tolve Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 So, I wrote this thread a while back about a very long time male friend who I thought might be making a move on me. It's here if you want to read it: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/508775-did-he-made-move-why-isn-t-he-following-through#post6083612 But in a nutshell, he brought up life plans and asked me what my timeframe for wanting THE longterm relationship was i.e. husband, kids. I was shocked so kind of shut him down as I didn't know what to say. Opinion on LS was divided if this was a come one or if he was just talking to me about this stuff as I was a long time friend and it was on his mind. He lives on the other side of the country so I don't get to see him much and when he's in town he'll make the effort to see me once and then that's it, he may try and squeeze me in somewhere, but nobody squeezes me in, lol, so I don't bother. Most of our interactions are over the phone. Last time I saw him. like Christmas time, I mentioned I wanted to travel to Australia. He was like 'Oh I'd love to go Australia' He's been to and loved New Zealand. So I said 'Oh ha ha come!'. I mentioned it once again in a joke, and he was like, 'yeah I'll come, depends on money and time off work.' So I basically say (all of this is over the phone): 'this friend of mine wants to go to Thailand and if you don't want to come to Australia, that's cool, I also want to go to Thailand so I'll just go there.' He's like, 'no, no, no don't book Thailand I'm coming to Australia.' He books the tickets to come with me. During the booking process he says he can only come for a 10 days, I ask him 'What's the point of 10 days, it's soo far for such a little amount of time.' He replies' 'it's not like Australia has ever been top of my list, so 10 days is plenty'. In another conversation I'm trying to work out what to do and he goes 'I don't really care what we do while we're there.' Seriously, WTF? WHY are you coming then if you don't care? Is he genuinely coming to the other side of the world because he just wants a holiday and just thinks well she's going to Australia so I'll just tag along and I liked New Zealand so why not. Or is it to hang specifically with me? Like some of my friends (who don't know him) think. Why WHY would you spend a pile of money going to the literal other side of the world unless you really really want to go there? I wouldn't! What's confusing me is that if he wants to spend time with me, he can do it right here. He called me last month, and mentioned he was in town!!!! But that he was super busy with family stuff on the weekend and he just didn't think to tell me he was around that night, so sorry he couldn't meet me. So he doesn't spend time with me when he can right here, lately the phone calls have dwindled from weekly to haven't heard from him for 2 weeks. Why is he making grand gestures to spend time with me (if that's what he's doing) when he can't spend time with me when it's easy? Or call regularly? It is him who initiates 90% of phone calls. He is the most career focused person I know and is super busy and obsessed with work. My mom thinks if he is making subtle moves it's because he's so focused with his career he does't want the dating hassle and sees me as this nice girl he's super good friends with and can potentially marry. So I don't set his world on fire but I'm a good bet. He's not the most romantic guy so I can see that would be what he would do. What do you guys think?
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