Article: Women must approach men these days because men don't have the balls

[preraph]

I'd like to blur the gender lines here a little just on the subject of women wanting men to be confident and proactive. I think that is true overall. But I also think it's true that most women likewise wouldn't want a female friend who was weak and fearful and afraid to be proactive. So it is some about sex, but it also just about wanting to be around people who you can respect because they take responsibility for themselves and determine their own life path instead of standing around passively letting life blow them around because they're too timid to act.

[Maleficent]

Well people stubbornly argue pretty often that going after what you want, making things happen is a masculine thing

 

Sooooooo ask them to elaborate...?

[gaius]

I just saw a woman approach a guy while I was getting dinner and it reminded me of what watching the titanic sink must have looked like. =/ She was trying so hard to get something going, asking him a bunch of questions about himself only to be greeted with yeahs and lots of short answers.

 

I wanted to go into gaius mode and go over to him after she left just to make sure he knew she was interested but she was still a couple of tables over in earshot when I left.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I wonder if all men on earth stopped approaching, would women still be adamantly stubborn about the mans role to be the initiator?

[lollipopspot]

I wanted to go into gaius mode and go over to him after she left just to make sure he knew she was interested but she was still a couple of tables over in earshot when I left.

 

Don't you think he probably knew, but HE wasn't interested in her?

[Gloria25]

I wonder if all men on earth stopped approaching, would women still be adamantly stubborn about the mans role to be the initiator?

 

No, we'd resort to munching each other's carpets....which is pretty much taking place now a days.

 

I have my days where munchin' carpet seems like a good idea...but meh, gotta deal with women and all their emotional hooo-hahs... No thanks

 

Besides, I love men....men are so yummy!!!

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

No, we'd resort to munching each other's carpets....which is pretty much taking place now a days.

 

I have my days where munchin' carpet seems like a good idea...but meh, gotta deal with women and all their emotional hooo-hahs... No thanks

 

Besides, I love men....men are so yummy!!!

 

And still be your passive self like always

[gaius]

Don't you think he probably knew, but HE wasn't interested in her?

Maybe, but I've seen him walking around almost every day since I moved here. Never with a girl, never on the phone with a girl, never texting with anyone. Just walking everywhere by himself. He doesn't strike me as much of a lothario type either. Seemed more like he didn't know what he was doing than a deliberate brush off when he was talking to her.

 

It's another good example of why approaching men is a bad idea in an endless line of them though. If they're not hitting on you already they probably don't know what they're doing or they're not interested.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Maybe, but I've seen him walking around almost every day since I moved here. Never with a girl, never on the phone with a girl, never texting with anyone. Just walking everywhere by himself. He doesn't strike me as much of a lothario type either. Seemed more like he didn't know what he was doing than a deliberate brush off when he was talking to her.

 

It's another good example of why approaching men is a bad idea in an endless line of them though. If they're not hitting on you already they probably don't know what they're doing or they're not interested.

So the man is supposed to like the woman more than the woman likes the man?

[littleplanet]

Aw I just love thread like this to bits. I should drop in on them more often

 

I think any woman who eyeballs any man who just isn't interested in her - could readily enough accuse him of acting like a eunuch, I supoose......

but hell - that doesn't clarify what the real truth of the matter is.

 

.......unless you live in a world where it's automatically expected of all men to act like bulls and jump into bed with anything and anyone.

But a lot of men don't happen to be built that way.

 

Way back in the days of yore, (in the days of my 'pursuance') I must admit I preferred to be the instigator. So I was. Made damned sure I acted first, beat the woman to the punch (though at times this seemed to happen simultaneously) and thereby.....knew where I was.

In short, I was able to actually know I was interested.

And sure, I'm the first to admit that agressive women never really turned me on.

 

But I was never a wallflower waiting for red carpets to be rolled out and come hither eyelash flutters.

 

There are a thousand thousand multifaceted reasons why men might be gun shy these days......men of all ages.

Yet I fail to understand why this might turn the whole thing off - biology being what it is.

No matter what our brains tell us, hormones still command attention.

Not to mention the finer aspirations in life (like actually finding a compatible significant other.)

 

But whatever those multifaceted reasons might be.....even if we tracked every single one of them down and analyzed them to the living death - there is still that all-too-human tendency to personalize the whole damned thing and think that the problem lies with us (being the common demominator in the picture) or on the other hand, just throw in the towel and blame the entire other gender.

 

Which lands one straight into the seething cesspool of generalized poop.

Yuck.

We are not all (thank gawd) made from the same spit. Good.

 

That being the case, I suppose any smartypants can knuckle down and seek the exception (to whatever rule they wish to avoid, no?)

 

(I sure hope amaz'n'grace is reading this - because I know rants like this entertain her somewhat) ......and entertainment is my stock in trade.

 

Ah......the subtle, and the finer points of the great game of life, the pleasures of the chase, the roll of the dice, the seven come elevens, the snake eyes, the craps, the cards, the folded hands, the 'risk management' of it all............

It never offered any more guarantee or warantee than a Vegas holiday.

(as all good Riverboat gamblers would agree.)

 

Some good old Carney barker will always be there to step up and loudly shout they figured it all out.

(They will separate you from hard-earned wages, no doubt) but your good time is entirely up to you.

 

And now I'll step out and avoid trouble.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Another thing, why is it wrong to be bitter and resentful towards women for expecting men to take the lead, be the dominant one?

[toolforgrowth]

Another thing, why is it wrong to be bitter and resentful towards women for expecting men to take the lead, be the dominant one?

 

I think that has more to do with women like a man who is dominant in HIS life. He controls it, knows how to manage it, and isn't looking for someone to take care of him. That, and women do like a guy who can take control in bed too.

 

Contrary to what feminism has spoon fed us for a couple decades now, it's not attractive to women when a man submits to their every whim.

 

If you like a lady, ask her out. The worst is that she'll say no. You can survive that. It's not like you'll be starving to death (first world problems are really kinda silly).

 

But I hold women to that same standard. If you like a guy, ask him out. Don't stick to some silly traditional gender role fantasy and just do it.

[Frank2thepoint]

But I hold women to that same standard. If you like a guy, ask him out. Don't stick to some silly traditional gender role fantasy and just do it.

 

Whoah, quiet down there. Or you'll have a bunch of women holding onto archaic dating practices bash you for being a traitor to womankind. Never suggest to a woman that if they want something, they should go get it.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I think that has more to do with women like a man who is dominant in HIS life. He controls it, knows how to manage it, and isn't looking for someone to take care of him. That, and women do like a guy who can take control in bed too.

 

Contrary to what feminism has spoon fed us for a couple decades now, it's not attractive to women when a man submits to their every whim.

 

If you like a lady, ask her out. The worst is that she'll say no. You can survive that. It's not like you'll be starving to death (first world problems are really kinda silly).

 

But I hold women to that same standard. If you like a guy, ask him out. Don't stick to some silly traditional gender role fantasy and just do it.

What is the god damn logic behind why being dominant, taking charge, taking control, being in charge or being in control are "masculine" things? Who made those rules?

[toolforgrowth]

What is the god damn logic behind why being dominant, taking charge, taking control, being in charge or being in control are "masculine" things? Who made those rules?

 

Evolution. In the wild (or Walking Dead), those who are not dominant are killed and/or eaten by other predators or by more powerful members of the same species. Intelligence can be a strong counter to brute force, but it does you no good if you're too timid to use it.

 

Passivity doesn't get you anything. It doesn't move you forward. Life doesn't HAND you $h!t you want. You are owed nothing, entitled to nothing. If you want it, hunt for it.

 

Let me put it this way. Do you want an angry butch woman with armpit hair and who eschews deodorant? Or do you want a feminine woman who grooms and acts like a lady?

 

Now turn it around. What do you think women want? A tough guy who can navigate the world on his own recognizance? Or a passive guy who waits for the generosity of those more powerful than he to improve his lot?

[toolforgrowth]

Whoah, quiet down there. Or you'll have a bunch of women holding onto archaic dating practices bash you for being a traitor to womankind. Never suggest to a woman that if they want something, they should go get it.

 

I can't be traitor...I'm not a woman. Women bash me here all the time. I'm okay with it. I don't take it personally. What they're really bashing is the fact that I don't always agree with them, and vocally challenge their convictions.

 

Sure, women are great. But they don't rule the universe, nor does it revolve around them. Some of them like to think that's true, but we all know better.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Evolution. In the wild (or Walking Dead), those who are not dominant are killed and/or eaten by other predators or by more powerful members of the same species. Intelligence can be a strong counter to brute force, but it does you no good if you're too timid to use it.

 

Passivity doesn't get you anything. It doesn't move you forward. Life doesn't HAND you $h!t you want. You are owed nothing, entitled to nothing. If you want it, hunt for it.

 

Let me put it this way. Do you want an angry butch woman with armpit hair and who eschews deodorant? Or do you want a feminine woman who grooms and acts like a lady?

 

Now turn it around. What do you think women want? A tough guy who can navigate the world on his own recognizance? Or a passive guy who waits for the generosity of those more powerful than he to improve his lot?

Yup, if anything, women are the only sex that are entitled, owed things in life

[toolforgrowth]

Yup, if anything, women are the only sex that are entitled, owed things in life

 

But they're not. Some of them think that, and will try to convince you of it, and will even call you a misogynist for disagreeing with them. But the bottom line is they're not.

 

If woman wants something, my response is exactly the same as when a man wants something: "Go out and get it yourself."

 

I'm okay with paid maternity leave and public breastfeeding. Never had an issue with either one of those. But beyond that, the world doesn't owe them $h!t, no more than it owes me $h!t.

 

One you start taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness, you'll begin placing that same expectation upon others. Some won't like it and will continue to demand stuff. Just ignore them.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

But they're not. Some of them think that, and will try to convince you of it, and will even call you a misogynist for disagreeing with them. But the bottom line is they're not.

 

If woman wants something, my response is exactly the same as when a man wants something: "Go out and get it yourself."

 

I'm okay with paid maternity leave and public breastfeeding. Never had an issue with either one of those. But beyond that, the world doesn't owe them $h!t, no more than it owes me $h!t.

 

One you start taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness, you'll begin placing that same expectation upon others. Some won't like it and will continue to demand stuff. Just ignore them.

 

go out and get it yourself? not really, that doesn't apply to women since women don't have to actively pursue guys themselves

[toolforgrowth]

go out and get it yourself? not really, that doesn't apply to women since women don't have to actively pursue guys themselves

 

That is an equal expectation for BOTH genders. You don't want that expectation to be distributed between the sexes equally; you want the women to do ALL the pursuing so you don't have to. Big difference there, pal.

 

If YOU want a woman, go out and get one. That's YOUR issue, not theirs.

[jay1983]

go out and get it yourself? not really, that doesn't apply to women since women don't have to actively pursue guys themselves

 

IDK when women meet or even see a man they want, they go after him pretty hard.

 

Every chick who was interested in me called and text me a lot.

[toolforgrowth]

IDK when women meet or even see a man they want, they go after him pretty hard.

 

Every chick who was interested in me called and text me a lot.

 

Some women do this, some don't. I've definitely had it happen before. My current GF reached out to me first, and let me know she was interested in getting to know me. I was flattered and intrigued, so I set up a date and we totally hit it off.

 

That experience is picture perfect. She took initiative in introducing herself, and I took initiative in asking her out and setting up a date. Both of us took a risk and put ourselves out there. And I'm really glad we both took that risk.

 

You won't get anywhere in life by being afraid and playing it safe.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

That is an equal expectation for BOTH genders. You don't want that expectation to be distributed between the sexes equally; you want the women to do ALL the pursuing so you don't have to. Big difference there, pal.

 

If YOU want a woman, go out and get one. That's YOUR issue, not theirs.

 

Well its just men get shunned, berated, criticised by reality, life, society, culture for not being a go-getter and it gets irritating as hell

[Gloria25]

Well its just men get shunned, berated, criticised by reality, life, society, culture for not being a go-getter and it gets irritating as hell

 

And women get shunned if you're not pretty, tall, smart or whatever enough...

 

We also get shunned if we don't want and/or have kids and/or a husband ever and/or by a certain age.

 

We women get labled as "desperate", "psycho", "needy", "aggressive" if we dare initiate and approach men.

 

Like toolofgrowth stated, there are expectations on both genders here you know...

 

Right now, I'm considering how I approach a dude to show him I'm interested w/o coming off as aggressive and/or him thinking I'm a ho, hooker, or floozy. I mean, I just wanna freakin' see if I get laid here and haven't gotten any in over two years!!! Gimmie a break!!!

 

So, complain all you want, we women don't have it easy either.

Edited May 14, 2015 by Gloria25

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Some women do this, some don't. I've definitely had it happen before. My current GF reached out to me first, and let me know she was interested in getting to know me. I was flattered and intrigued, so I set up a date and we totally hit it off.

 

That experience is picture perfect. She took initiative in introducing herself, and I took initiative in asking her out and setting up a date. Both of us took a risk and put ourselves out there. And I'm really glad we both took that risk.

 

You won't get anywhere in life by being afraid and playing it safe.

Well god bless her, I will admit, asking out and setting up a date does not irritate me as much as always having to initiate conversation first, or just approach first, break the ice and go over and talk to her first