spanz1 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Usually exhaustion, or because baby is in the bed between us. . Duh, get the baby the heck out of your bed. this is not rocket science. Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 To the couples in a sexless marriage, how can there not be times when you are so horny you are climbing the walls? Of all of those times there wasn't a time your significant other rolled over in bed wanting it right then and there? There wasn't times you came out of the shower, or they came out of the shower or you watched them change or saw a sexy outfit on them.......etc? How can you go off sex in a marriage at such a young age? Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 To the couples in a sexless marriage, how can there not be times when you are so horny you are climbing the walls? Of all of those times there wasn't a time your significant other rolled over in bed wanting it right then and there? There wasn't times you came out of the shower, or they came out of the shower or you watched them change or saw a sexy outfit on them.......etc? How can you go off sex in a marriage at such a young age? Because there are issues that they can not resolve. Link to post Share on other sites
Pauduro Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 How often do you have sex? Is it just when you go out of town, or are those just times to be louder away from kid? My wife wants sex everyday. Us getting out of town used to be once in awhile, that turned into very often. We find it more exciting going to new places and also to avoid running into family or friends. When out of town, my wife is daring. This turns me on. She'll wear something classy sexy to dinner but enjoys wearing short tight club wear dresses and heels to a bar or the club. She's wet the whole night we're out. And yes also to get loud. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 In the realm of total celibacy, I didn't go off sex but, when the love died, it felt completely different and the desire for frequency died with the love. It became more like what my exW had spoken of many times, sport-fµcking. Nice in the moment but meh, the afterglow was like the deep black of space.... Fortunately, few men are wired this way so, generally, such issues like that won't occur. Barring physical issues, men are generally 'up' for sex. I think one tell-tale sign of my anomalous behavior was my dislike for 'make-up' sex. Yeah, making love was nice after issues were resolved but not as a band-aid to resolve the underlying issues. I had great difficulty separating the emotional content from the physical and, in general, this is not an issue for most men. Carhill, that's a cool description. I believe my bf is like you. He told me that in the past, when he broke up with someone he loved or the relationship broke down, if he sought out a random sexual encounter, he couldn't perform. He said it was because his heart was still too loyal to the person and his body wouldn't let him do it. Link to post Share on other sites
halfglassofwine Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Can't believe nobody said boredom. Sex isn't really that exciting. Other than needing to release once a week, sex is boring to me. It's the same person and eventually everything is routine. My wife is always willing, but I'm not that interested. Rather work on projects. Maybe I'm spoiled. Novelty wears off when you don't have to work for it. Have you ever heard of asexuality? I am asexual btw Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Have you ever heard of asexuality? I am asexual btw I'm assuming that you are either single or you at least informed your partner of this fact. Link to post Share on other sites
mrstang69 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 The wife is never interested. She says its not important to her. There are 11yrs between us and I'm the older one. I love making love to her but only because I am In love with her very much. She kills the mood and says she is not "mushy-mushy" all the time. I'm sorry if all I wanted was a kiss or hug or just for her to text I LOVE YOU. Should I just give up with the whole being in love with her and stop caring to do things for her? Don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Thegameoflife Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Have you ever heard of asexuality? I am asexual btw I'm familiar with it. I wouldn't say I'm asexual, just sex with my wife isn't rewarding. She likes being pleased, but doesn't reciprocate the desire to please. She just does what she thinks she needs to, to get sex. I want passion from her. The lack of passion killed my passion. I'm not a hypocrite though. I actually taught her how to orgasm with ease and intensity. I believe the problem is that she's bisexual. She loves being pleased by me, but she only has passion for women. I'm a very perceptive person, and I can see how she gets butterflies from a pretty woman. I never see that desire for me, but only the desire for the pleasure she receives. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Have you ever heard of asexuality? I am asexual btw Is this your own conclusion or have you been diagnosed? Assuming you recognize asexuality as a sexual orientation, most studies indicate it's very rare at approximately 1% of the population... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Hyonlife Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I'm 33, she's 29. We once had a thriving sex life until deciding to have children which is paradoxical. Our child was just over 2years ago and we have another due later in the year. In between those events where I can understand the fatigue and hormonally driven disinterest (if we're allowing excuses), we have had actual sex easily fewer than once a month. While I am big on foreplay and taking the time, she is happier watching TV and will literally fall asleep on the couch watching all kinds of tripe; the quickie option would be great if she wasn't thinking of England. Being honest, I have to take a fair amount of the blame these days because I rarely initiate and refuse when she has dozed off on the couch or complained about being tired. This last part is not during pregnancy - I'm not that cold. We have kind of discussed the lack of sex but nothing ever comes of it. For instance, sex is actually penetrative sex, that's all. As far as options go, there aren't many and if she isn't 'in the mood' for the intercourse variety, I have been made to feel guilty masturbating in the bed so I leave. Over time, I have discovered that the more I do, suggest or try in bed, the less she wants to participate. As far as having her help with the relief, she has said several times she firstly didn't know guys liked it and secondly, wasn't sure how to do it. On the surface, I understood this position...until I stumbled across a video she took of herself and an ex and she was very enthusiastically giving a hand job most guys would like. I do not know how we came to the point of having a largely sexless relationship but I do know it affects a great deal of our relationship in all kinds of ways 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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