Karin2rinkashi Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I am so sad that you feel this way. My suggestion is to stand up and do what you feel is the right thing to do. At all times. No matter what! You are You. Remain solid in who you are. If other people are not doing their part, thats not a part of you. I only THINK this way now. Because the girl who called me "The most transparent person on earth" blindsided me and then broke my heart. And after experiencing that pain.... i say **** transparency in relationships... You HAVE to protect yourself first.... You are on LS for a reason... Would you like to experience that pain again? I hope not!
jessicachoi Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Because some don't have a developed level of responsibility, sensibility, normal human feelings/emotions etc and are basically animals hidden in shirts and ties. Very underdeveloped.
Shining One Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Men lie because it works. Men lie to women because it works so much better than telling the truth.This is what it comes down to. If a lie has a greater chance of success than the truth, it makes sense to lie. Assume you have a 0% chance with a woman if you're truthful. A lie can give you a greater than 0% chance. If a woman filters messages on OLD from men under 6', the 5'11" guy who lies about an inch has a better shot than the 5'11" guy who tells the truth. The married man has a better chance of talking a principled woman into bed if he lies about his marital status. I could spend all night listing examples, but you get the idea.
KatZee Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 (edited) Assume you have a 0% chance with a woman if you're truthful. A lie can give you a greater than 0% chance. If a woman filters messages on OLD from men under 6', the 5'11" guy who lies about an inch has a better shot than the 5'11" guy who tells the truth. The married man has a better chance of talking a principled woman into bed if he lies about his marital status. I could spend all night listing examples, but you get the idea. Except, legit, smart, dating-savvy, authentic women are not idiots. I was on an OLD site and looking at a profile of a guy who messaged me. It said 6.0". Too bad that this dude was stupid enough to lie, and not smart enough to take pictures that didn't show off just how spectacularly short he was. In one photo a young girl was up to his shoulder. I mean, really? I've also met other guys who claim to be "single" and then the flags were immediate. Constant checking of his phone, asking for my number and having me write it on paper instead of putting it in his phone. (The guy wasn't just taken, he was MARRIED. If you're stupid enough to try to pick up women when you're not single, be smart enough not to give out your full name and have a public Facebook page.) Guys, you think you're being slick, playing games that make you look attractive and desirable, but no. We go home, ALONE, and we laugh at all the losers who tried to talk to us that night. If you want an authentic person, be your authentic self. The end. Edited March 30, 2015 by KatZee 1
elaine567 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Except, legit, smart, dating-savvy, authentic women are not idiots. ^^^this^^^ Once a lie is exposed, no women with any degree of self esteem is going to ignore it. Lying reduces options and lying in relationships builds resentment in the partner being lied to.
KatZee Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 ^^^this^^^ Once a lie is exposed, no women with any degree of self esteem is going to ignore it. Lying reduces options and lying in relationships builds resentment in the partner being lied to. Yep. And to me, the degree of the lie doesn't even matter. If I show up to a date and you only vaguely resemble your photos, your height is way off, that's it. To me, a lie is a lie. And any guy who wants to start off date one on a lie is not someone I will date. If you can't even be honest from the beginning, and honest about something so stupid, then what are you going to lie about down the road? I'm not even about to play that game. Next. 5
Shining One Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Except, legit, smart, dating-savvy, authentic women are not idiots.Even the best of us get fooled sometimes. I was on an OLD site and looking at a profile of a guy who messaged me. It said 6.0". Too bad that this dude was stupid enough to lie, and not smart enough to take pictures that didn't show off just how spectacularly short he was. In one photo a young girl was up to his shoulder. I mean, really?This was just plain stupidity on his part, however it somewhat proves my point. If you happen to filter out men under 6' (as indicated in my example), you would never have seen his profile. An unviewed profile has a 0% chance while a viewed profile has a greater than 0% chance. While you caught him in the lie, another woman may not have. Guys, you think you're being slick, playing games that make you look attractive and desirable, but no. We go home, ALONE, and we laugh at all the losers who tried to talk to us that night.Who is to say the lies didn't work on another woman that night?Lying reduces options and lying in relationships builds resentment in the partner being lied to.I disagree with the first part. My ethnicity is not in high demand where I live, but I can visibly pass for another ethnicity that is in demand. Thus, lying provides me opportunities with many women who would not have been options before. I do agree with the second part, and for that reason, I won't lie when pursuing a relationship. The bottom line is that if the lies didn't provide results, men wouldn't be doing it.
elaine567 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 My ethnicity is not in high demand where I live, but I can visibly pass for another ethnicity that is in demand. Thus, lying provides me opportunities with many women who would not have been options before. I do agree with the second part, and for that reason, I won't lie when pursuing a relationship. How do you know the women who you lie to, are not women you may want to pursue a relationship with, and when do you come clean, or do you only lie when you want to hook up?
yarps Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Because most men cant find a woman who they are really into and who they are crazy about, so they figure that they will pretend to be into a girl to get sex and enjoy single life until a woman who knocks their socks off comes along, if that ever happens. It is hard to find that great chemistry. In the meanwhile men have needs, and often the women they can "get" they have no interest in a relationship with these girls, and want sex whilst they are single. The only way to get sex is to lie since most women aren't down for casual. chemistry is a woman thing. 1
yarps Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Except, legit, smart, dating-savvy, authentic women are not idiots. I was on an OLD site and looking at a profile of a guy who messaged me. It said 6.0". Too bad that this dude was stupid enough to lie, and not smart enough to take pictures that didn't show off just how spectacularly short he was. In one photo a young girl was up to his shoulder. I mean, really? I've also met other guys who claim to be "single" and then the flags were immediate. Constant checking of his phone, asking for my number and having me write it on paper instead of putting it in his phone. (The guy wasn't just taken, he was MARRIED. If you're stupid enough to try to pick up women when you're not single, be smart enough not to give out your full name and have a public Facebook page.) Guys, you think you're being slick, playing games that make you look attractive and desirable, but no. We go home, ALONE, and we laugh at all the losers who tried to talk to us that night. If you want an authentic person, be your authentic self. The end. My experiences are women laugh at any guy they aren't attracted to
Shining One Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 How do you know the women who you lie to, are not women you may want to pursue a relationship with, and when do you come clean, or do you only lie when you want to hook up?I only lie to hook up. If I'm using OLD, I will specifically go after women who have already ruled me out for one reason or another. I usually come clean the morning after or within a few days. 1
EgoJoe Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 OP, is lying to herself about something. Everybody lies. It's ego, it's control and is a lot easier than the truth for some people. Recognizing self deception is difficult enough but regulating it is a nightmare.
Auspecial Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I only THINK this way now. Because the girl who called me "The most transparent person on earth" blindsided me and then broke my heart. And after experiencing that pain.... i say **** transparency in relationships... You HAVE to protect yourself first.... You are on LS for a reason... Would you like to experience that pain again? I hope not! Sorry that happened to you. :/ Try to remember that was one person, not representative of *all* people. Yes, its true that you have to protect yourself. But if people start with small lies, they often lead to bigger lies and then a pattern of lying which means their character has changed for the worse. And if you are "caught" in even a small lie, then other things you say will be suspect even if its all the truth. I have experienced love pain numerous times. I guess one reason I am on LS, is I still want connection with other people but I don't have it in a relationship right now.
Vercetti Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I'll say again, thoughts words actions. There is no reason to lie beyond fear of truth blocking what you selfishly wish to gain short term. Ive never had to lie for success in business. Misrepresentation bites you in the ass and destroys reputation. Do not have to screw people over to gain. Any deal can ( if done right ) benifit both parties. If the terms of fair are to wide and not worth neither parties time, walk away and maybe in the future knowing what each desire opportunity will spring up.
Auspecial Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I'm not going to excuse it, because it is stupid, but I think some guys do that because when they were honest, they were shutdown immediately. There are a lot of things that can make someone superficially give up on someone. In turn, I think that makes some people wrongly think that they should hide those things until after the person gets to know them so that it won't drive the other person away. I have a kid, so I make sure that comes up very early (and in OLD I not only check that I have a kid, I write it in the summary to make sure it isn't missed). Long story short, I went on a date with a woman who I had been going on double dates with. Somehow, despite it being front and center on my profile like I said above, neither of the women had realized I had a kid until it came up at the end of double date #2. When I asked the woman on our solo date about it she said "It was a non-deal breaker, deal breaker", which basically meant that if she had realized it before getting to know me, it would have been a non-starter out of the gate. So by them missing my honesty, it actually allowed me to get future dates I wouldn't have if they had noticed it. Hence, why some guys figure it is better to just lie. Me, I'm always honest and that does bite me in the butt sometimes, but I keep being honest. Just relating to this one example, I understand that having a lot of kids could be a deal breaker for some people of both genders. But, its not a deal breaker for *all* people of both genders. So, lying about it turns out to exclude *everyone,* except those few who don't catch the lie and then end up being used and exploited. Because, the ones who didn't see it as a deal breaker, excluded themselves after they were lied to. In my opinion, the reality is, the truth will set you free. Human beings are flawed, all of us. Sometimes we make grave errors, and we can learn from those errors. Tell the truth. Your true friends/partners will be those who accept you for who you are.
Woggle Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 It's not only men that lie. I for one am brutally honest because if you don't like me the way I am then I move on.
wb1988 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Because guys are as*holes! Plain and simple. But not all of us! You white knight creep
PrettyEmily77 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 (edited) I'm sure some men are prize a**h*l*s but they seemed to be in the minority, IME. Most of the guys I've been dating in the last few months seemed pretty chilled and genuine. Didn't work out for other reasons but they were all honest and forthcoming when not wanting to take it further and mostly quite cool when I was the one not interested (with a couple of exceptions). They were all men, as opposed to boys, though - might explain it. Edited March 30, 2015 by PrettyEmily77
runitonce Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 You just described the biggest loser imaginable & now act surprised that he would be liar? Bizarre
runitonce Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 This guy obviously had something going for him or you wouldn't be on here making threads about him? Good looking guy? Good in bed? Something, I'm sure. Men lie to women because it works so much better than telling the truth. I have known a few men that were pathological liars and they all did well with the ladies. Very true. Plenty of women here are saying "this guy I met on OLD lied about his height so I didnt pursue the relationship". But the truth of the matter is, if he'd been honest that his height was 5'8, instead of the 6'0 he claimed, then they wouldnt have given him the time of day in the first place. So the lie got him further than he otherwise would have We can all notice the really obvious lies but I've know some pretty switched on women to be fooled for quite some time before they started to notice something was amiss
Strength in Healing Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I don't know what's worse... The girls calling guys out despite their own gender doing the exact same thing and then some (that's called hypocrisy), or the guys agreeing with them about other guys being so baaaaaad. Sickening. I would say the winner of this pathetic battle would be the guys who are trying to separate themselves from the big "bad" guys. It's sad. 1
Woggle Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I don't know what's worse... The girls calling guys out despite their own gender doing the exact same thing and then some (that's called hypocrisy), or the guys agreeing with them about other guys being so baaaaaad. Sickening. I would say the winner of this pathetic battle would be the guys who are trying to separate themselves from the big "bad" guys. It's sad. Yup. There are enough liars in both genders to go around so need for guys to try and win brownie points.
al78 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I don't know what's worse... The girls calling guys out despite their own gender doing the exact same thing and then some (that's called hypocrisy), It is only hypocrisy if a girl criticises a guy for poor behaviour but also tries to justify the same poor behaviour by a girl when there is no logical reason for the situations being different. In any case just because someone is a hypocrite does not mean their claim is false.
al78 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 If you want an authentic person, be your authentic self. The end. What do you do when being your authentic self gets you nothing?
Strength in Healing Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 (edited) Lol fallacies. Haven't come across those in a minute. Refreshing. However, I was making a statement, little more. You'll know if I start to argue. Save the fallacies for that point. Though not sure of your definition of hypocrisy. See, everyone lies. She has lied. So her calling out guys for lying is hypocrisy. Furthermore, the guys jumping on the bandwagon against other guys for lying, too, is hypocrisy. Your attempt at technicality betrayed you. Edited March 30, 2015 by Strength in Healing
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