mightycpa Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 (edited) tell her that she hurt you and it was a ********* move on her part. If she didn't think twice about cheating on you and hiding it from you, she wouldn't think twice about replying BOO-HOO!to your complaints. In my opinion, she simply didn't deserve the courtesy of a breakup with explanation. She deserved to be DUMPED. I don't know that my advice was hateful, but it was certainly cold. Edited March 4, 2015 by mightycpa 2 Link to post Share on other sites
calgary Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I know what you're going through.. I recently found out my ex cheated on me with her ex. It makes you feel bitter for all the stuff you did for them afterwards and things you said.. but at the same time it really sucks because you still feel like you've lost somebody you thought a lot about, because you've find out they're not who you thought they were. I still miss what i had. Sometimes you wonder if ignorance is bliss. But in reality you're being good to a cheater and a liar and you need to get out of there asap.. She didn't respect you whilst she was cheating and feeding you lies / taking advantage of your kindness, so why do you need to show her respect now? she doesn't deserve respect. We can only hope she feels some guilt and shame for treating you like a fool. The anger stage you go through really helps. I just can't get over that stage, i'm not a forgiving person. I hold grudges and learn lessons from them. i just hope i don't carry trust issues into my next relationship. but then again i tried to not carry trust issues into the relationship with my ex and i got cheated on for tolerating things i felt uncomfortable with, because i thought it was my own insecurities when really it was my gut instinct. hope i helped in some way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Elsa281 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 (edited) I feel so bad for you that you had to go through this... She sound like a really selfish and childish girl, and her whole behavior is just... Wrong... It doesn't matter if she denies it, you found evidence, and therefore your trust is gone no matter what she will say to try and convince you. Don't overanalyze how to break it off, just do it. She didn't over analyzed before she cheated. She doesn't even worth this energy of thinking when is right time to it. But for your sake, talk to her. Don't do it by text. It will only show her that you are too timid to face her. I know it hurts like hell, cheating is one of the most hurtful things someone can do to you. I wish you all the best, and that you'll find someone really really great ( I intended to write "better", but almost every girl would be better than that)! Edited March 4, 2015 by Elsa281 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tj2012 Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 I feel so bad for you that you had to go through this... She sound like a really selfish and childish girl, and her whole behavior is just... Wrong... It doesn't matter if she denies it, you found evidence, and therefore your trust is gone no matter what she will say to try and convince you. Don't overanalyze how to break it off, just do it. She didn't over analyzed before she cheated. She doesn't even worth this energy of thinking when is right time to it. But for your sake, talk to her. Don't do it by text. It will only show her that you are too timid to face her. I know it hurts like hell, cheating is one of the most hurtful things someone can do to you. I wish you all the best, and that you'll find someone really really great ( I intended to write "better", but almost every girl would be better than that)! I appreciate the response, as I said above, I did end up just sending a text. Not because I'm timid, but because I couldn't bear to let myself give her one more second of my life, she didn't deserve the respect of a face to face ending. Also, I know that if I did do it face to face, I'd likely end up saying some pretty awful (but deserved) things to her that would just cause more anger. Thanks for the kind words! I hope I find someone great, but for now I'll be single for a while haha Link to post Share on other sites
Author tj2012 Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 I know what you're going through.. I recently found out my ex cheated on me with her ex. It makes you feel bitter for all the stuff you did for them afterwards and things you said.. but at the same time it really sucks because you still feel like you've lost somebody you thought a lot about, because you've find out they're not who you thought they were. I still miss what i had. Sometimes you wonder if ignorance is bliss. But in reality you're being good to a cheater and a liar and you need to get out of there asap.. She didn't respect you whilst she was cheating and feeding you lies / taking advantage of your kindness, so why do you need to show her respect now? she doesn't deserve respect. We can only hope she feels some guilt and shame for treating you like a fool. The anger stage you go through really helps. I just can't get over that stage, i'm not a forgiving person. I hold grudges and learn lessons from them. i just hope i don't carry trust issues into my next relationship. but then again i tried to not carry trust issues into the relationship with my ex and i got cheated on for tolerating things i felt uncomfortable with, because i thought it was my own insecurities when really it was my gut instinct. hope i helped in some way. I'm sorry you went through something similar. And yeah I'm definitely in that anger phase. Although, I'm not upset at all which I think will help me move on, no being sad about things. Just allows me to know she is an awful person and I'm not missing anything. But I know I'll be so pissed about how she dragged me along, especially while I was studying abroad which would've let me get over things so much faster. I'm worried about carrying trust issues along too. Worst part is that I used to be someone who never even thought about cheating, none of my friends went through it and my parents have a good relationship so it never occurred to me that so many people have no consideration of others now. Gonna be hard to deal with Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'm worried about carrying trust issues along too. Worst part is that I used to be someone who never even thought about cheating, none of my friends went through it and my parents have a good relationship so it never occurred to me that so many people have no consideration of others now. Gonna be hard to deal with Maybe these thoughts will help with that. You can't blame or reward person B for what person A did, right or wrong. In this respect, we all stand on our own two feet. Love is not about trust. You can never trust anybody's feelings, because feelings are always subject to change, and they are beyond our control. In fact, you can't trust your own feelings to stay the same. Like you, they will evolve and change. What you must do instead is to take on a good risk. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You need to use your good judgment, and when the risk seems too great, you need to protect yourself, mitigate your losses or insure your risk somehow. But when you meet a good bet, don't be afraid to go all in. If it doesn't work out, it's not always because there was a betrayal of trust. Just keep your eyes open, and trust your instincts. But please don't tarnish everybody with the brush of one person's betrayal. They don't deserve that. Neither do you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Raines Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 But in the case of someone cheating, I hardly think they deserve a single thing. Does anyone have any thoughts? They don't deserve a single thing. You don't owe her Jack Schidt. Here are a couple of options if you want to break up and she is dead to you. I wouldn't hesitate to do either one. 1) contact her and simply tell her, "You cheated, I don't care if you want to admit it or not. You're dead to me. Consider your worthless azz dumped" 2) go DARK. Don't contact her, don't even tell her you are breaking up. Just block her on your phone, emails, Facebook, etc. Make sure she has no way to contact you. Just let her wonder. I actually like #2. It could be a bit of good fun for you. She doesn't deserve an explanation. She doesn't deserve closure. She doesn't deserve, as you said, a thing. Just block her on all fronts without any explanation. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 It wouldn't have worked because I am 100% sure, but she is a huge crier and I'm too nice of a person if that happens, I do know that much. Thanks again! If she cries and you feel Mr Nice Guy coming on, just remember, someone else was inside of her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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