PegNosePete Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Right, just because it's posted on a message board, it MUST be true. Doesn't make it false either. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Toodaloo you summarized OLD quite aptly. Are you sure? So far I haven't had much fun and it now been so long since I got laid I am beginning to have concerns that it all still works down there! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
okc85 Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Peg is right, in my opinion. Having a bad profile will turn people off from wanting to message you. It is 2015. You have no excuse for not knowing how to properly upload a photo to a dating website! Why is your photo the size of a thumbnail? Why does it look like you're rocking clothes from 10 years ago? (Very old photos are telling! No one has taken your picture in 10 years?) Two up close face shots and that's it? Or, even worse, only photos of you with other people....which one are you?! ---- As for the actual profile, that matters slightly less, because people view your photos first, but just make sure your profile text is aimed towards the type of person you want to date. As someone mentioned, don't bring up partying and drinking all the time if you're looking to meet a girl you can settle down with relatively soon. GIGS is hard to battle these days, but eventually you'll meet someone. Or if not, you can just monetize your troubles and write a memoir about your online dating Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Are you sure? So far I haven't had much fun and it now been so long since I got laid I am beginning to have concerns that it all still works down there! OLD is supposed to be fun and a supplement to offline dating. Approach it with little seriousness, but a lot of nonchalant attitude. Eventually you'll give off some fun energy through the words and pictures in your profile and catch someone receptive to it. But if still doesn't work Toodaloo, then maybe I'll hop over to where you're at and we can have some fun together. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 (edited) OLD is supposed to be fun and a supplement to offline dating. Approach it with little seriousness, but a lot of nonchalant attitude. Eventually you'll give off some fun energy through the words and pictures in your profile and catch someone receptive to it. But if still doesn't work Toodaloo, then maybe I'll hop over to where you're at and we can have some fun together. Yes, nonchalant is the way to go. I got a date off of online dating, and a couple of other women agreed they would have met me. It just didn't come to fruition. It gets so that dating becomes such a competition, and the more you make it so and blame yourself, the worse it gets. "Man, are my pics perfect?" "Maybe I should change my profile again. Make it more interesting." "Man, would some women find the fact that I like that show/movie offensive? Maybe I should get rid of it." "Should I list that I like sports? God, most women don't like that." And god forbid a woman actually gets back to you with "Hi, what's up?" and you carefully handcraft a response a couple of hours and then she never gets back to you. Well, that must be your fault. Living life like that is beyond miserable. Yes. Have your sister or your female friend look at your profile and critique it. If something is glaring, change it. And from there, just let it swing. I personally look for imperfect profiles. It says to me, "This person is more forgiving and less judgmental." Also, the more you change things, the less you represent yourself. Edited April 2, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedButton Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 People disappearing after a few messages is very, very common in OLD and can happen for a number of reasons. It's easy to be turned off by it, but I had good experiences regardless. Try to make your profile as good as possible, only message people you are interested in, and just try to be yourself. There are issues for both men and women when it comes to OLD. Men struggle to get attention amongst the hundreds of men on the site, meaning that the onus seems to be on them constantly. They have to make the first message, they have to be interesting, they have to be the aggressor while it seems like the women don't have to try. On the flipside, the women will be inundated with messages like Santa at Xmas time (and as i understand, most messages are just 'Hey'), as well as getting dick pics and the like sent to them. If it works for you/if you like it or not is a personal thing in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 OLD is supposed to be fun and a supplement to offline dating. Approach it with little seriousness, but a lot of nonchalant attitude. Eventually you'll give off some fun energy through the words and pictures in your profile and catch someone receptive to it. But if still doesn't work Toodaloo, then maybe I'll hop over to where you're at and we can have some fun together. See I can do that for a while but then I get really down as these are real people and turning them down because I just don't fancy them all the time is just wearing on the soul. I am not a bad person. I don't want to hurt people but blimey they expect so much so fast! Tempting... At least I could have someone to go to the theatre with! now where was that deal I found the other day! Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 See I can do that for a while but then I get really down as these are real people and turning them down because I just don't fancy them all the time is just wearing on the soul. I am not a bad person. I don't want to hurt people but blimey they expect so much so fast! I feel your pain. The older you get the wiser you get as well. There needs to be more than just someone to hangout with and kiss, which was basically the only requirement when you were a teenager or early 20s. With wisdom, you lose some innocence, so you no longer look at a potential partner with wide eyes of wonder. You scrutinize, you test, you want more compatibility. Tempting... At least I could have someone to go to the theatre with! now where was that deal I found the other day! I like the theater, particularly Broadway and Off-Broadway shows (West End and The Fringe I believe are the London equivalents). I don't think I could survive an opera. Oh going to the circus is also fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Suppose you're on a small plane with 10 women and 5 other men and it goes down, you all wind up on the stereotypical "desert island". Well, you wouldn't have much trouble getting a woman would you? That's one of the problems OLD poses for men, the other problems stem from this one. Link to post Share on other sites
SearchingForMyself Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 If you're on okcupid or plenty of fish, these are renown hook up sites. Have a sexy picture and you are in. No matter what most women will tell you on here op, when they are inundates with hundreds of messages, who are the ones they will pick to message? The ones that look sexy to them. Looks matter more online than profile, so make a simple profile and go work on your aesthetics! Link to post Share on other sites
RedButton Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 If you're on okcupid or plenty of fish, these are renown hook up sites. Have a sexy picture and you are in. Ehh, I've heard mixed things about PoF, but from experience OKC isn't that bad. There are people on there looking for hookups, but equal amount looking for real relationships. I met my last girlfriend through OKC, while she admitted she was surprised to find something long term, I don't think she was looking for the hookup either. I certainly wasn't. I met a few other girls on there and they were all normal coffee dates or dinner dates etc, none were overly sleazy. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 If you're on okcupid or plenty of fish, these are renown hook up sites. Have a sexy picture and you are in. No matter what most women will tell you on here op, when they are inundates with hundreds of messages, who are the ones they will pick to message? The ones that look sexy to them. Looks matter more online than profile, so make a simple profile and go work on your aesthetics! You kinda have to go for the ones who aren't innundated with hundreds of messages. Or it's an idea, at least. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 You kinda have to go for the ones who aren't innundated with hundreds of messages. Or it's an idea, at least. Tried that already JJS, for the fun of it, I attempted to contact some rather homely women just to test this theory of how online dating simply changes the standards of people. They viewed my profile, but didn't respond. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 (edited) Tried that already JJS, for the fun of it, I attempted to contact some rather homely women just to test this theory of how online dating simply changes the standards of people. They viewed my profile, but didn't respond. That's not 'exactly' where I was going. I don't consider anybody homely. But yea, people who haven't gotten that much attention are somewhat more likely to be more forgiving. For example, I don't call anybody homely, because I know what it means to feel like that. So, no women are ugly to me. They're just various degrees of attractive. Anyway, the women who responded to me tended to be my race and foreign. Make that ALL the women who responded. Edited April 3, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
SupportiveGuy Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 From my 5 years studying OKCupid and other dating sites, the big takeaway I get is that it boils down to your location and values. For instance, in Bellingham,WA, most of the daters are interested in casual no-strings hookups, by a huge margin, like 95%, because it's a liberal area. Women I have contacted who live in more conservative regions were much more likely to respond to my profile, and even seemed to enjoy our conversations. It's pretty obvious to me now, after so many years of study, that people tend to be ostracized and even hated because their beliefs don't exactly mesh well with the local population's beliefs. Such people, male and female, flock to online dating in droves. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Well now I am in a pickle... After some rather disappointing first dates I have had two this weekend and both are lovely in very different ways... What is the saying about men and buses... Sod this I am off to NY to go to the circus with Frank... so much simpler... If he misbehaves at least I can punish him by forcing him to watch Pirates of Penzance and poking him in the ribs if he falls asleep...!!! Link to post Share on other sites
RedButton Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Well now I am in a pickle... After some rather disappointing first dates I have had two this weekend and both are lovely in very different ways... Just take it slow with both I guess, see which one clicks more with you. I have feeling you'll be able to tell within a couple weeks. If it were me I wouldn't get too committed or sleep with either partner until I was sure which one I liked more. I know if I was dating a woman and she was sleeping with someone else at the same time that would put me right off (maybe that's just me). I've got a date this week myself with someone I met online. I actually thought she wasn't interested at all, but have been getting texts asking 'Are we still on for this week?' so there must be something. I'm still working out how to ask out the girl from the bookstore as well :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Well now I am in a pickle... After some rather disappointing first dates I have had two this weekend and both are lovely in very different ways... Congratulations. Now you are like in the supermarket, trying to decide which brand of cereal to have. Hope you choose the tastier one. Sod this I am off to NY to go to the circus with Frank... so much simpler... If he misbehaves at least I can punish him by forcing him to watch Pirates of Penzance and poking him in the ribs if he falls asleep...!!! Not my ribs! I'm ticklish there. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 It looked so promising with both of them. And then next thing happened: i tried to develop conversations further, i asked them few simple questions and said few witty remarks. My messages had positive vibe, they were not short, they were not long, they both implied to establish connection between us and possibility to get to know each other. So, after receiving second message from me they both looked at my profile one more time (i could see it, because of option that allows to see statistics of visitors) and after that they both decided to stop talking to me. I guess the few simple questions and the witty remarks were not well received what did you actually ask and say? Link to post Share on other sites
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