NJ123 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I know some people met their SO in clubs or online. Just never happens to me. :o:o:o Pretty hard to find someone who wants serious things with me. Maybe I subconsciously chose the wrong guy Well, what type of guys are you going after? Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Well, what type of guys are you going after? I don't set up a type and go after it. Really just whoever I like or maybe don't like that much but willing to give them a chance. I haven't had much success (1.5 year since my last relationship) so I have to think it maybe me. The most recent guy I really don't think he's good looking. Not bad look but maybe 6-7 out of 10. Funny thing my friend said he looks like a jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I don't set up a type and go after it. Really just whoever I like or maybe don't like that much but willing to give them a chance. I haven't had much success (1.5 year since my last relationship) so I have to think it maybe me. The most recent guy I really don't think he's good looking. Not bad look but maybe 6-7 out of 10. Funny thing my friend said he looks like a jerk. If you don't think a guy who's rated a 7 is good looking, than you must be a 9-9.5 in looks lol. So you should have tons of options if you're that attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 If you don't think a guy who's rated a 7 is good looking, than you must be a 9-9.5 in looks lol. So you should have tons of options if you're that attractive. I actually was trying to say I am totally fine with dating a guy who's 6 or 7. That is good enough for me. I'd say I'm also around 7 or 8 so I think I date within my own league and I should have some high successful rate. So if they act like I am noting to them I would genuinely wonder "where do you get all the confidence" ..ya know what I'm saying? Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I actually was trying to say I am totally fine with dating a guy who's 6 or 7. That is good enough for me. I'd say I'm also around 7 or 8 so I think I date within my own league and I should have some high successful rate. So if they act like I am noting to them I would genuinely wonder "where do you get all the confidence" ..ya know what I'm saying? Yeah true, seems best bet these days is to meet someone through a friend or acquaintance or something. Online dating is just awful. And bars/clubs you'll highly likely not meet anyone that wants something meaningful just casual. I really don't know where most people find the person their with at. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'm a woman and the only place I've been approached was at meetup events geared at singles. When I entered the room in such places, men always approached. But never ever in random places like the grocery store or the cafe or whatever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DatingDirection Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'm a woman and the only place I've been approached was at meetup events geared at singles. When I entered the room in such places, men always approached. But never ever in random places like the grocery store or the cafe or whatever. I've been approached on the transit but that's about it in terms of odd places. but isn't it strange? I mean, why approach you at a singles event but not at the grocery store? I know it's about being in the right environment, but I think having a conversation over how to pick the best smelling orange, is way better than, having a conversation at a singles event, saying so what do you do for a living, so your single are you, is just so boring. Plus, if they're attracted to you at the events, they are attracted to you at the grocery store, doesn't matter. so what's up with society? Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Because they don't know if you're open to advances or not. If you go to a singles event they assume you're up for meeting other singles. I also don't make eye contact and smile at strangers on the street, while at the events I'd look at them and smile because, well, that's why i was there. At the grocery store I'm focused on the groceries not necessarily searching for men to smile at Also, because I'm older, which means that there are less single men available out and about, while at the singles events there are a lot of them clustered. I tended to go to large events, with 50 people or more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dcannon Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 First, I consider any attempt by a person to start a conversation, or to initiate touching to be an "approach." An approach is just an approach, nothing more. So, it's likely many of you have been approached in the way I define it. Someone else asked where I get approached. This weekend/week it has been at: a nightclub, a bar, a business conference, and at a social event (meetup). Another person asked/suggested I must be very good looking. I think I am, but it's kind of an abstract belief, in the sense that I infer that I must be very good looking to be approached as often as I am. So, it's not really based upon a personal opinion, and more so based upon an inference drawn from how people react to me. Hopefully that answers some of your questions! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I've been approached on the transit but that's about it in terms of odd places. but isn't it strange? I mean, why approach you at a singles event but not at the grocery store? I know it's about being in the right environment, but I think having a conversation over how to pick the best smelling orange, is way better than, having a conversation at a singles event, saying so what do you do for a living, so your single are you, is just so boring. At the singles event every guy will know A. She is single + B. She is looking + C. Is expecting to be approached. At the grocery store you can check the ring finger but you wont know if she has a bf or not. At my supermarket I find the majority of women don't make eye contact that much - they are on a mission with shopping list in hand. Some women are open to having random guys chat them up when out, but quite a few aren't. Guys will get different feedback doing this random approach. I know its a cliche on here but looks go a long way in how the women will react. Many average guys will likely not get any IOIs back, she'll just be formal friendly and the conversation will fade unless the guy keeps pushing on despite not being sure. The better looking guys will more likely get a smile and a more enthusiastic reaction with positive body language response that will encourage them to escalate the conversation to maybe getting her number. These sorts of random same day meet & date encounters would happen every now and then but much more so for my better looking mates, so its good way to go for some. Nothing wrong though with striking up a convo with a woman while shopping just for practice or seeing whatever happens if you can think of something thats not lame to chat to her. I do it but getting decent IOIs and her sticking around to chat back is another thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bobbi7 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Nevermind. I just read your post. Link to post Share on other sites
Bobbi7 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Curious to know...what kinds of conversation do they start with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Young, very attractive men do get hit on and approached.... in my college days, I looked liked a young Richard Gere. Not only did I get approached, I got hit on. One of the best was a beautiful blonde who invited me to her beach house to "study". I've also been asked by strange women to give them rides in my car. There were also a couple occasions where women I did not know well enough to know their names walked up to me and kissed me right on the lips.... and I don't mean the kind of kiss your mom gives you So yes, young attractive men do get hit on. Ahhh, to be young and beautiful Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Young, very attractive men do get hit on and approached.... in my college days, I looked liked a young Richard Gere. Not only did I get approached, I got hit on. One of the best was a beautiful blonde who invited me to her beach house to "study". I've also been asked by strange women to give them rides in my car. There were also a couple occasions where women I did not know well enough to know their names walked up to me and kissed me right on the lips.... and I don't mean the kind of kiss your mom gives you So yes, young attractive men do get hit on. Ahhh, to be young and beautiful How I wish I were tall sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
soithascometothis Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I could count on one hand how many times I have been approached in my life and I am 6'4 and decent looking. OP, Do you have any tips on how you are so approachable? Have you tried smiling? I can be the mr.brooding type, which I've learned intrigues girls, but they don't come over and say hi. I've noticed the most attention when I'm positive, open, and smiling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dcannon Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 I could count on one hand how many times I have been approached in my life and I am 6'4 and decent looking. OP, Do you have any tips on how you are so approachable? It took me years and years to figure out "the look" that worked best for me. First of all, take care of yourself. General health is attractive. Eating right, wearing sunscreen, etc. Second, if you can get some style/fashion tips, do it. You will have an edge over 90-95% of other men who are out. After a certain point, it doesn't matter, however, as I've been approached many times on nights where I don't dress up at all. Third, have good genetics. Fourth, get out of the house. It is generally impossible for women to approach you if you stay at home all the time. Aside from breaking and entering. Fifth, visualize being approached by beautiful women. A controversial point. Your call. Sixth. Approach a lot of women. Make it a daily habit. You will become more comfortable around women, especially beautiful women. You will become less irritable, edgy and nervous in a bad way, and more focused and directed in a positive way when you see beautiful women. There's probably also an "intangible" factor or set of factors that I can't quite explain that triggers women. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 (edited) Something is odd about this thread. They must be really attractive for this to happen. I'm honestly not sure if I've ever been approached in my life. The only approaching I ever got was from strippers. Odd indeed... and I am thinking the opposite... that he is NOT that attractive. Most woman find it difficult to approach a guy in general, let alone a really attractive one. She's less inclined to be rejected by a less attractive guy. I would also like to know what the OP deems "getting approaced or hit on." I was in the check out line at the market the other day and asked the fat bald guy behind me if one of the items in my space about to rung up by the cashier was his. It was and he thanked me for letting him know. Good gawd did he walk away thinking I was hitting on him???? Either the Op is really insecure to keep starting threads about this....or he's really full of himself. I am inclined to think the former... Edited March 5, 2015 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I agree, as spring approaches its just human nature to brighten up and lighten up. It seems I get the most attention on days I am just happy and could care less about anything. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 First, I consider any attempt by a person to start a conversation, or to initiate touching to be an "approach." An approach is just an approach, nothing more. So, it's likely many of you have been approached in the way I define it. Someone else asked where I get approached. This weekend/week it has been at: a nightclub, a bar, a business conference, and at a social event (meetup). Another person asked/suggested I must be very good looking. I think I am, but it's kind of an abstract belief, in the sense that I infer that I must be very good looking to be approached as often as I am. So, it's not really based upon a personal opinion, and more so based upon an inference drawn from how people react to me. Hopefully that answers some of your questions! dcannon, thanks for this^^. You can disregard my previous post. I posted it before I read the above. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dcannon Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 It's the same pattern this weekend as last. The nice thing is that the hottest woman/women at each venue are approaching now. This is good. I'm not staying out very late these last couple of nights. An hour or two, rather than 4 or 5 hours. Trying to take it easy. Link to post Share on other sites
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