Author guitar Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 Go No Contact, stick to No Contact. Read the guides. Your drama queen ex is using you to feel better about herself, that's all. She's looking for ways to justify her decision.... to look like less of "the bad guy" for dumping you and breaking your heart. Also, she wants the comfort and ego strokes of knowing you're still there for her.... for as long as she wants you there. WHEN she finds her next boyfriend, all contact will stop. For some people, it isn't until this final step happens that they can begin to detach and see their ex clearly.... don't be one of those guys. I wouldn't know if she was dating someone anyway, so I guess this one is on me. I know that it was a painful decision for her to break it off with me; the stress even affected her health, in very obvious ways (believe me). But she made her decision. Like I said, more and more of the time, I can say and believe: "She quit, that's it!" And I'm starting to spend time with a lovely new girl who is VERY understanding of where I'm at. That helps a lot, and No Contact is going to help her too, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Wow.... forget about you, now I feel sorry for this poor new girl in your life! Please stay single until you're over your obvious love for your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guitar Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 (edited) Wow.... forget about you, now I feel sorry for this poor new girl in your life! Please stay single until you're over your obvious love for your ex. She's kind of in a similar place, so... People with broken hearts are allowed to casually date! Edited March 30, 2015 by guitar Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Then in all fairness you should let her read what you're posting here about your ex, who you obviously want to get back together with! I don't know many women who'd want more than a FWB arrangement with someone who's still in love with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guitar Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 Then in all fairness you should let her read what you're posting here about your ex, who you obviously want to get back together with! I don't know many women who'd want more than a FWB arrangement with someone who's still in love with someone else. We're both cautious, and we're open and honest about what is going on, and it IS a casual relationship, for the moment. Believe me, I share your concerns, and HER concerns! Like I said, we're in a similar place, and the communication is good. My ex isn't coming back, I'm increasingly sure of it, and I'm trying to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Cool, then if you're all open and honest, you should have no problem letting her read your posts -- because I don't know any woman who'd want more than FWB relationship with someone who's writing the way you are about your ex! Sadly, people fall into rebound relationships and end up inadvertantly hurting "sweet girls" and "nice guys"..... but there's no way you should be dating anyone right now, mister. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guitar Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 (edited) Cool, then if you're all open and honest, you should have no problem letting her read your posts -- because I don't know any woman who'd want more than FWB relationship with someone who's writing the way you are about your ex! Sadly, people fall into rebound relationships and end up inadvertantly hurting "sweet girls" and "nice guys"..... but there's no way you should be dating anyone right now, mister. You might ultimately be right, but I haven't written anything here that I wouldn't tell her. She doesn't want ALL of the information, and I don't want ALL of the information about her ex either. If the earth split open and one of our exes popped out, neither one of us knows for sure what would happen, and that's on the table for both of us. Is that problematic? Sure. Mutually. Ruby, you're great, and I genuinely take your (and others' ) advice to heart, and I'm incorporating it. Thank you. It's a rough time in my life. Edited March 30, 2015 by guitar Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 That's exactly the kind of rationalization that leads to hurting someone through a rebound relationship. You should let her read this thread. It's obvious you're still in love with your ex and want to get back together with her, and would if you had the chance. I don't know any woman that would want to be with someone -- even casually -- when they clearly are still in love with someone else! Link to post Share on other sites
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