Everyone is going to chew me up after this one...

[Jonp219]

Have you ever seen the movie "the Sixth Sense"?

 

If not, please stop reading as I'm about to give a huge SPOILER here!

 

But assuming you've seen it........... and therefore can continue reading this post...........

 

I will say that you're like Bruce Willis in that movie. Do you understand what I'm saying? Your relationship IS ALREADY OVER. It ended when she broke up with you.

 

The problem is: YOU'RE A GHOST and you don't know you're a ghost.

 

The relationship is over.

 

It was likely over way way before she broke up with you! Most people don't end a relationship until they've ALREADY MOVED ON.

 

You're a ghost.

 

You just can't accept it yet!

 

Go to the light, JonP.

 

For the love of all things holy...... go toward the light!

 

Yes, I have seen that movie lol

And no, it wasn't over before she broke up with me, it was on the brink, but it wasn't over. How do I know this? I'm very observant, I'm good at reading people to an extent. We were still in tact even after our giant argument, but I gave her a week to think and that's where I messed up lol

[Jonp219]

You ABUSED HER.

 

So, pretty much any positive things you brought to that relationship are null and void.

 

Also, she says she's *scared* of you now.

 

You are a great person with many great qualities and have the potential to have great relationships with other awesome women.

 

However, you MUST work on your abuse issues first.

 

And you will NEVER have a relationship with this girl again.

 

Cool. If you say so

[Ruby65]

Yes, I have seen that movie lol

And no, it wasn't over before she broke up with me, it was on the brink, but it wasn't over. How do I know this? I'm very observant, I'm good at reading people to an extent. We were still in tact even after our giant argument, but I gave her a week to think and that's where I messed up lol

 

She had gone for a long, long time slowly secretly emotionally detaching from you, my observant friend.

[Jonp219]

She had gone for a long, long time slowly secretly emotionally detaching from you, my observant friend.

 

 

I'm sure you know her better than I do lol

[Ruby65]

I'm sure you know her better than I do lol

 

I'm sure most people know her better than you do.

 

Please stop thinking you know better than all the people here! That's just an easy out to ignore all the tons and tons of good advice you've been given.... and for some reason continue to discard?

[Jonp219]

I'm sure most people know her better than you do.

 

Please stop thinking you know better than all the people here! That's just an easy out to ignore all the tons and tons of good advice you've been given.... and for some reason continue to discard?

 

No, I think you need to stop doing that. You give good advice sometimes, but you swear you know everything about every situation, and you don't. Knock it off please. It's not amusing.

 

The only thing I'm discarding is you're stupid assumptions.

[Jimmyjackson]

You're beyond delusion...

[Jonp219]

Not to mention you're slick ass remarks

[Jonp219]

You're beyond delusion...

 

Maybe I am. Maybe I'll find myself in a grave after all this is over. The possibilities are endless.

[Simon Phoenix]

Yes, I have seen that movie lol

And no, it wasn't over before she broke up with me, it was on the brink, but it wasn't over. How do I know this? I'm very observant, I'm good at reading people to an extent. We were still in tact even after our giant argument, but I gave her a week to think and that's where I messed up lol

 

If you truly believe this, you aren't as observant as you think. You were with this woman for 4.5 years, there's no way that the whole process of coming to terms with breaking up with you took a week. This was likely building for months, and that week was when she decided to finally pull the trigger.

 

Yes, you know her better than we do. But you are also blinded by your own feelings and aren't looking at the whole picture, just the narrow tunnel that you see it in. Third-party perspectives are valuable because when you get too involved with something, you often limit your focus to an extent where you can't see the forest for the trees. That's exactly where you are right now. Your closeness to the situation makes you blind to things that people with a fresh perspective can pick up on.

 

You can mouth off in this thread all you want, but that's just another way for you to stay in the muck -- a muck that you'll do anything to stay in.

[Jimmyjackson]

Maybe I am. Maybe I'll find myself in a grave after all this is over. The possibilities are endless.

 

You're just making a huge deal over nothing. Talk about an overreaction. You got dumped, it's not the end of the world and you will survive.

[Jonp219]

If you truly believe this, you aren't as observant as you think. You were with this woman for 4.5 years, there's no way that the whole process of coming to terms with breaking up with you took a week. This was likely building for months, and that week was when she decided to finally pull the trigger.

 

Yes, you know her better than we do. But you are also blinded by your own feelings and aren't looking at the whole picture, just the narrow tunnel that you see it in. Third-party perspectives are valuable because when you get too involved with something, you often limit your focus to an extent where you can't see the forest for the trees. That's exactly where you are right now. Your closeness to the situation makes you blind to things that people with a fresh perspective can pick up on.

 

You can mouth off in this thread all you want, but that's just another way for you to stay in the muck -- a muck that you'll do anything to stay in.

 

If that's true then why was she mouthing off on her social media about me for over a month on twitter about how much she disliked me?

 

Why did we go on that getaway in January and have a good time?

 

It took her no more than a month to build that up. If we didn't stop talking for that week we would of still been together. Stupid me gave her space to think, that's where I messed up.

[Jonp219]

You're just making a huge deal over nothing. Talk about an overreaction. You got dumped, it's not the end of the world and you will survive.

 

Overreaction you say? I had 2 panic attacks at work today.I don't know how I'm going to get through this summer without her.

[Simon Phoenix]

If that's true then why was she mouthing off on her social media about me for over a month on twitter about how much she disliked me?

 

Why did we go on that getaway in January and have a good time?

 

It took her no more than a month to build that up. If we didn't stop talking for that week we would of still been together. Stupid me gave her space to think, that's where I messed up.

 

You can have a good time while also realizing that you wanted out. Hell, I bet she was hoping that January getaway would change the building thoughts in her mind that she needed to leave you. Maybe it temporarily helped, but the feelings that brought about the end of your relationship were back when you guys came back.

 

You're being intentionally obtuse right now. It's understandable, but you'll eventually realize the folly of what you are trying to argue. You're a bundle of emotions and all over the place. If you truly believe that harassing her for a week would have kept her with you, then you've lost it. And I have to agree with whoever said that you're being selfish right now. It's all about you, you, you -- you don't really seem to care about this woman at all. You just want her back because it will make you feel better. I know you'll deny this, but that's how your posts read.

 

I mean, I get why you are flying off the handle and being irrational, but it's not going to do you any good. In many ways, it sounds like the behavior you are exhibiting right now was the base of why she left you. That's more reason why you need to chill out and stop -- you haven't changed (not that anyone will in a month), you have no new perspective, no new understanding. You're emoting and lashing out out of fear, ego, primal desire. You need time to process this and actually LEARN. You haven't started this process -- you're so desperately trying to glue Humpty-Dumpty together that you are breaking more.

 

Please start trying to recover and evolve.

[Simon Phoenix]

Overreaction you say? I had 2 panic attacks at work today.I don't know how I'm going to get through this summer without her.

 

Yes, you had two panic attacks -- because you broke No Contact and reached a new low. Like I said in the beginning of this thread, don't double down on dumb. Look at you -- you're an absolute emoting mess right now. Even if you had any way to get her back, do you honestly believe she'd come back to you with you acting like this? She'd run even further for the hills.

 

You jumped the gun and now you are experiencing the fallout of your foolish decision to contact her. Everything you are doing, feeling, and saying is Exhibit A on why breaking No Contact before recovery is absolutely a terrible idea.

[Jonp219]

You can have a good time while also realizing that you wanted out. Hell, I bet she was hoping that January getaway would change the building thoughts in her mind that she needed to leave you. Maybe it temporarily helped, but the feelings that brought about the end of your relationship were back when you guys came back.

 

You're being intentionally obtuse right now. It's understandable, but you'll eventually realize the folly of what you are trying to argue. You're a bundle of emotions and all over the place. If you truly believe that harassing her for a week would have kept her with you, then you've lost it. And I have to agree with whoever said that you're being selfish right now. It's all about you, you, you -- you don't really seem to care about this woman at all. You just want her back because it will make you feel better. I know you'll deny this, but that's how your posts read.

 

I mean, I get why you are flying off the handle and being irrational, but it's not going to do you any good. In many ways, it sounds like the behavior you are exhibiting right now was the base of why she left you. That's more reason why you need to chill out and stop -- you haven't changed (not that anyone will in a month), you have no new perspective, no new understanding. You're emoting and lashing out out of fear, ego, primal desire. You need time to process this and actually LEARN. You haven't started this process -- you're so desperately trying to glue Humpty-Dumpty together that you are breaking more.

 

Please start trying to recover and evolve.

 

Maybe I am selfish. Only an idiot who isn't in love would want their former significant other to be happy in someone else arms. I don't care, if I ever saw her on the street with another dude I would punch him right in his mouth. That's how I feel right now, that's how angry I am. She's not seeing anyone right now, but still, I'll lose it. Call that selfish, call that whatever you want, I don't care what you label it.

 

Just thinking how casual that convo was makes me sick to my stomach. What a complete joke I've become, I'm ashamed of myself. The love just disappeared before my very eyes, now all that's left is me. Wish I could just tell her I'm sorry for failing as a boyfriend. Sorry for being a complete and utter joke in her eyes.

 

This is the 3rd time I'm braking down into tears at work. I've never been this low in my life.

[BC1980]

I'm sure you know her better than I do lol

 

I'm sure none of us know her better than she knows herself.

[xpaperxcutx]

Maybe I am selfish. Only an idiot who isn't in love would want their former significant other to be happy in someone else arms. I don't care, if I ever saw her on the street with another dude I would punch him right in his mouth. That's how I feel right now, that's how angry I am. She's not seeing anyone right now, but still, I'll lose it. Call that selfish, call that whatever you want, I don't care what you label it.

 

Just thinking how casual that convo was makes me sick to my stomach. What a complete joke I've become, I'm ashamed of myself. The love just disappeared before my very eyes, now all that's left is me. Wish I could just tell her I'm sorry for failing as a boyfriend. Sorry for being a complete and utter joke in her eyes.

 

This is the 3rd time I'm braking down into tears at work. I've never been this low in my life.

 

That's sick. That's dysfunctional thinking. If your ex decides to be with another guy, it's her right. Punching out the new bf would make you a psychopath.

[Jonp219]

That's sick. That's dysfunctional thinking. If your ex decides to be with another guy, it's her right. Punching out the new bf would make you a psychopath.

 

Then she better not say hi to me when she's with him *shrugs*

You burned a hole through my heart, keep your distance.

At this point I REALLY have absolutely NOTHING to lose lol

[Simon Phoenix]

Maybe I am selfish. Only an idiot who isn't in love would want their former significant other to be happy in someone else arms. I don't care, if I ever saw her on the street with another dude I would punch him right in his mouth. That's how I feel right now, that's how angry I am. She's not seeing anyone right now, but still, I'll lose it. Call that selfish, call that whatever you want, I don't care what you label it.

 

Just thinking how casual that convo was makes me sick to my stomach. What a complete joke I've become, I'm ashamed of myself. The love just disappeared before my very eyes, now all that's left is me. Wish I could just tell her I'm sorry for failing as a boyfriend. Sorry for being a complete and utter joke in her eyes.

 

This is the 3rd time I'm braking down into tears at work. I've never been this low in my life.

 

The fact that you'd attack another man who was dating/hanging out with your ex shows that you haven't done one thing to correct what was wrong. Saying your sorry for failing as a boyfriend wouldn't mean a thing because if you were put back in that situation, you'd fail again.

 

The only solution is moving forward, is realizing what you can improve and actually DOING IT. I'm not sure you truly realize what you need to improve and I can say for a fact that you haven't done anything to improve or evolve.

[Simon Phoenix]

Then she better not say hi to me when she's with him *shrugs*

You burned a hole through my heart, keep your distance.

At this point I REALLY have absolutely NOTHING to lose lol

 

Stop. You're posting complete ridiculousness at this point. Maybe you should go outside, take a walk or something, just get off this site for a while.

[Farid]

I can't move on. I'm just so attached to this girl. As sick as it sounds I feel like she's my ****ing life line.

 

I know how u feel buddy. mine feels like this "waking up every morning and having your whole family shot in front of your eyes. again and again and again!".

I'm on antidepressants and it has been more than 3 months now and I still can't sleep without sleeping meds.

 

but this much I know. I'll live again. I'll know happiness again. I'm just waiting for this damn 5 stages of grief to be over. some are literally chemical processes that you have to sit through, or in our case, fight through.

recently they put drug addicts and people in love in one of them fancy scans, when shown the substance (in our case Her), the reaction of the brain was identical!

 

what helped me was to finally realize that she contributed to the breakup too, and more importantly, she stopped loving me.

that was the turning point for me.

I'm still desperately in love; I'd still take a bullet to be with her, but rationally I know she doesn't deserve love like this. I'm sure as hell I'll move on, I'll love again and I'll be happy again. and this time I'll make another girl spectacularly happy.

right now I'm in hell, but the fire is burning my sins away as well. it's making me a better man. I'm learning from my mistakes and I'm gonna apply all of this to my next relationship.

 

that's my silver lining.

find yours.

[Jonp219]

The fact that you'd attack another man who was dating/hanging out with your ex shows that you haven't done one thing to correct what was wrong. Saying your sorry for failing as a boyfriend wouldn't mean a thing because if you were put back in that situation, you'd fail again.

 

The only solution is moving forward, is realizing what you can improve and actually DOING IT. I'm not sure you truly realize what you need to improve and I can say for a fact that you haven't done anything to improve or evolve.

 

Evolve from what, this? No obviously not. Evolve in other parts of myself, yes. Tell me a guy who wouldn't punch their exes new boyfriend 2 months after a break up. And if there is such a creature, he's trying WAY to hard to not look bad in front of her. She already left me, why try to look good in front of her to no avail? I'm not getting her back so why care?

Edited March 28, 2015 by Jonp219

[Simon Phoenix]

Evolve from what, this? No obviously not. Evolve in other parts of myself, yes. Tell me a guy who wouldn't punch their exes new boyfriend 2 months after a break up. And if there is such a creature, he's trying WAY to hard to not look bad in front of her. She already left me, why try to look good in front of her to no avail? I'm not getting her back so why care.

 

Plenty of people wouldn't do that. In fact, most of the people I know wouldn't do that. Because that's what petulant children and steroid-induced meatheads do. It's not his fault that she dumped you (if he existed), so why the hell would you punch him? Would I be happy about seeing an ex with a new guy? Of course not. But I sure as sh*t wouldn't punch him because I'm an adult. And you do realize that by acting like that you'd be driving her further from you and closer to him, right?

 

I think you need to log off and clear your head. You're sounding like a complete ass right now because you are in an emotionally-charged state.

[Jonp219]

Plenty of people wouldn't do that. In fact, most of the people I know wouldn't do that. Because that's what petulant children and steroid-induced meatheads do. It's not his fault that she dumped you (if he existed), so why the hell would you punch him? Would I be happy about seeing an ex with a new guy? Of course not. But I sure as sh*t wouldn't punch him because I'm an adult. And you do realize that by acting like that you'd be driving her further from you and closer to him, right?

 

I think you need to log off and clear your head. You're sounding like a complete ass right now because you are in an emotionally-charged state.

 

If she's with him why should I care? The moment she enters a new relationship she's absolutely dead to me, forever. I'm not friends with ANY of my exes, and I never will be, that's dumb.

 

I'm working a double and I don't have a break till 9. This site is ALL I have right now.