JohnsonBaby Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Which one is true to you ?they re contradictory statements IMO. I find I tend to attract people who are similar to me in some way Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Most people end up with someone with at least general background that is similar, same culture, same emphasis on religion, similar ethics. But when it comes to personality, sometimes opposites attract. So in other words, a leader usually needs a follower. But there's a lot of variety within personality and many people like many different other types of people, while others focus on one specific type they like. It's all over the place once it's down to personality. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I've come to realize more and more that you attract the the kind of people you are already. Like attracts like. Which is why you must always strive to be the person you want to meet and be with. This goes for any kind of relationship, not must romantic ones. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Dybbuk Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I feel that people attract those who are similar to them in regards to core values. It would be unlikely that a person is going to fall in love with someone who's entire ethical views are polar opposite to their own. However I feel that when it comes to very superficial interests/hobbies, that yes opposites can attract. Finding someone who can 'enrich' your life and expose you to the new and interesting is also very refreshing and desirable. So in short... a mixture? I think that finding someone who you can build a life with and see eye to eye on core fundamental lifestyles/values is someone you will be attracted to. However being with someone who is into every single thing you are into can be boring, and it's nice finding someone who can add a bit of 'spice' to your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JohnAdams Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 My wife and I are opposites in many ways. She is an extrovert and I am an introvert. She is bubbly, I am serious. She is artistic, I am analytic. However we are alike in many ways. We both enjoy travel, fine dining, wine. We both enjoy being with each other. We both enjoy sex. So, overall we are a good combination of being opposites but also being alike. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 One of my favorite quotes about relationships and finding your match is; "Far too many people are worried about finding the right person instead of being the right person." - Gloria Steinem Something worth thinking about 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Opposites attract only applies to magnets...not people... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 The laws of attraction say you find people who are attune to your level. When I was down, I could never attract people. When I was happy & confident lots of good things came into my life & I had more energy. Depression is draining. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I married someone I thought was like me, but the surface commonalities hid some SERIOUS differences. The person I dated for a long time probably wouldn't have looked like a match from the outside, but we clicked. If he had not screwed it up, I think we would have worked lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Harold of Andraste Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I am mostly attracted to women who are like me. Similar interests, personality, hobbies, world view. I don't attract anybody. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Both. On the core stuff, we attract our likeness: emotional stability, values, goals, etc. This is compatibility. On a personality level, my guy and I are complete opposites, and attracted to each other for those traits. I'm soft, he's hard. I'm feel, he's think. I'm inward, he's outward. Yin-yang fuels attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
calvincline47 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Which one is true to you ?they re contradictory statements IMO. I find I tend to attract people who are similar to me in some way People match up based on looks and very little else. Women are the selectors and will select the best looks-wise that they can get that won't simply use them for sex. Like everything else in our society, it's all about how things look. Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy69 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I agree with the core values sentiment. We naturally are attracted more to someone whose overall view of life and morals are similar to our own. Couples with vastly different religious belief systems or outlook on finances are often doomed for failure. Same can be said for similar hobbies and interests although this is not a hard fast rule. Many times I've found myself attracted to men who are really good at something I know very little about. Once I realize the attraction I find myself often researching their hobby and trying to learn more about it. I make it a goal to challenge myself by putting myself out of my comfort zone and exploring things I haven't before. Difference here is my motivation is almost purely self serving. Link to post Share on other sites
Xelha Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 My current bf is the total opposite of me in a number of ways... not the kind of guy I would go for at all, and yet it somehow really works. I suppose some of the really important things(trust, honesty, marriage views...) we do have in common, though. I find that our differences keep things interesting between us. I was with someone I was a lot more similar to before, and it really didn't work. I think it really depends on in which ways you are similar/different, and which of those aspects ultimately matter to you and which don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I have not been attracted to anyone with a penis, therefore I'm definitely saying opposites attract. But generally yes, you attract like-minded people...that's how you build that strong mental and emotional connection, that's where you find that common ground of compatibility. The chemistry is enhanced when you feel that fiber of commonality and can speak with one another on a level that is not just plastic and superficial. However I do think that has a lot to do with ones self more than it does another person. I find myself best fitted with women who are independent, intelligent, strong willed and have a strong sense of self and vision of what they want or who they are. I think I am a bit too tough, rigid, and unpredictable for someone who is jealous, clingy, insecure or relies on a lot of validation and constant reassurances. However I have learned a great deal from women who have a different philosophies in life which has challenged me to think differently and gain a different perspective than if I had just shacked it up with someone very similar to myself. There are also times you are still able to establish some kind of connection even if they are a complete opposite, at the end of the day we all have similar needs to be loved, respected, understood, we just have different ways of receiving that..understanding how different people respond and connect is how you can become more "universally compatible" with people in general on a human level. What leads you to them however might just be an attraction, or something along the lines of chemistry or the unknown through random conversation, the best cases for me are when it's a surprise. This is especially true in my experience in connecting with women of different cultures and backgrounds. There are times where I have wondered what in the world could I have in common with this or that person when I'm making a judgment on face value, they're from a completely different culture with a different social expectation and interaction, they might not even be attracted to "my type" on top of that. Putting your doubts or apprehensions to the side however, and instead being open and just being confident in yourself despite the odds, allows you to find common ground in even the most unlikely or unexpected of circumstances. So I've dated women from very different beliefs than I, as well as cultural very differences/values. However for myself, I find that kind of experience engaging, I like to explorer and discover things that are new to me. I'm not going to lie, it adds an extra layer of work and things can get easy lost in translation, but there is a lot that is dependent on how willing that person is to break down those walls and communicate with you...it's definitely achievable, although you might not have the same cultural and emotional references being from different upbringings. Therefore I can be involved with someone who is very similar, but also someone who is the complete opposite side of the spectrum. But for the long term, likely someone who ultimately has more in common. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I think people seek a partner who has the same perceived positive traits with them and the opposite perceived negative traits than them (I have a feeling that my syntax stinks, but anyway ). Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 i think with the laws of attraction...there really are none that make any statistic viable......alls fair in love and war...meaning rules and laws dont count for much when it gets down and dirty...or you fall in love.....you never can tell.laws and rules ......are normally out the window when you really are attracted to someone.......deb Link to post Share on other sites
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