Author Camaro Guy Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 Great response all so far. Thanks. I just also wanted to ask: how do you feel about a man's physical presence? I suppose this goes in with height but how do you feel about a guy who is solid and thick that he's like a statue? I've been working out for quite a bit now and I'm 6'1 while being a little under 190 lbs. I was a skinny guy in high school and early college so I decided to do something about it. I originally worked out to push my limits. I now notice I get a lot more respect from guys. As a result, I look a lot bigger than I actually am because I was such low body fat to begin with and I look like solid and defined muscle. I'm not talking about the looks necessarily but does it feel comforting knowing that you have a guy like that? (If you do) Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I don't really have a definitive physical type, so I may not be the best to answer about physical presence. I've dated skinny, chunky, solid. I mean, I'm a red blooded woman. A man with some strength is appealing. But it is more about his presence in general. A 6'4" man who weighs 240 with 14% body fat could have a weak overall presence, and a 5'6" guy who weighs 150 can have a strong overall presence. I am 5'9" and hourglassy shaped. Not overweight but not a stick. I think I would fit better with someone who was around my height or a bit taller and not too skinny. But that is not a requirement. I thought the movie Shallow Hal was crap, but for me, there is definitely something to the fact that a so-called "average" guy could become very sexy and appealing and irresistible to me based on WHO he is, and a built, handsome, "stud" could get real ugly real quick if he's a jerk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
compulsivedancer Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Great response all so far. Thanks. I just also wanted to ask: how do you feel about a man's physical presence? I suppose this goes in with height but how do you feel about a guy who is solid and thick that he's like a statue? I've been working out for quite a bit now and I'm 6'1 while being a little under 190 lbs. I was a skinny guy in high school and early college so I decided to do something about it. I originally worked out to push my limits. I now notice I get a lot more respect from guys. As a result, I look a lot bigger than I actually am because I was such low body fat to begin with and I look like solid and defined muscle. I'm not talking about the looks necessarily but does it feel comforting knowing that you have a guy like that? (If you do) I tend to like a taller, thinner shape, but H was 5'10" with a stockier build. He could pick me up and throw me, and I always felt safe with him. Also, when he gained weight, it tended to be all over, not just in his belly like thinner guys. I'm not a fan of the meathead look. Big necks are a turn off. But judging by the number of girls who like Channing Tatum, I think I might be in the minority. Like autumn said, even though I have a type, the guy doesn't have to be exactly that type for me to be into him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 I'm not a fan of the meathead look. Big necks are a turn off. But judging by the number of girls who like Channing Tatum, I think I might be in the minority. Are you into THIS Rob Lowe? https://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/roblowe.png?w=650 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I'm pretty curious about this. I wanted to get a cross-section of opinions on what traits make a man appealing to women. I know that my target audience is slightly younger than the average age of women on here but hopefully it will give me some insight. What traits have made you become instantly attracted to a guy? What traits have made you want to rip his clothes off right there? I'm not talking about physical looks, even though it may play some part. I'm curious. Kind sincere caring thoughtful sense of humour responsible Good job Romantic I've never wanted to rip off a guy's clothes right there, but certain times (before I was married), a guy made me feel really special and I felt connected to him emotionally then I was up for it. time I came close was way back and it was based on this 'connection ' we felt. Link to post Share on other sites
Male Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I find it ironic that when you ask women what traits they like in a guy, majority of them will include "tall". But if a guy brings up the topic, saying most women always want a tall guy, he gets bashed with replies that hes a whiner, or just "complaining" about something that isnt really true. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I find it ironic that when you ask women what traits they like in a guy, majority of them will include "tall". But if a guy brings up the topic, saying most women always want a tall guy, he gets bashed with replies that hes a whiner, or just "complaining" about something that isnt really true. I read every response in this thread. ONE woman said tall. Check your chip. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 The thread starter stated in the opening post: I'm not talking about physical looks, even though it may play some part. Hence, our directive will be to exclude physical aspects when enumerating what traits make a man appealing to a woman. Also, please assist the thread starter in developing them. It appears there have been many posts deleted in this thread and moderation hasn't made a statement here so I'll do that now and thank members in advance for their cooperation with this moderation directive. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I like so-called "alphas", I must admit. Men who have a strong, confident presence but an easygoing manner. I don't really know how a person develops that. Traits I've noticed in men like that I regard as alpha/attractive: 1. A twinkle in the eye. A sense of playfulness. 2. An easy grace about them, physically 3. They project warmth, energy and interest in other people, and make good eye contact (without overdoing it or being "stary"). 4. They're nice (in terms of being well mannered and considerate) but not so nice that they would shy away from something difficult that needed to be said. 5. For as long as they're talking to a person, it'll seem as though that person - whether a president or a cleaner - is the centre of their world. That's key. Focusing on the person you're talking to announces "I'm happy with the conversation I'm having. I'm doing what I want to do, and talking to people I genuinely want to talk to." They're sending out a positive message about themselves, the people around them and the choices they make. When a person (male or female) keeps glancing distractedly around them while talking to somebody, it signals "I'd like to be talking to somebody higher status, but I'm low on the pecking order myself so I'm not really sure what to do about this situation." Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 As I ponder this more and more, I confess I can understand men's confusion. I like a man who is confident, but a man who exudes "I'm all that and you should be honored to share my oxygen" annoys me. I like regular contact when I'm dating. But a guy who sends me 15 line texts and asks me over and over if I have read it yet ANNOYS me I like spontaneity but a guy who calls every time at 4:00 on Saturday and says "Let's go out tonight" assuming I'll be free annoys me. I love sex, but if your third ever message to me tells me in explicit detail what you want to do to me and you ask me for a "photo," guess what? I'm going to be annoyed. I like honesty but not rudeness without thought. I like humor but not the inability to ever take anything seriously. I like drive/work ethic but I don't really care what the paycheck is. I like romance but I don't want you crying at every sad puppy picture on Facebook. So yeah, no wonder men sometimes sit in a rubber room rocking back and forth Link to post Share on other sites
AVarma Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 +Good kisser. Subjective from person to person as to what qualifies as a good kiss. However men who just know how to pull you in close, have their hands in all the right places and switch up the tempo keeping you on your toes are winners. I think this goes hand in hand with the confidence thing. Good luck! Damn. As someone who's only kissed a woman once this really sucks. Would you be more sympathetic for some less experienced? Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Damn. As someone who's only kissed a woman once this really sucks. Would you be more sympathetic for some less experienced? Actually, I have a theory that the best kissers re born and not made. So you don't have to kiss 100 different women to be good at it. You just have to feel and respond. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 As I ponder this more and more, I confess I can understand men's confusion. I like a man who is confident, but a man who exudes "I'm all that and you should be honored to share my oxygen" annoys me. I like regular contact when I'm dating. But a guy who sends me 15 line texts and asks me over and over if I have read it yet ANNOYS me I like spontaneity but a guy who calls every time at 4:00 on Saturday and says "Let's go out tonight" assuming I'll be free annoys me. I love sex, but if your third ever message to me tells me in explicit detail what you want to do to me and you ask me for a "photo," guess what? I'm going to be annoyed. I like honesty but not rudeness without thought. I like humor but not the inability to ever take anything seriously. I like drive/work ethic but I don't really care what the paycheck is. I like romance but I don't want you crying at every sad puppy picture on Facebook. So yeah, no wonder men sometimes sit in a rubber room rocking back arnd forth you're dating the wrong men sister Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet Storm Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I understand why guys are confused, too. I think "chemistry" matters a lot when it comes to how a woman views a man. A woman may feel annoyed when a guy that she feels neutral about texts too much, but the same woman may feel a rush of excitement at the sound of his texts if she's already felt the chemistry. Guys want to know "What is this chemistry? How do I get her to feel it?" and women can't really pinpoint what created the chemistry, because it's not a logical process. There isn't a formula to create it, it's an unexplained mix of pheromones & personalities & subtle communications. My husband made me feel electrical shocks when he kissed me at age 15... what sparked them? It's hard to even explain that physical draw, that excitement, that curiosity mixed with comfort, so how can I tell a completely different guy how to make a completely different woman feel that way? I think there are certainly things men can do to improve themselves and make their personalities more attractive to women. I think getting really good at something, whether it be a hobby, a job, a sport...can greatly improve confidence. I think flirting and female friendships can help with anxiety and helping conversation flow. I can certainly see why this is confusing for guys who want to achieve their goals. Our upbringings are often very goal oriented, and we are often told we can achieve anything we put our minds to. Want a college degree? Go to school, get good grades, apply to college, get accepted, get loans, study, pass your exams. Want to be on the soccer team? Exercise, run a lot, practice, join rec leagues, try out for the team, etc. Want to buy a home? Work a steady job, save money, establish credit, research neighborhoods, find a realtor, etc. Want a woman? Some guys are just lost without a formula or a plan. That's why there are so many posts like this. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Male Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I understand why guys are confused, too. I think "chemistry" matters a lot when it comes to how a woman views a man. You said it all right there. Its all about how a woman PERCEIVES the man. He may not be all that, but if she sees him that way, then he is. This is exactly why you see a woman fall for some jerk, when her friends see him as a deadbeat. You can do something as simple as hold the door for an elderly couple, and a woman can change her whole outlook about you. The reason most guys dont "qualify" is because too many women have a "premeditated list" of what they perceive a guy needs to be. When instead, the woman should meet the guy, with a clean slate of expectations, and let him show her who he is as a person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 As I ponder this more and more, I confess I can understand men's confusion. I like a man who is confident, but a man who exudes "I'm all that and you should be honored to share my oxygen" annoys me. I like regular contact when I'm dating. But a guy who sends me 15 line texts and asks me over and over if I have read it yet ANNOYS me I like spontaneity but a guy who calls every time at 4:00 on Saturday and says "Let's go out tonight" assuming I'll be free annoys me. I love sex, but if your third ever message to me tells me in explicit detail what you want to do to me and you ask me for a "photo," guess what? I'm going to be annoyed. I like honesty but not rudeness without thought. I like humor but not the inability to ever take anything seriously. I like drive/work ethic but I don't really care what the paycheck is. I like romance but I don't want you crying at every sad puppy picture on Facebook. So yeah, no wonder men sometimes sit in a rubber room rocking back and forth Lol! I like you, AN. I interpret this as you don't like men who take things to the extreme. Confident, not arrogant. Sexual, but not perverted. Honest, but tactful. Can do things spontaneously with you, but still has a concept of foresight. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Character traits I like generally are: - loyalty - honesty (not the blunt kind) - affection - fidelity - compassion - empathy - the desire to grow/evolve - self-respect and respect for others - boundaries - the ability to stand up for me if needed - kindness (VERY important) - good communication skills - integrity - selflessness Not saying every partner I've had has had all of these but they are qualities I value in people. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 you're dating the wrong men sister Ha!.Actually perfect man would treat me like a lady at dinner, a friend at the game, laugh at my weirdo humor, then close the bedroom door and toss me onto the bed. Feminine submission doesn't threaten my womanhood in the least. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 I've heard some people say that mens attraction to women is like a light-switch, while womens attraction to men is like volume knobs Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 -Close to his family -Animal lover -Honest -Kind -Generous -Funny -Intelligent -Good communicator -Willing to challenge me -Willing to stand up for me -Loyal Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Strength (not just physical, but physical is good, too) Protectiveness Passion (for work, for a hobby, for me ) That combo gets me every time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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