Did she lose interest because I took way to long to kiss her?

[whiteshadows]

no you were not. You didn't really explain why you were so weird.

 

The truth is you were weird because you were what? Intimidated? Insecure? Overthinking it?

 

That's the truth. You can't tell her that now anyway because she already thinks you are weird. You have to let a lot of time pass and forget about her. And then someday you can joke about how no one had ever intimidated you like that in a way that's a compliment.

 

If you sent the last text don't contact her if she doesn't reply.

I did explain by saying i take things slow because of stuff that happened in the past.

[elaine567]

The thing is that when we meet people we form opinions.

She was open with you, you hung out, you even stayed at her home.

She could have coped with the no contact, the no kissing and would probably have waited. Not everyone just hops into bed.

BUT people expect openness and friendliness back and by skulking out of her house like you did, that didn't show her friendliness and openness.

OK you then said it was all to do with your past and had you been in a longer relationship or had you maintained the friendship, ie given her a hug and a wave good bye that day, she may have been prepared to tolerate that. However, a new relationship suddenly getting very complicated doesn't tend to bode well for the future and so she understandably has decided it isn't for her.

I guess she saw it as a red flag.

[whiteshadows]

The thing is that when we meet people we form opinions.

She was open with you, you hung out, you even stayed at her home.

She could have coped with the no contact, the no kissing and would probably have waited. Not everyone just hops into bed.

BUT people expect openness and friendliness back and by skulking out of her house like you did, that didn't show her friendliness and openness.

OK you then said it was all to do with your past and had you been in a longer relationship or had you maintained the friendship, ie given her a hug and a wave good bye that day, she may have been prepared to tolerate that. However, a new relationship suddenly getting very complicated doesn't tend to bode well for the future and so she understandably has decided it isn't for her.

I guess she saw it as a red flag.

 

Yeah, but i did write a long apology for it and she replied like she barely cared so im not sure thats really thé reason shes cold. As for the no contact im doing it because she has been distant to give her space

[elaine567]

Yeah, but i did write a long apology for it and she replied like she barely cared so im not sure thats really thé reason shes cold. As for the no contact im doing it because she has been distant to give her space

 

Why would she care? What have you done for her that would make her like you?

YOU treated her like sh*t and then apologised.

So what?

Women do not just forget the nastiness, because men apologise.

 

This was a short hanging out together, this was not the love affair of the century. She didn't love you, she probably no longer even likes you.

There is no hook here that will bring her back in to your arms, like there is in real relationships that break up.

Here, no contact means exactly that.

You don't contact her and she is very happy not to be contacted by you.

Sorry to be so blunt but move on, accept you screwed up and learn from it.

[d0nnivain]

I can't say for sure why she lost interest but in her shoes I would have concluded that you weren't into me.

 

 

While you said you wanted to take it slow, to me that means that you are guarding your heart & emotions which is fine. With all those opportunities & no kiss, what else was she supposed to think other than you didn't find her desirable enough to kiss? Remember she told you that she couldn't believe a guy like you was into her. She had her own insecurities & by not kissing her you fed right into them

 

 

My husband waited until our 3rd date to kiss me. At that point I was so annoyed that if he hadn't kissed me, I was prepared to dump him. I had zero interest in hanging out with a man who didn't find me attractive. The fact that you two slept in the same bed twice without kisses would have me in her shoes wondering if you liked guys, not girls, which would then make me wonder why I was wasting my time.

 

 

Sneaking out in the morning, major mistake. You made her feel used. For that alone, I probably never would have spoken to you again.

[whiteshadows]

Why would she care? What have you done for her that would make her like you?

YOU treated her like sh*t and then apologised.

So what?

Women do not just forget the nastiness, because men apologise.

 

This was a short hanging out together, this was not the love affair of the century. She didn't love you, she probably no longer even likes you.

There is no hook here that will bring her back in to your arms, like there is in real relationships that break up.

Here, no contact means exactly that.

You don't contact her and she is very happy not to be contacted by you.

Sorry to be so blunt but move on, accept you screwed up and learn from it.

 

Lmao guess you were wrong she just texted after me no contacting her for 9 days.

[d0nnivain]

Lmao guess you were wrong she just texted after me no contacting her for 9 days.

 

 

She's back. Gosh, what that says about her is a whole other topic. But now that you have a 2nd chance what are you going to do about it?

 

 

If you are still not prepared to kiss her, for her sake, leave her alone. It feels to me like you are playing with her. If that is not the case, please be more aware of how your actions & inactions affect her. Stay out of her bed too. It's a huge mixed message.

[whiteshadows]

She's back. Gosh, what that says about her is a whole other topic. But now that you have a 2nd chance what are you going to do about it?

 

 

If you are still not prepared to kiss her, for her sake, leave her alone. It feels to me like you are playing with her. If that is not the case, please be more aware of how your actions & inactions affect her. Stay out of her bed too. It's a huge mixed message.

 

She didnt texte but she snapchatted a picture of her ans her cat, ill ignore it until she actually texts me

[d0nnivain]

She didnt texte but she snapchatted a picture of her ans her cat, ill ignore it until she actually texts me

 

 

Which is it? You said she texted you. Now you say she snapchatted you a picture of her cat.

 

 

Worst, you are now playing games: I'll ignore her until she texts me again.

 

 

Haven't you done enough damage? You came on here wondering how to get her back & why she went silent for 9 days. She threw out an olive branch of sorts & you are now being smug (& mean) saying oh I'll wait until she degrades herself further by continuing to chase me even though I have already been awful to her. Then I know I'll have her & can basically use her without giving a fig about her. Nice, not!

[whiteshadows]

Which is it? You said she texted you. Now you say she snapchatted you a picture of her cat.

 

 

Worst, you are now playing games: I'll ignore her until she texts me again.

 

 

Haven't you done enough damage? You came on here wondering how to get her back & why she went silent for 9 days. She threw out an olive branch of sorts & you are now being smug (& mean) saying oh I'll wait until she degrades herself further by continuing to chase me even though I have already been awful to her. Then I know I'll have her & can basically use her without giving a fig about her. Nice, not!

 

She snapchatted but she still broke contact by doing it and if i text her it looks like im chasing her

[d0nnivain]

She snapchatted but she still broke contact by doing it and if i text her it looks like im chasing her

 

UGGGHHHHH!!!!! You are playing games.

 

 

NC is not a magic bullet to get somebody back. Being the 1st to reach out does not make you the loser.

 

 

What do you want here? If you want to date her, call her. If you want to play games, I don't know what to tell you because that is mean.

[mightycpa]

^^^^^

I guess this was where it ended for her.

This was the clincher.

No woman wants to be totally ignored by a man who has just spent the night in her house. You treated her like you couldn't wait to get out of there, like she was just some one night stand you were embarrassed about, like she was of no value to you, like she wasn't even a human being.

This is where you lost her.

I guess she sees you as moody, as most likely uncaring, and who wants to go on a date with someone like that?

When others will be straightforward and are easy to get on with.

 

Yep. And the right move to make with this one is easy... you're up, you're almost out, and then you stop and take maybe 30 seconds to show your appreciation instead of skulking out like you're glad to be out of there.

 

So, you're either an idiot or a pussy, and I guess she's not real keen on dating either kind of boy.

[whiteshadows]

UGGGHHHHH!!!!! You are playing games.

 

 

NC is not a magic bullet to get somebody back. Being the 1st to reach out does not make you the loser.

 

 

What do you want here? If you want to date her, call her. If you want to play games, I don't know what to tell you because that is mean.

 

Yes it makes her think she could go distant without any repercussions(that im her puppy waiting for her to Côme back) next time she will think twice before pulling that on me

[d0nnivain]

Yes it makes her think she could go distant without any repercussions(that im her puppy waiting for her to Côme back) next time she will think twice before pulling that on me

 

 

What about what you are pulling on her? Do you have any understanding of how badly you treated her? How badly you are continuing to treat her?

 

 

I wish I could talk to her & explain that you aren't worth it.

[barcode88]

Jesus Christ, OP must be 14 years old and never kissed a girl before. Just leave the poor girl alone.

 

 

Oh and FYI if a girl tells you she "doesn't care" its pretty much synonymous with "you're dead to me".

[whiteshadows]

Jesus Christ, OP must be 14 years old and never kissed a girl before. Just leave the poor girl alone.

 

 

Oh and FYI if a girl tells you she "doesn't care" its pretty much synonymous with "you're dead to me".

 

Lol what are you saying you're lost

[whiteshadows]

What about what you are pulling on her? Do you have any understanding of how badly you treated her? How badly you are continuing to treat her?

 

 

I wish I could talk to her & explain that you aren't worth it.

I did treat her bad which i sincerely apologized to and she was still distant with me . she should of accepted m'y apology and not played games

[Standard-Fare]

Whiteshadows, I really hope you're no older than 18? You sound like a kid who's seriously confused about how to treat women and relationships.

[whiteshadows]

Whiteshadows, I really hope you're no older than 18? You sound like a kid who's seriously confused about how to treat women and relationships.

 

uhh don't see how im seriously confused.. i treated her pretty well overall.

 

and to update ive ignored her snap, and will wait till she contacts me back.

[whiteshadows]

I find it funny how people her seems to think she got pissed because i coldly left, yet when i ask my male friends they say its because i didn't make a move

[todreaminblue]

I feel there is a push pull thing happening which isnt actually a good thing......you were annoyed by her texting constantly and when she stopped that you became more interested in her......so you upped contact.....and then she backed off...hence push pull......it becomes more about winning the person over and once you have them you dont want them anymore.....this is a normally short lived situation because people get tired of push pull all the time.....to me it doesnt have any commitment nor longevity past getting a person to text you and be the one on the chase.....

 

if soemoen truly cares there isnt this push pull thing......if someone cares they want to hear from you ...by text or in person or over the phone.....you dont get annoyed when you hear from soemone you care about everyday....you dont want them to stop........it is a tell or show for me, i actually know if i am not suitable for someone if seeing them a lot annoys me......i end the relationship...if i look forward to seeing them......and i care and have genuine feelings i continue the relationship and again....happy to have contact.....life is too short for immaturity once you reach adult years and people need to spend less time wasting other's time.....you should be with someone who doesnt play immature tug of wars..nor should you play at this fif you want a serious healthy relationship...be a man with a plan....or look elsewhere....let her go.....deb

Edited February 18, 2015 by todreaminblue

[Standard-Fare]

uhh don't see how im seriously confused.. i treated her pretty well overall.

 

and to update ive ignored her snap, and will wait till she contacts me back.

 

Here's a review:

 

You found a spark with someone on vacation. When you got back home, she was obviously willing and ready to explore that with you, but you failed to show her any clear romantic interest. You blew it on several occasions, including when she invited you into her BED for the night. You never so much as kissed her.

 

She was justifiably confused, and she backed off some, as any girl would in her shoes. But instead of trying to understand why she felt that way, you read it as "mind games" and responded by being even more confusing and aloof with her.

 

And here, out of nowhere, she's given you another chance...she contacted you despite your cold silence. (Which, frankly, has made many of us here on this thread question her sanity.) But because it wasn't the RIGHT form of contact (snapchat vs. text), you won't even give her the dignity of a response. You're going to keep rejecting the interest she has for some reason continued to show you despite your bullsh*t behavior.

 

Good luck to you, dude! You've obviously figured out all of the secrets here, so you should keep on ignoring people's advice and do your own thing.

 

P.S. I'll assume since you refuse to answer about your age, you're over 18. God help you if you're over 21.

[whiteshadows]

Here's a review:

 

You found a spark with someone on vacation. When you got back home, she was obviously willing and ready to explore that with you, but you failed to show her any clear romantic interest. You blew it on several occasions, including when she invited you into her BED for the night. You never so much as kissed her.

 

She was justifiably confused, and she backed off some, as any girl would in her shoes. But instead of trying to understand why she felt that way, you read it as "mind games" and responded by being even more confusing and aloof with her.

 

And here, out of nowhere, she's given you another chance...she contacted you despite your cold silence. (Which, frankly, has made many of us here on this thread question her sanity.) But because it wasn't the RIGHT form of contact (snapchat vs. text), you won't even give her the dignity of a response. You're going to keep rejecting the interest she has for some reason continued to show you despite your bullsh*t behavior.

 

Good luck to you, dude! You've obviously figured out all of the secrets here, so you should keep on ignoring people's advice and do your own thing.

 

P.S. I'll assume since you refuse to answer about your age, you're over 18. God help you if you're over 21.

 

I really don't see how i acted more aloof . i wrote and apology and explained why i didn't do anything such as kiss her, i also tried fixing another date which she found excuses for multiple times. Thats when i decided to go aloo since she was probably thinking i was needy at this point so i thought i should back off and give her some space which despite everyone giving me **** for actually gave me a snapchat from her.

[whiteshadows]

I feel there is a push pull thing happening which isnt actually a good thing......you were annoyed by her texting constantly and when she stopped that you became more interested in her......so you upped contact.....and then she backed off...hence push pull......it becomes more about winning the person over and once you have them you dont want them anymore.....this is a normally short lived situation because people get tired of push pull all the time.....to me it doesnt have any commitment nor longevity past getting a person to text you and be the one on the chase.....

 

if soemoen truly cares there isnt this push pull thing......if someone cares they want to hear from you ...by text or in person or over the phone.....you dont get annoyed when you hear from soemone you care about everyday....you dont want them to stop........it is a tell or show for me, i actually know if i am not suitable for someone if seeing them a lot annoys me......i end the relationship...if i look forward to seeing them......and i care and have genuine feelings i continue the relationship and again....happy to have contact.....life is too short for immaturity once you reach adult years and people need to spend less time wasting other's time.....you should be with someone who doesnt play immature tug of wars..nor should you play at this fif you want a serious healthy relationship...be a man with a plan....or look elsewhere....let her go.....deb

 

yeah good observation

[whiteshadows]

What about what you are pulling on her? Do you have any understanding of how badly you treated her? How badly you are continuing to treat her?

 

 

I wish I could talk to her & explain that you aren't worth it.

 

Honestly i dont think ive treated her that badly and if i did i apologized and did what i had to do to make up for it.

 

What can i have done more.