Break up with girlfriend

[LivinDeadGrl]

By the sounds of it, you dodged a bullet. I would consider yourself blessed.

[totenkopf]

About the girl, there's no point to waste time analyzing her actions. She is clearly a piece of art. I'm not envy with anyone who have her and i also don't envy her child, to be dragged into instability childhood because "mom is nuts".

 

But It's you who should be analyzed "How did you let someone like her get so near you" and how did you not identify any of this coming. You should use this episode to try to improve you radar. Don't go easy with yourself saying "It came out of the blue". Because it didn't.

 

Thanks for the reply this is so strange as your username is he same as one she used to use on an adult site!

 

I will be the first to admit I am a fool and naive for not seeing any of this. I mean a month into the relationship I had to drive around looking for her as she called me blind drunk at midnight! I suppose I did see it but was in denial about how things might go.

 

She is certainly not the stable kind of person I need or that her son needs but that is no longer my problem. Any woman who can jump from one relationship to the next and get engaged after not even two months clearly has no concept of what a relationship is in my opinion

[totenkopf]

That website is a lifesaver! I really found it helpful to understand the "why" of it all, especially when I was blaming myself and beating myself up. Your ex sounds emotionally unavailable too, to say the least. They really don't like putting in the effort to try to fix a relationship, they tend to run away instead. And we're left trying to figure out what WE did wrong. When it isn't us at all. My big epiphany was the other day, when I realized that my relationship would've ended due to his inability to work anything out sooner or later. His tendencies to shift blame (all his exs are crazy, according to him, which makes sense if he bailed on them too) would mean that we would have reached an impasse sometime. And it may be years from now, which is much harder to come back from. It made me feel better that I likely couldn't have prevented it, no matter what I did.

 

And he had serious commitment issues that I thought I could change his mind about. But not likely, and they had a part to play in his decision to act how he did. So I feel a lot better seeing what could have been and knowing that at least I know what he's really like now.

 

As for WW2, I'm partial to the Eastern Front. In fact, my ex and I used to talk about going to Latvia with a metal detector...that's still hard, being reminded of him every time I see someting cool to show him. Oh, I also like Rommel, I think he was a brilliant man. How about you?

 

Yeah I think she is I mean looking back now and talking to my family about her they all said that she was always very distant and aloof even with her son. She would make very little effort with him and he had serious behaviour issues which she blamed on the father but he had never been around him which I just did not question at the time. In the time we were together I put in my all with the both of them but I never got back anywhere near what I put in. Also as with your ex the blame would always be on her ex and how everything was someone elses fault. I also think that it would only have been a sooner or later split as with you I mean if she could not even see a year out with someone who she apparently had so much love for and had wanted to be with for years then thats a pretty poor show!

 

My ex seems to like the idea of commitment but in reality she can not cope. While she is off with this new bf she will be giving all responsibility to her parents with regards to her son its almost like she is living as a single woman. Her son does not seem to come into it I mean the three of them have spent no time together and they are engaged. Just seems so wrong to me to keep bringing men in and out of his life at that age.

 

Yeah I have a keen interest in The Eastern Front also. Have you checked out HCTerrorist on youtube his videos are amazing! The Desert Fox haha what a man he was even Monty had a picture of him! I have seen a few videos of metal detecting in the Baltics one was Kurland Kessel and the stuff they dug up was amazing.

[totenkopf]

By the sounds of it, you dodged a bullet. I would consider yourself blessed.

 

Yeah I am certainly seeing it that way now! By her actions it has really made the whole relationship seem false in a way

[Dallix]

Yeah man, you dodged a bullet. Chick is nuts. Mine was similar. Couple weeks after an abortion she disappears and a couple weeks later the new guy she was cheating with(I know for a fact they just met that month) calls me and tell me that they got married. All that within the same month. Have no doubt she is slandering me to him and everyone behind my back. It may not feel like it, but you are the winner in this breakup and it may be hard but you can hold your head high. She is nothing, not even worth a second thought.

Edited March 6, 2015 by Dallix

[totenkopf]

Yeah man, you dodged a bullet. Chick is nuts. Mine was similar. Couple weeks after an abortion she disappears and a couple weeks later the new guy she was cheating with(I know for a fact they just met that month) calls me and tell me that they got married. All that within the same month. Have no doubt she is slandering me to him and everyone behind my back. It may not feel like it, but you are the winner in this breakup and it may be hard but you can hold your head high. She is nothing, not even worth a second thought.

 

Thanks Dallix

God they sound very similar she also had an abortion some years back after getting pregnant after several one night stands and did not know for sure who out of two men had got her pregnant, this was before we were an item but it certainly made me think she had pretty low morals carrying on this way whilst her child was at home with one of her parents.

I really do not know if she ever cheated on me but she would often jump on the bus and head into town and go drinking once even with a group of men who were regulars at the bar she worked. At the time I did not question and trusted that she would not have cheated.

In my exs case all contact is through this bouncer which shows me what a weak little woman she really is and has certainly slandered me, she claims that I made her do webcam sessions and meet people for cash which is pretty strange as I never even knew anything of the site which she signed up to until she signed up to it! She has also lied to him about my role with her son and said that I only looked after him a few times whilst she was at work which is a slight understatement to say the least.

I have really come a long way recently with accepting that I have not really lost any love as if you loved someone as she claimed you would not leave them to then so easily jump on to the next. I suppose he is being fed what she wants him to know all I can say is that what a great marriage it will be when he is being lied to from the start. Thanks again for your reply

[Dallix]

She is weak, and so was mine. Mine was an alcoholic who sought validation through her relationships. Sounds like yours is doing the same thing. Just focus on bettering yourself and being the bigger person. NC is key. That's what I am currently trying to do. She already gave the poor sap a black eye last I heard anything lol.

 

Feel free to PM if you'd like to talk about it more. Talking about it has been helping me, might do the same for you.

Edited March 6, 2015 by Dallix

[totenkopf]

She is weak, and so was mine. Mine was an alcoholic who sought validation through her relationships. Sounds like yours is doing the same thing. Just focus on bettering yourself and being the bigger person. NC is key. That's what I am currently trying to do. She already gave the poor sap a black eye last I heard anything lol.

 

Feel free to PM if you'd like to talk about it more. Talking about it has been helping me, might do the same for you.

 

Thanks mate that is very kind of you. I also read your post about what you went through and what is going on with her current boyfriend or husband! I know very little about how they are getting along but I am sure that everything is not all roses as they are making out but the fact that he is being told a distorted truth can not be good grounds for a relationship let alone marriage.

[ZiggyZoo]

Yeah I think she is I mean looking back now and talking to my family about her they all said that she was always very distant and aloof even with her son. She would make very little effort with him and he had serious behaviour issues which she blamed on the father but he had never been around him which I just did not question at the time. In the time we were together I put in my all with the both of them but I never got back anywhere near what I put in. Also as with your ex the blame would always be on her ex and how everything was someone elses fault. I also think that it would only have been a sooner or later split as with you I mean if she could not even see a year out with someone who she apparently had so much love for and had wanted to be with for years then thats a pretty poor show!

 

My ex seems to like the idea of commitment but in reality she can not cope. While she is off with this new bf she will be giving all responsibility to her parents with regards to her son its almost like she is living as a single woman. Her son does not seem to come into it I mean the three of them have spent no time together and they are engaged. Just seems so wrong to me to keep bringing men in and out of his life at that age.

 

Yeah I have a keen interest in The Eastern Front also. Have you checked out HCTerrorist on youtube his videos are amazing! The Desert Fox haha what a man he was even Monty had a picture of him! I have seen a few videos of metal detecting in the Baltics one was Kurland Kessel and the stuff they dug up was amazing.

 

Man, I feel badly for that poor kid. I hate seeing people who ignore their children like that and don't stop to consider what consequences their actions will have. I have three daughters with my ex-husband (that was my life's big heartbreak right there, when he left) and the fact that I knew they were watching how I dealt everything actually helped. I knew that they would model their reactions to their future breakups by what they were learning from me, so I made an effort to be polite and civil in front of them. I would never consider jumping from guy to guy like you ex, and not even stopping to think about what it might be doing to him. I breaks my heart, thinking that he likely misses you and doesn't understand what's happening. No wonder he has behavioral issues. When kids are ignored like that, they act out. Any attention is good attention...

 

And yeah, she fits classic emotionally unavailable criteria. The good thing about this is that there is plenty of material out there to help you understand WTF happened with her. I had never been involved with someone like that, and was really beating myself up for the relationship ending how it did, until I learned that that was how they tend to operate. When faced with tough emotional situations or commitments, they bail. That site talks about how our exs can move on to someone else and seemingly be much happier overnight. They just meet someone who isn't sick of their sh*t yet, that's all it is. They're incapable of having a decent, healthy relationship with ANYBODY.

 

I've seen some Kurland/Kessel videos, for sure! I can't believe how they just left so much of that stuff...I'll check out the HCTerrorist's stuff too. Thanks for the heads up. Maybe while I'm wearing my Desert Fox maternity shirt, which is by far my favorite thing ever!

[totenkopf]

Man, I feel badly for that poor kid. I hate seeing people who ignore their children like that and don't stop to consider what consequences their actions will have. I have three daughters with my ex-husband (that was my life's big heartbreak right there, when he left) and the fact that I knew they were watching how I dealt everything actually helped. I knew that they would model their reactions to their future breakups by what they were learning from me, so I made an effort to be polite and civil in front of them. I would never consider jumping from guy to guy like you ex, and not even stopping to think about what it might be doing to him. I breaks my heart, thinking that he likely misses you and doesn't understand what's happening. No wonder he has behavioral issues. When kids are ignored like that, they act out. Any attention is good attention...

 

And yeah, she fits classic emotionally unavailable criteria. The good thing about this is that there is plenty of material out there to help you understand WTF happened with her. I had never been involved with someone like that, and was really beating myself up for the relationship ending how it did, until I learned that that was how they tend to operate. When faced with tough emotional situations or commitments, they bail. That site talks about how our exs can move on to someone else and seemingly be much happier overnight. They just meet someone who isn't sick of their sh*t yet, that's all it is. They're incapable of having a decent, healthy relationship with ANYBODY.

 

I've seen some Kurland/Kessel videos, for sure! I can't believe how they just left so much of that stuff...I'll check out the HCTerrorist's stuff too. Thanks for the heads up. Maybe while I'm wearing my Desert Fox maternity shirt, which is by far my favorite thing ever!

 

ZiggyZoo

She would use any means to silence the child more than often he would be sat on an Ipad so she would have to pay the least amount of attention to him as possible whilst she would sit on her mobile phone in her own little world. I had to say something at the start of the relationship as he would even be using it if we went out for a meal which I just could not ignore.

 

Another thing was that she would always adorn him with sweets and presents even if he had behaved in a bad way a prime example being the last week of our relationship and we went out for a meal and he would not eat any of his dinner and began crying crocodile tears after the meal she bought him what he would refer to as " a treat" this was just too much and me and her brother both voiced our opinions.

 

I really would like to think that I child who called me dad on several occasions and who I grew very close to would miss me but something in me very much doubts it. I think that like his mother he has become a very manipulative and selfish person it is terrible that I am saying this about a six year old child but all of my family and a friend who met the child once had this opinion. I just felt that when I was alone with him that he was a different child and really saw a different side of him.

 

It sounds like your three daughters have the complete opposite in a mother to my ex. It must be so hard by yourself I can not even begin to imagine but I have come to realise that there are some women who are mothers and some who are not and by mother I mean the raising and caring for the life you have created not just creating. I really cant see this guy who she is with now being too interested and with the nature of his job working such hours I think it is most probably a recipe for disaster.

 

I know you think that all the kit would have been taken by either the enemy or local populace. He has a great channel have been following him for years Unknownww2 is also another favourite of mine. Oh my god that is too cool do you really have that, why are there not more women with such cool interests!