BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 I guess I'm just saying I'd rather not be told that I'm someone's first black experience. I just don't care to hear it. If I am, that's fine. I'm my boyfriends first black anything, but he didn't tell me until later on in the relationship because clearly it doesn't matter. I can see why you wouldn't want to hear that, OP. I'm Latina, and if a guy told me that I was his "first Latin experience", idk, that would just sound odd to me and somehow, condescending...as if my race is something that is that distinguishable from the other races of women that he dates. . 3
Gloria25 Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 I like Asian woman and it is not a fetish I have good reasons. For example less likely to be a single mom , and we have the same values like hard work, education and family. Also I think it is something like 80% of Asian kids grow up with both parents under one roof . I think that a "fetish" is like the "thing" that people just cannot do without... I think a better word would be like "preferences"... My dad was blacker than black - yet Hispanic and he was not a nice guy. I watched him beat on my mum, he hated women, he beat on us and while no sexual abuse happened - the mental and physical abuse, IMO, also leaves significant scars (think of PSTD - it's mental and not always "visual" trauma like a blown off leg/arm). He also had nothing good to say about whites and/or mixed people. I still don't know why he dated and/or had kids with women that included non-black women if he hated anything that wasn't "pure breed" black. What did that do to me? I do not feel an ounce of attraction towards black men. Eh, I do have some celebrities like Denzel Washington, Wesley Snipes, and Will Smith that maybe I'd date in real life, but that's about it. Never kissed a black man, do not watch porn involving black men...and, black men do not make me wet. Give me a good looking Caucasian guy - especially with blue eyes and I melt. Now, I've been interested in and dated Hispanic men, but they usually have more Caucasian/European features. Do I call it a fetish? No, I call it a preference. Some of our "preferences" are learned through experience and environment. I was also going to post this in response to gaius question as to whether or not a person can 'retrain' their thought process to prefer dating the same gender. So, I'm sorry...not attracted to black men. I just don't feel it and I don't see something wrong with me cuz I'm not hurting anyone. Now, some men - just like me - had experiences with women outside of their race/culture/nationality/etc and it was such a positive one that it left a lasting impression on them - thus creating their "preference". The guy that left me for the "town ho"? His first wife was from the same country I was raised in and he developed a "preference" for Hispanic women - especially from the country I was from. I mean, there's men that like redheads vs. blondes...again, people have their "preference" - even within the same race of person they prefer. So, some people develop "preferences" based on environment/experience...doesn't equate to a "fetish", IMO. 2
Author shvrk Posted April 1, 2015 Author Posted April 1, 2015 I can see why you wouldn't want to hear that, OP. I'm Latina, and if a guy told me that I was his "first Latin experience", idk, that would just sound odd to me and somehow, condescending...as if my race is something that is that distinguishable from the other races of women that he dates. . Couldn't have said it better. Thank you! 1
Gaeta Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 People like what they like and that is all. There are no right or wrong. I am a white female and my last relationship was with a black man and I do prefer dating them since a couple of years. I never hear them complain about anything, not the weather, the government, their ex, their job, their car, nothing !! They do their best with what they have and are thankful for every bit of it. And to me it's refreshing cause Frenchmen are big complainers and I can't stand it anymore. My preference in men has nothing to do with me having a fetish. 1
Trane Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 I have met and dated my fair share of men, of many ages, though I am only 20... I sometimes felt though, that the men that I have dated and just so happened to be white would make comments that would throw me off, and making it obvious that they only showed interest in wanting to be intimate with a black woman, nothing beyond. "I've never been with a black girl." is the biggest red flag when I comes to dating, unfortunately I've gotten it so many times... My boyfriend now, however, never makes comments on our racial differences unless he doesn't seem to understand something of black culture... My main question is, do men that date black women do it because the woman they are interested in just so happens to be black, or are these men just "seeing what it's like." I ask because of the way black woman are portrayed, and just other ignorant comments about us such as how we are apparently "gross" and "have bad attitudes." Love has NO colour when it truly shines my dear. Be yourself and don't perpetuate the opinions of the world wide web. Women are amazing no matter what colour they are! "It's been a long, long time coming, But I know a change gonna come, Oh yes it will," 1
Auspecial Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 I guess I'm just saying I'd rather not be told that I'm someone's first black experience. I just don't care to hear it. If I am, that's fine. I'm my boyfriends first black anything, but he didn't tell me until later on in the relationship because clearly it doesn't matter. I get that! Why call attention to something that should not even be noteworthy, until much later when you are just hanging around shooting the breeze. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 I think preferring a certain race ties into their physical features. Like Latin women are curvy and some men like that.
Cedar27 Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 (edited) I have been in long term relationships with black women back to back, and i'm white as a snowflake. I am currently semi involved with another black woman. I'll be honest with you, i'd be lying if I said that there's not something special about the way a black woman looks to me. For some reason, they are a cut above. I'll still date around but perhaps my first girlfriend being black and the subsequent one I am just used to a woman with those features. I'm a perfectly normal guy. I don't think I have some special fetish or anything. I'll happily date or marry a woman of any race. Even still... I just have to say that I do enjoy women that are a bit more exotic than me. Don't know why, it is the way it is. That being said, I never sought out black women just for the sake of their skin color alone (although that does get a point in my book). Doing so would be ridiculous. Other men i'm not so sure. Maybe depends on the age group. There are some men who will sleep with a girl for the sake of saying they are a member of the United Nations. I might be old fashioned but I try to be intimate only with women when there has already been kind of a relationship established (or close to). I'm sure there are white men out there like me though, there has to be. How common are we? I have no clue. At this point i've heard all the jokes from everyone ("once you go black"). I doesn't even phase me anymore, I like what I like. I'd put my money on myself marrying a black/latina/exotic woman if I was a gambler. We can't help who we attracted to. The question is are you attracted to the person or the fantasy? For me, it has always been the woman deep down. Physical attraction only goes so far. Edited April 2, 2015 by Cedar27 1
Revolver Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Just because a white guy has sex with a black woman doesn't mean he's not racist 1
Author shvrk Posted April 2, 2015 Author Posted April 2, 2015 Just because a white guy has sex with a black woman doesn't mean he's not racist I absolutely agree.
Author shvrk Posted April 2, 2015 Author Posted April 2, 2015 I have been in long term relationships with black women back to back, and i'm white as a snowflake. I am currently semi involved with another black woman. I'll be honest with you, i'd be lying if I said that there's not something special about the way a black woman looks to me. For some reason, they are a cut above. I'll still date around but perhaps my first girlfriend being black and the subsequent one I am just used to a woman with those features. I'm a perfectly normal guy. I don't think I have some special fetish or anything. I'll happily date or marry a woman of any race. Even still... I just have to say that I do enjoy women that are a bit more exotic than me. Don't know why, it is the way it is. That being said, I never sought out black women just for the sake of their skin color alone (although that does get a point in my book). Doing so would be ridiculous. Other men i'm not so sure. Maybe depends on the age group. There are some men who will sleep with a girl for the sake of saying they are a member of the United Nations. I might be old fashioned but I try to be intimate only with women when there has already been kind of a relationship established (or close to). I'm sure there are white men out there like me though, there has to be. How common are we? I have no clue. At this point i've heard all the jokes from everyone ("once you go black"). I doesn't even phase me anymore, I like what I like. I'd put my money on myself marrying a black/latina/exotic woman if I was a gambler. We can't help who we attracted to. The question is are you attracted to the person or the fantasy? For me, it has always been the woman deep down. Physical attraction only goes so far. Thanks for responding! I'm sure there are many men out there like you. & I agree, there is something very special about black women. I can honestly say that I feel beautiful after years of being told that I'm not bc of my skin, nose, eyes, lips and hair but... now that I look at myself I'm confident that I'm beautiful. On top of my personality I feel as if I am a package. Because you are right, looks do only go so far. I focus more on my personal growth than physical appearance, which is why I am annoyed when a man were to approach or message me with something commenting on my race, or calling me a beautiful chocolate woman or whatever... 1
SawtoothMars Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 I have met and dated my fair share of men, of many ages, though I am only 20... I sometimes felt though, that the men that I have dated and just so happened to be white would make comments that would throw me off, and making it obvious that they only showed interest in wanting to be intimate with a black woman, nothing beyond. "I've never been with a black girl." is the biggest red flag when I comes to dating, unfortunately I've gotten it so many times... My boyfriend now, however, never makes comments on our racial differences unless he doesn't seem to understand something of black culture... My main question is, do men that date black women do it because the woman they are interested in just so happens to be black, or are these men just "seeing what it's like." I ask because of the way black woman are portrayed, and just other ignorant comments about us such as how we are apparently "gross" and "have bad attitudes." I'm sure there are some guys that just want to try. I think if he can take you around his family that is half the battle. I dated a black girl in college. My grandparents really didn't like it... but my parents didn't care much. She is the smartest person I've ever met, and we had to break up when she got accepted to a college in London. The bottom line is this... Does the guy emotionally invest in you? If yes... then you are not just a passing curiosity. What's wrong is treating someone who wants to date you as a "curiosity" rather than a human with a heart, feelings, and deserving of being treated with dignity and respect. There's black hookers you know...if guys want to see if a black vagina is purple or pink or blue, those guys can pay someone like a black hooker to satisfy all the curiosities they have. BTW, mine is pink w/a little darkness - go figure...cuz I'm mixed. And quite frankly, mine is freakin' pretty. I prefer a mixed colored vagina rather than a pure pink one. Can't say the same for penises...I somehow prefer the pink ones... Oh, and there's also porn...that's how I got to see different colors of penises rather than the pink ones I've grown used to. You can go to porn and see what color areolas black women have too. BTW, mine are light brown.... OMG! That is too much information! I personally think it's creepy for a guy to just date a woman simply because of her ethnicity. 1
kadya Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I have met and dated my fair share of men, of many ages, though I am only 20... I sometimes felt though, that the men that I have dated and just so happened to be white would make comments that would throw me off, and making it obvious that they only showed interest in wanting to be intimate with a black woman, nothing beyond. "I've never been with a black girl." is the biggest red flag when I comes to dating, unfortunately I've gotten it so many times... My boyfriend now, however, never makes comments on our racial differences unless he doesn't seem to understand something of black culture... My main question is, do men that date black women do it because the woman they are interested in just so happens to be black, or are these men just "seeing what it's like." I ask because of the way black woman are portrayed, and just other ignorant comments about us such as how we are apparently "gross" and "have bad attitudes." I am VERY white, and my current (white) boyfriend's ex is black, and they dated for two years. So I think there are some guys that just don't care about race at all. If he had just wanted to see what it was like, he wouldn't have dated her for two years! :-P
hotpotato Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Im trying to understand. By see what its like do you mean sex? A lot of guys will want that, not special to white men by a longshot. Im black, and I have dated my fair share of white guys. Most happened to lrefer ethnic women. I rarely got the feeling they were trying to get a taste. +1 you can have sex with someone and be prejudiced against them. I was on the phone with a white guy, and suddenly he started breathing really hard and said "I wanna bend over your n****** azz." O_o. O_o. o_O I had a white dacist coworker. She called blacks as a whole a bunch of ns and told one black girl her baby was ugly. Lo and behold old biddy was cheating on her husband with a black man.
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