blackcat777 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I'm a really chilled out person and need my quiet time and space to recharge. Noisy dogs are not my favorite... but they wouldn't be a dealbreaker. I would NEVER expect anyone to kick out their pet, ever. (What kind of person does that? Really?) But I'd want to make sure I vibe with future pets. I had some friends with a yappy, neurotic chihuahua that was a snob, but he still grew on me. I have one neighbor with a dog that barks all hours. The problem is, really, the neighbor. My dad buckled and got his cat declawed for a girlfriend that didn't stick around. The cat gained so much weight and hardly plays anymore. It breaks my heart. My boyfriend, fortunately, is a crazy cat person like me. My one cat is terrified of EVERYTHING--not sure if he was abused before we got him (shelter cat), or if he's just a spaz. He will hide under the bed when a stranger comes to the house, and after everyone leaves, he'll still stay under the bed for hours. He runs from people wearing shoes. He was freaked out by freezing rain hitting the window today. He is absolutely obsessed with my boyfriend, however. He lets my boyfriend pick him up and play with him in ways he won't even let me. I think it's a sign. My boyfriend leaves his sweatshirts here for me to snuggle while he's at school for the week, and my cat commandeers them. He'll nestle in them and won't come out. If I wear the sweatshirts, the cat won't get off me. Recently, my boyfriend and I have taken to sandwiching the cat in a big cuddle puddle. We all purr so loud. <3
lollipopspot Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 My dad buckled and got his cat declawed for a girlfriend that didn't stick around. The cat gained so much weight and hardly plays anymore. It breaks my heart. Someday this will be illegal, it's really cruel and unethical. You ought to look into paw repair surgery/declaw repair surgery. The cat is probably in pain. Paw Repair Surgery | The Paw Project Declaw Repair Dr. Ron Gaskin is a good vet who performs declaw repair surgeries | PoC 1
Justanaverageguy Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 (edited) Yeah if you don't like my dog - you're out. No if's no buts no questions asked. It's also not enough to simply tolerate a dog. You have to be a dog/animal person. I think it says something about peoples character if you "don't like animals". Anyone who doesn't I find almost alien and feel their is something psychologically wrong with them. Seriously who doesn't love a dog ? If you are truly allergic then maybe I would give you pass as being not being a psychopath .... but I still wouldn't date you. My dog is well behaved and very obedient. He is a people dog, loves body contact and affection from humans but the thing I like most about him is that he is naturally suspicious of all new people. A lot of dogs just love nearly any human. If you give them a tummy rub or a treat they are your best friend. Not my dog. He is not aggressive at all - has never bitten anyone. But if he doesn't know you then you need to earn his trust and his affection. If you try to pat him and he doesn't know you he doesn't like it he will run away or show his displeasure clearly. If he knows you and likes you then you are the best thing since sliced bread and be prepared for plenty of attention. He is the best judge of people's personality that I have ever met. He always seems to weed out the bad eggs. If after a few meetings my dog doesn't like you then that's good enough for me. I don't like you either Edited March 4, 2015 by Justanaverageguy
Toodaloo Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Are you a pet owner? And if so, how would you react and what would you do if you dated someone that you had a connection with and thought they had relationship potential, but they told you directly (or you sensed it by the way they acted around your pet) that they just don't like your pet and they can't stand being around it or near it (barring allergies of course)? I have owned some of my horses for over 20 years. I was there at the conception and birth of some of my dogs. One is using a foot as a pillow, another is sat behind my on my chair. They were here first. They are as much a part of me as my nose, hands or feet. Would you give up your child because someone didn't like it? Have plastic surgery because someone didn't like it? If someone doesn't like them thats fine. But if they don't, then they can't truly like who I am... so they can jog on. The last few times its happened I haven't offered an excuse or reason I have just walked away. Simples. 1
Toodaloo Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 My dad buckled and got his cat declawed for a girlfriend that didn't stick around. The cat gained so much weight and hardly plays anymore. It breaks my heart. This is the very reason why my best friend has so many cats! She will not re home them for fear they will be de-clawed. They have one that they rescued after it was de-clawed and the poor thing can't even go in the litter tray with out it hurting him.
No Limit Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 As long as he doesn't nag about my pet it would be fine. If he ever dared to even think of leading our conversation to something like "Maybe if you sold your pet..." he'd be out the door. But to be honest, if I met a guy who said he hated animals in general, I wouldn't want him around me at all. 1
Hopeful30 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 This might sound naive but if my dog doesnt like my man, its a huge red flag. My dog has been right about all my exes (his behaviour tells me how much i can trust them.) my pooch hasnt been wrong so far, so if something is off for my pup, then something is off. If a man doesnt like animals in general, its a turn off. Nothig makes a man hotter than when he can show the smallest of creatures compassion and kindness. Its so much sexier than they think lol 1
Haydn Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 My newish cat, Kiera Knightly seems to like everyone apart from my GF. But they are working through their issues like 2 mature women. 4
redglass Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 If my partner didn't like my pets it'd be a complete deal breaker. I'm an animal lover and I have a few pets - including some rather exotic, demanding ones. If he didn't like pets, I'd consider he and I completely incompatible. I'd be doubly annoyed if I started dating somebody and they didn't reveal they weren't an animal fan until further down the line, perhaps in the hope I'd get rid. It would just make me more determined to dump them.
Toodaloo Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 My newish cat, Kiera Knightly seems to like everyone apart from my GF. But they are working through their issues like 2 mature women. Agh Haydn - you made your cat jealous! Thats why dogs are so much easier!
writergal Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I'm a cat person too, OP. My cat's going on 16. She's outlived 2 cat-panions (ha!) too. I've never had a problem with dates not liking my cat(s). I also can tell a lot about a guy by the way he treats my cat (or vice versa). If my cat steers clear of a date, I pay attention. An ex-boyfriend referred to my 16 year old cat as "just a cat" when she was really sick once and on a lot of medication. I broke up with him after she recovered. Ha! Even my cat's vet advised me to break up with him sort-of (she overheard him refer to my cat as "just a cat" and gave me a look). 1
lgspot Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I think its more a case of "if my pet can't bond with my date," adios date. I've found that all my pets have had better taste/intuition than I do.... 2
MissBee Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 (edited) There is no creature more naturally disposed to unconditionally loving humans than a dog. My feeling is if a person can't love a dog, they really can't love anything. I've dated men with and without pets....trust me...the men with dogs were no more evolved or loving than anyone else. I think it's fine to love animals but to make wild leaps about a person's character and what it means for them to like dogs or not is perfectly made up. Liking dogs just means you like dogs, doesn't mean you like cats, doesn't mean you like babies, doesn't mean you feed the poor, care for the sick, volunteer, are mentally well or have the capacity to love another human being. Edited March 4, 2015 by MissBee 2
sweetjasmine Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I've dated men with and without pets....trust me...the men with dogs were no more evolved or loving than anyone else. I think it's fine to love animals but to make wild leaps about a person's character and what it means for them to like dogs or not is perfectly made up. Liking dogs just means you like dogs, doesn't mean you like cats, doesn't mean you like babies, doesn't mean you feed the poor, care for the sick, volunteer, are mentally well or have the capacity to love another human being. Yep. And some of the people I encountered in the rescue world were not exactly shining examples of what it means to be a compassionate, stable human being. I tend to have more in common with people who love animals, but I don't think it's fair to say that people who don't are less loving or less compassionate. 2
BikerAccnt Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I've been a dog and cat owner/lover all my life. That's said, I still place people on a higher plane. My Girlfriend is deathly allergic to my cat. I love them both dearly. In order to make my GF comfortable at my house when she comes over, kitty goes in the basement and the house gets a complete cleaning and spraying (I found a very good spray for keeping the cat dander proteins down). Did she know I had a cat when she accepted my date request? Apparently she skipped that part of my profile .. And my pet ownership didn't come up until a few dates in, buy then, I was already hooked. My GF likes pets, both cats dogs and other animals, she just can't physically be near them. I've seen the reaction they cause in her. We aren't' talking mild sneezing. Her reactions also became worse after her cancer treatments. If and when we ever move in together, I'll need to find a home for my loving cat. Not because I don't love her, I do. But I love my human more. 1
TigerLilly78 Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 What different arrangement would you have considered if both of you were together for a long time? Like maybe putting your cats in another part of the house or maybe sending them to live with a family member but then you still go and visit them often? . Well yea if I had a family member who was happy to adopt them then that would be ideal other wise I would have to adopt them out myself to a proper home that would def be a last resort tho and only if we had been together for a few years or more believe me it wouldn't ever be a spur of the moment for just any man..
TigerLilly78 Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 I've dated men with and without pets....trust me...the men with dogs were no more evolved or loving than anyone else. I think it's fine to love animals but to make wild leaps about a person's character and what it means for them to like dogs or not is perfectly made up. Liking dogs just means you like dogs, doesn't mean you like cats, doesn't mean you like babies, doesn't mean you feed the poor, care for the sick, volunteer, are mentally well or have the capacity to love another human being. This 100% I once knew a family who "loved their dogs" so much so none of them ever went to the vet even when one developed a tumor baseball size hanging off its foot scum bags..but yeah just cause some one says they "love their pets" doesn't mean they are automatically better human beings in anyway..agreed..
preraph Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 When I adopted my pets, I made a commitment to care for them throughout their whole lives as long as I'm able to. Anyone who'd think that's crazy would never be compatible with me. The people who balk at paying more than $20 for any kind of medical treatment for their pet far, far, far outnumber this mysterious demographic that lets their children die while paying 5 times the typical cost for a hip replacement for their dog. Every vet hospital sees multiple people from the former group every single freaking day. My personal favorites are the ones who pay $1,000 for designer puppies and then complain that the rabies vaccine is too expensive. Yes, and I would just point out that at least in the US, children are given medical care if their parents can't afford it. So that can't happen here. I live for the day pets are a write off.
Author BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 5, 2015 Author Posted March 5, 2015 I'm a cat person too, OP. My cat's going on 16. She's outlived 2 cat-panions (ha!) too. I've never had a problem with dates not liking my cat(s). I also can tell a lot about a guy by the way he treats my cat (or vice versa). If my cat steers clear of a date, I pay attention. An ex-boyfriend referred to my 16 year old cat as "just a cat" when she was really sick once and on a lot of medication. I broke up with him after she recovered. Ha! Even my cat's vet advised me to break up with him sort-of (she overheard him refer to my cat as "just a cat" and gave me a look). Catpanions! I like that! I think that cats and dogs can read people very well and can tell if a person is bad & has an ulterior motive or if a person is good & has good intentions. When I get my kitty and she gets older, I'll trust her instincts with regard to anyone who comes over to visit me. If she acts weird, scared or shies away from someone, I'll definitely be on high alert with that person. If she acts lovey-dovey with them and rubs her face on them, then that will let me know that they're a good person. Cats (and dogs too) love people unconditionally and only ask for love, caring and LOTS of snuggles in return! They don't ask for much and they don't expect you to be perfect, they don't care if you've had a bad day, when you're sad they will come up to you and give you love, if you're lonely they will sit in your lap or on your shoulder and watch you play games and when you need someone to talk to, they will sit and listen to you and give you kisses to show how much they care! I will love my kitty forever and I would NEVER EVER get rid of her, no matter how much a person doesn't like her!!! She will be a part of MY family...so um, if a guy or anyone else doesn't want to be around her or will only "tolerate" her, then...they're OUTTIE!!!! .
SpiralOut Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 In my dating profile I put a picture of me and my cat and wrote the caption "me and my cat are a package deal." No way in hell am I giving up my cat. My current bf has no problem with her. She is a very weird cat. She won't sit on you unless she's alone with you. If other people are in the room she won't do it. So when I'm alone, she'll cuddle with me. If my bf is in the living room alone, she will sit on him. When we are together she doesn't pay us much attention. 1
Author BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 5, 2015 Author Posted March 5, 2015 In my dating profile I put a picture of me and my cat and wrote the caption "me and my cat are a package deal." No way in hell am I giving up my cat. My current bf has no problem with her. She is a very weird cat. She won't sit on you unless she's alone with you. If other people are in the room she won't do it. So when I'm alone, she'll cuddle with me. If my bf is in the living room alone, she will sit on him. When we are together she doesn't pay us much attention. Your cat isn't "weird"...she's just unique! She has her own reasons for doing what she does. And I LOVE that you put the pic of you and her and that caption in your dating profile!!! Hope you don't mind if I steal your idea!! .
KatZee Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 This is the very reason why my best friend has so many cats! She will not re home them for fear they will be de-clawed. They have one that they rescued after it was de-clawed and the poor thing can't even go in the litter tray with out it hurting him. My mother had our first kitten declawed at a few months old back when I was 7. Thank god she never had litter or behavioral problems. She was actually up and playing around days after the declaw. As I got older I learned the truth of declawing and although my first cat had no problems I vowed to never let that happen again. When my first cat passed, my mother adopted another shortly thereafter and told me she would be getting her declawed. I told her that if she scheduled that appointment, I'd take the kitten back to the store she got her from. My boo boo is 6 now, living happily with all 20 claws. 2
sportygirl89 Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 (edited) I dated a guy who was allergic. He told me if we ended up together I would have to give the two cats up for adoption. Needless to say I ended things with him. He is now with a girl who has TWO cats. I was in the process of getting a puppy so I really did not need him. Edited March 5, 2015 by sportygirl89 1
veggirl Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 As a sales rep selling medical equipment... we all know too many people will deny life saving medication for their children over a $20 co-pay, but will mortgage their house to pay $15,000 for their dogs hip replacement. If at any time you feel that pets are more important than people... you are part of the problem. yeah that doesn't sound COMPLETELY MADE UP or anything OP I wouldn't worry about it too much. The % of people who "hate" or don't get along w/ pets is ime minimal. Most people like animals! 1
Author BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 6, 2015 Author Posted March 6, 2015 OP I wouldn't worry about it too much. The % of people who "hate" or don't get along w/ pets is ime minimal. Most people like animals! Yes, this is what I'm thinking too! I would think that if a person didn't like their date's pet, that it would be something they would be upfront about right away instead of them pretending to like their pet or just "tolerating" it because they like their date. .
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