BlackbirdSong Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 what we would dance to at our wedding etc. just last week, and now gone. thats whats hard, all these long term goals of hers for us just vanished ... strange to me. My ex and I ATTENDED her cousin's wedding two weeks before she left me. We were talking about how our wedding would be different, what it would look like, who would attend, music, etc. I was so in love with her at that moment. Two weeks later. Ghost..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty2049 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Share Posted March 21, 2015 My ex and I ATTENDED her cousin's wedding two weeks before she left me. We were talking about how our wedding would be different, what it would look like, who would attend, music, etc. I was so in love with her at that moment. Two weeks later. Ghost..... how did you cope with that blackbird? because we attended my sisters wedding on new years eve and it was the exact same thing... we talked about our wedding etc. 3 months later, ghost. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackbirdSong Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 how did you cope with that blackbird? because we attended my sisters wedding on new years eve and it was the exact same thing... we talked about our wedding etc. 3 months later, ghost. If you've read any of my other posts you'd know that I'm not coping well...at all. It's been 6 weeks since I've heard from her and I'm still dying, over analyzing, mourning. I've been making positive changes to myself because that's pretty much all I can do. I know her very well, so I'm hoping (the worst, most destructive idea/word in the English language) that this is a phase and she'll be back. Like a moron, I keep thinking that if I proposed right after we attended the wedding, things would have been better because she was ready to marry NOW. My heart keeps saying that, but my mind knows better. It's funny (not really), but I've looked back and have noticed a very scary trend. I've had three long term relationships end immediately following the attendance of a wedding. My new rule is to NEVER attend a wedding with a significant other. The aftermath only leads to problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty2049 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Share Posted March 21, 2015 If you've read any of my other posts you'd know that I'm not coping well...at all. It's been 6 weeks since I've heard from her and I'm still dying, over analyzing, mourning. I've been making positive changes to myself because that's pretty much all I can do. I know her very well, so I'm hoping (the worst, most destructive idea/word in the English language) that this is a phase and she'll be back. Like a moron, I keep thinking that if I proposed right after we attended the wedding, things would have been better because she was ready to marry NOW. My heart keeps saying that, but my mind knows better. It's funny (not really), but I've looked back and have noticed a very scary trend. I've had three long term relationships end immediately following the attendance of a wedding. My new rule is to NEVER attend a wedding with a significant other. The aftermath only leads to problems. ah man no good.... well in my case, when i thought she disappeared (the first time) and on top of that for another guy, she came back about 2 weeks later. i did however initiate contact with her through email, but still, i didnt beg for her or force her to come back, i only told her what would change, and it did, dramatically. then i got crushed again. have you initiated any sort of contact with her? i find that no contact works, but only depending on the girl. she told me that if i hadnt of messaged her, theres a good chance she might not have called me.. looking back i think that is total bull**** because she said she missed me the whole time. anyway what do you want? do you want her back? because even after all of this ****, all i can think about is her and what i wanted from our relationship and what she recently told me she wanted. it haunts me. i have dreams about her nightly. i wake up at odd times in the night, stuck awake for sometimes an hour before falling back asleep. today i woke up at 6:34 am... her flight to cuba left with her family at 6:35... it was like an omen in my mind, honestly. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackbirdSong Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 ah man no good.... well in my case, when i thought she disappeared (the first time) and on top of that for another guy, she came back about 2 weeks later. i did however initiate contact with her through email, but still, i didnt beg for her or force her to come back, i only told her what would change, and it did, dramatically. then i got crushed again. have you initiated any sort of contact with her? i find that no contact works, but only depending on the girl. she told me that if i hadnt of messaged her, theres a good chance she might not have called me.. looking back i think that is total bull**** because she said she missed me the whole time. anyway what do you want? do you want her back? because even after all of this ****, all i can think about is her and what i wanted from our relationship and what she recently told me she wanted. it haunts me. i have dreams about her nightly. i wake up at odd times in the night, stuck awake for sometimes an hour before falling back asleep. today i woke up at 6:34 am... her flight to cuba left with her family at 6:35... it was like an omen in my mind, honestly. I have not tried to initiate any type of contact with her, mostly out of fear. She basically broke up with me over text and the last thing she wrote was to the gist of "we will talk someday, i'm sure. Just not now". I have no idea when someday is. I actually thought she'd be back in two weeks. It's now going on six (day 40). She said she needed to learn to be happy independently because she has high anxiety and some codependency issues. What do I want? I want her to be my wife. I want her to be the mother of my kids. Will that ever happen? At this point in my journey, I think I've lost a serious amount of faith. I'm teetering back and forth about breaking NC, but as she was the dumper, I was putting the ball in her court. I'm so ****ed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty2049 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Share Posted March 21, 2015 I have not tried to initiate any type of contact with her, mostly out of fear. She basically broke up with me over text and the last thing she wrote was to the gist of "we will talk someday, i'm sure. Just not now". I have no idea when someday is. I actually thought she'd be back in two weeks. It's now going on six (day 40). She said she needed to learn to be happy independently because she has high anxiety and some codependency issues. What do I want? I want her to be my wife. I want her to be the mother of my kids. Will that ever happen? At this point in my journey, I think I've lost a serious amount of faith. I'm teetering back and forth about breaking NC, but as she was the dumper, I was putting the ball in her court. I'm so ****ed. well, if you really really want her back, i suggest writing her a little email.. thats what i did with my ex.. it made her heart wander, she left that guy and came back to me (as you saw in the story) .. she said if i hadnt of written that email, she might not have called.. i dont believe that, as she is the type of woman who reacts on impulse. if yours is the same way, then a nicely worded email about "what you have learned" is the way to go. if you dont hear back, then you got your answer, but it took her 3-4 days to call me after the email.. even when she called, i poured my heart out to her and she told me "well, i am happy with him now, i am sorry but we cant be together or try again".. then the next day literally she called looking for me crying.. lol women are strange man, they say one thing, sound like they mean it, then they buckle and cant take it anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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