life and you'll have to make all the hard choices, and deal with any consequences. Good luck!
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