Lovebug66 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I had not read Lion Heart's post before I posted, and she makes a really good point that I forgot - never act surprised, never give her too much info. All I did was ask for her side of the story and the first line of her email was about how they had been coworkers, my WH had said she was a customer. I knew her! This was a huge bombshell for me and I could have blown my chance at getting even more info from her if I would have said to her what I said to my BFF in the heat of the moment. She tells a cautionary tale about how things could go too - you are NOT friends. We could have understanding and empathy for each other and learn some truths that could help both of us move forward, but that's as far as it needed to go. I think we sent about 4 emails a piece and it lasted a few days. She did write me a few months later apologizing again and asking how I was doing and wished me well. I didn't reply for about a week and just said I was ok, that I forgave her and I thought it was best if we didn't speak anymore. We haven't almost three years later. I know I am extremely fortunate in the way things turned out for me, do not expect that to happen for you!! You never know what you may be dealing with. I knew in my gut the OW in my case wasn't some nut job because of a lot of the other factors involved. There is no cut and dry answer, you need to take into consideration a lot of different things before you decide what to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Well in my case I received more info from the MOW than I would have ever gotten from my spineless POS WS. I am thankful to the MOW in my case. I would probably want to know what she has to say, but be prepared for brutal details if you do want to find out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 how will you feel is she is attractive? do you expect her to respect you? she will be dolled up and out for herself i was, much to my profound shame forty years later Link to post Share on other sites
Author I4givehim Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 how will you feel is she is attractive? do you expect her to respect you? she will be dolled up and out for herself i was, much to my profound shame forty years later She is far from attractive. Blahaha..... Makes me feel better about myself. I told him he must have done her from behind because there is no way you could look at her face. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author I4givehim Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 After all the suggestions have you decided what you are going to do? We emailed each other. She answered all my questions. It gave me clarity to a lot of things that happened over the past year. My H won't answer any questions. He thinks we should forget about it and just go on with our lives. I can't do that. Link to post Share on other sites
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