Ruby65 Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Because I feel like I lost a whole lot more than just a relationship. I feel like I lost my entire world, it almost feels like I can't breathe sometimes. A part of me died when we broke up, and I just want to succumb to these awful feelings. As pathetic as it sounds, I want to stay this way because this pain is the only thing I have left of her. This is what 99.9% of ALL dumpees feel, guaranteed. What you're describing isn't unique to you. It's just how it always feels when you've been dumped by someone you loved. Feel miserable as long as you need to..... but don't think your case is special or unique, my friend. You have a lot of work to do with your therapist and I really hope he/she isn't letting you get away with this self-pity and apathy. You have abuse issues to work through before you're fit for another relationship: time to get busy!
unforgotten Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Jonp219, well I've wasted 7 then. I'm also 25 and my ex dumped me almost 6 months ago. I felt exactly the same way as you do. You described it perfectly! The first two months were a living hell! I'm still struggling though. I'm going through a rough couple of days right now. I am ok for a week or so feeling king of good or even happy at times and then boom, I wake up depressed. I was feeling like **** two days ago. I know better now not to stay inside and dwell so I went to the gym etc. but I have no energy at all at times like this. I'm tired, depressed, sad, feel like a squeezed sponge. I'm still not ok and I'm doing everything I can to beat this. The memories of her keep coming back, either good or bad, they make me sad. When will this end?!
unforgotten Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 So I decided to take a quick nap since I was very slwwpy and drai ed. I kept waking up shaking and with my heart beating a little faster. This lasts just a couple of moments. It's always like this when I'm depressed. I feel awful. I even felt good today. I hate this quick mood swings. What to do in the moments like these when you feel like everything is pointless and you'd rather be dead instead? I'm so sick of them!
AIJ Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 I'm always a little bit disheartened when I pick my phone up after waking up and there's no message from her on there, I don't know why, even if she did message me it wouldn't reach me, got her blocked on everything nor do I ever plan on unblocking her. Happy she's out of my life, and I think I'm progressing really well Going no contact, and I mean ACTUAL no contact, like not stalking her social media or having anyone tell me anything about what she's doing, has helped me massively!
unforgotten Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Ok, just to check in and let you know I'm feeling fine now. Look how little time has passed and I went from feeling **** to feeling very good. And I did basically nothing. How can this be??? How can these mood swings shift so fast and so dramatically?
Jonp219 Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Ok, just to check in and let you know I'm feeling fine now. Look how little time has passed and I went from feeling **** to feeling very good. And I did basically nothing. How can this be??? How can these mood swings shift so fast and so dramatically? That's just the nature of this beast. I went to sleep crying last night, and I had NO dreams about her (first time since the break-up). Don't get use to it though these mood swings will come around when you least expect it.
Jonp219 Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 So I decided to take a quick nap since I was very slwwpy and drai ed. I kept waking up shaking and with my heart beating a little faster. This lasts just a couple of moments. It's always like this when I'm depressed. I feel awful. I even felt good today. I hate this quick mood swings. What to do in the moments like these when you feel like everything is pointless and you'd rather be dead instead? I'm so sick of them! This is how I wake up most mornings. The other day I had a vivid dream where me and her were sitting down talking. Then I woke up in a cold sweat and I just immediately broke down and started crying. I've had break-ups before, I've lost family members and friends, but this is by fat the worst emotional pain I have ever felt in my life. I just feel like laying down and never getting up. I don't think I'll ever have a relationship that will last as long as 4 years ever again, let alone get married.
Frogwife Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 (edited) Sure, everyone feels this way after a break up for the most part. Why create a thread to just whine about how terrible things are and how you will never find love ever again. Why not be a little pro active and find some positives? Post like "I'm 25 and have 50 more years of dealing with this" are negatively reenforcing. You mean why create a thread like this one http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/163044-why-does-matter You wrote: "I feel used.. I feel like a 1.5 year rebound. " "I feel like this is going to cause me major trust issues in the future." "Extra sad today." Yes, do tell why one would create a thread like this... Edited April 1, 2015 by Frogwife
seminoles84 Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 (edited) Exactly my point. I'm great now and you realize that life goes on. I was here in 2008 and I'm offering my experiences for those going through it now. I look back on that and I cringe JUST like I said he will. I wish someone gave me tough love back then too. 25 years olds is so young and there will be so many opportunities after. I have had multiple girlfriends since that time. It's all a chemical imbalance and once you realize this, life gets simpler. Good luck. EDIT: At no point have I ever consider suicide over a break up. It's ok to be sad about a break up (as I was) but you realize that life shouldn't surround someone else. Took me a few months to realize this and honestly, therapy is the way to go and you have to really give it a shot and not just sit there. Edited April 1, 2015 by seminoles84
Frogwife Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 There's no "tough love" in grieving a loss - people grieve at their own pace and have their own, individual feelings. How one person copes is not how another person copes There is nothing "cringeworthy" about what you wrote, nor about what the OP wrote... feelings aren't right or wrong - they just are what they are. Now if, in 50 years, the OP is still feeling that way... yeah, then we can talk.
seminoles84 Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 There's no "tough love" in grieving a loss - people grieve at their own pace and have their own, individual feelings. How one person copes is not now another person copes There is nothing "cringeworthy" about what you wrote, nor about what the OP wrote... feelings aren't right or wrong - they just are what they are. Now if, in 50 years, the OP is still feeling that way... yeah, then we can talk. I have felt the way the OP is talking about. It's all part of the process. My post is more directed toward Jon who has just given up and obviously needs a reality check.
Jonp219 Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 (edited) There's no "tough love" in grieving a loss - people grieve at their own pace and have their own, individual feelings. How one person copes is not how another person copes There is nothing "cringeworthy" about what you wrote, nor about what the OP wrote... feelings aren't right or wrong - they just are what they are. Now if, in 50 years, the OP is still feeling that way... yeah, then we can talk. Don't worry, I will lol I know a guy who's still grieving over a relationship that ended 8 years ago!! And another guy who's grieving over a divorce that ended 10 years ago!! One of my uncles took his own life when his wife left him. If time heals everything then I'm ****ed. Because God knows we don't have enough of that. And being 25 isn't that great. I have to start thinking about kids and wife soon. I'm not getting married in my 30s or 40s I can't live by myself. Edited April 1, 2015 by Jonp219
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