What type of men do women usually have casual sex with?

[ComingInHot]

Uhm NJ? I DON'T have casual sex with men. I can't seem to stomach it. I guess I am approached and all but because the thought of a stranger spreading me wide open makes me want to hurl, I don't pay attention to what is it, "Those good looking party guys".

 

I'd rather meet someone cool on the inside and out and get to know them...

But I guess my thinking defeats the purpose of your thread title.

I just thought you should know there are some of us who just aren't like the rest.

CiH*

[amaysngrace]

I don't know about that. I've partied a lot in my days and never found myself partying with people with bad attitudes. People with bad attitudes are not fun to party with.

 

I also don't think women necessarily like men with bad attitudes. Mostly the opposite.

 

And vice versa I'm sure.

[Standard-Fare]

You're not willing to drop your association of casual sex with "bad attitude"/"not relationship material."

 

Casual sex could mean the guy's an a*shole who's not great for a woman to date more seriously. But it could also mean that maybe he's just not great for THAT particular woman. Or maybe he is, and it just takes time for both of them to realize that and change. Or maybe the guy is only capable of casual sex because he has real emotional issues that prevent intimacy.

 

You're also ignoring the fact that the WOMAN in these scenarios is also seeking out casual sex. So something about HER traits, too, is guiding and defining that experience. It's not just the "bad alpha boy who can melt any woman in the bar and get her to bed."

[NJ123]

Uhm NJ? I DON'T have casual sex with men. I can't seem to stomach it. I guess I am approached and all but because the thought of a stranger spreading me wide open makes me want to hurl, I don't pay attention to what is it, "Those good looking party guys".

 

I'd rather meet someone cool on the inside and out and get to know them...

But I guess my thinking defeats the purpose of your thread title.

I just thought you should know there are some of us who just aren't like the rest.

CiH*

 

True. Of course not all women are interested in casual sex. And I'd definitely be more compatiable with one who isn't than is. Not to say their doing anything wrong since it's their choice.

[NJ123]

You're not willing to drop your association of casual sex with "bad attitude"/"not relationship material."

 

Casual sex could mean the guy's an a*shole who's not great for a woman to date more seriously. But it could also mean that maybe he's just not great for THAT particular woman. Or maybe he is, and it just takes time for both of them to realize that and change. Or maybe the guy is only capable of casual sex because he has real emotional issues that prevent intimacy.

 

You're also ignoring the fact that the WOMAN in these scenarios is also seeking out casual sex. So something about HER traits, too, is guiding and defining that experience. It's not just the "bad alpha boy who can melt any woman in the bar and get her to bed."

 

Fair enough.

[lino]

This is one reason why dating is the big sh#t fight it is today.

[NJ123]

This is one reason why dating is the big sh#t fight it is today.

 

You want to elaborate on that?

[Weezy1973]

There's actually a ton of research on this. When it comes to casual, NSA sex, women go for looks, looks, looks.

 

When it comes to relationships, women want a lot more - looks just fades into one of the many attributes they consider.

 

For example, I'm a funny, smart guy. Never been propositioned for NSA sex, but a lot of women seem to want to date me! Yay me!

[Mangina]

There's actually a ton of research on this. When it comes to casual, NSA sex, women go for looks, looks, looks.

 

When it comes to relationships, women want a lot more - looks just fades into one of the many attributes they consider.

 

For example, I'm a funny, smart guy. Never been propositioned for NSA sex, but a lot of women seem to want to date me! Yay me!

 

They get that crap from surveys where they ask women questions. They are very inaccurate because a lot of women day one thing and do another

[RedRobin]

Disposable ones....

 

 

Ones you don't care if you ever see again...

[Ethan78]

I guess this stuff is all egocentric. There is no revenge to be had against women who have a lot of casual sex with certain types of guys. There will always be a guy who will have a relationship with them if they are attractive and decide to settle down. The guy won't know who she went with for casual sex or how monogamous she will be in the future.

 

I like the idea that women think they know who is boring and exciting based off some social encounter in a bar. I have seen guys who are unfriendly and bordering on miserable come to life to entertain women in bars, and some of the women really believe the act. In reality people probably need to know each other to know who is exciting or boring. I have met guys putting on acts socially who are probably angry, unhappy etc.

[NJ123]

I guess this stuff is all egocentric. There is no revenge to be had against women who have a lot of casual sex with certain types of guys. There will always be a guy who will have a relationship with them if they are attractive and decide to settle down. The guy won't know who she went with for casual sex or how monogamous she will be in the future.

 

I like the idea that women think they know who is boring and exciting based off some social encounter in a bar. I have seen guys who are unfriendly and bordering on miserable come to life to entertain women in bars, and some of the women really believe the act. In reality people probably need to know each other to know who is exciting or boring. I have met guys putting on acts socially who are probably angry, unhappy etc.

 

But that's the thing. What if you have different sexual beliefs than the man/woman who has been extremely promiscuous in the past? There's plenty of comments from people even on here saying they wouldn't want to be with a woman who's had a lot of sexual partners in the past. And than even some comments thinking it's gross that a guy has had like 50 sex partners for example. Men are likely way more bothered by it though, since guys want the woman their with to view them as the best person they ever been with both sexually & relationship wise.

[insert_name]

But if they don't tend to have bad attitudes, how come the party guys aren't relationship material then & just seen as guys to have casual sex with? And it can't just be because they drink a lot, since the women are there doing the same thing.

 

And you're probably right for a lot of women, but there's a lot of women in abusive relationships but still stay with the jerks. It happens all the time.

 

Where I live the douchebag party guys are given a good run for their money by the women who flock to them. Both trying to be louder, more obnoxious and irritating than the other. "Water finds its own level" indeed.

[stillafool]

Nope, but some take it that way. And I understand that everybody settles down, but I'm just asking why women get pissed off when guys have that attitude when from what you're saying it's actually true. Since you say it's "good looking party guys" that women want to have sex with. Why would a guy want to be seen as the settle guy?

 

How is a guy to be seen as a SETTLE GUY unless she tells him this? No sane woman is going to do that. Plus if a guy is looking for a nice girl who hasn't had much experience why would he have any interest in the former casual sex girls anyway?

[stillafool]

But that's the thing. What if you have different sexual beliefs than the man/woman who has been extremely promiscuous in the past? There's plenty of comments from people even on here saying they wouldn't want to be with a woman who's had a lot of sexual partners in the past. And than even some comments thinking it's gross that a guy has had like 50 sex partners for example. Men are likely way more bothered by it though, since guys want the woman their with to view them as the best person they ever been with both sexually & relationship wise.

 

Believe it or not, women want their man to feel they are the best he's been with also both sexually and relationship wise.

[NJ123]

How is a guy to be seen as a SETTLE GUY unless she tells him this? No sane woman is going to do that. Plus if a guy is looking for a nice girl who hasn't had much experience why would he have any interest in the former casual sex girls anyway?

 

Because men seem to view it that the women go for the alpha type of guys for sex when younger. And a lot of guys who never got the attractive women when younger feel their possibly being settled for just because they have a good job or can provide security for them.

[NJ123]

Believe it or not, women want their man to feel they are the best he's been with also both sexually and relationship wise.

 

I get that, but women are definitely less bothered by how much sex a guy has had compared to a man being bothered by how much sex a woman has had.

[NJ123]

Where I live the douchebag party guys are given a good run for their money by the women who flock to them. Both trying to be louder, more obnoxious and irritating than the other. "Water finds its own level" indeed.

 

True. There has to be something wrong with the woman's personality as well, if she's agreeing to have sex with some guy who treats others like **** or is just really arrogant.

[stillafool]

But if they don't tend to have bad attitudes, how come the party guys aren't relationship material then & just seen as guys to have casual sex with? And it can't just be because they drink a lot, since the women are there doing the same thing.

 

It's not that these guys have bad attitudes at all. I think the reason they aren't relationship material (at the time) is because they don't want to settle down in a relationship yet. They are still sowing their wild oats. Alot of women would like to have a relationship with these goodlooking, fun guys but the guys just aren't ready for that yet.

 

And you're probably right for a lot of women, but there's a lot of women in abusive relationships but still stay with the jerks. It happens all the time.

 

I think women staying in an abusive relationship is different than what this thread originally started about which is the type of men women have casual sex with.

[stillafool]

Because men seem to view it that the women go for the alpha type of guys for sex when younger. And a lot of guys who never got the attractive women when younger feel their possibly being settled for just because they have a good job or can provide security for them.

 

So what do you see as the solution to this for those guys? To only go for unattractive women to marry? Alot of women would like to marry the Alpha male who has a good job and can provide security also. It isn't just f--- the Alpha and marry the Beta.

[NJ123]

So what do you see as the solution to this for those guys? To only go for unattractive women to marry? Alot of women would like to marry the Alpha male who has a good job and can provide security also. It isn't just f--- the Alpha and marry the Beta.

 

No, but a guy needs to make sure that he's with a woman that genuinely really likes him for him. And doesn't think of him any less than the guys she's been with in the past.

[stillafool]

I get that, but women are definitely less bothered by how much sex a guy has had compared to a man being bothered by how much sex a woman has had.

 

Women don't want to feel that their man has had better sex with another woman than with them.

[stillafool]

No, but a guy needs to make sure that he's with a woman that genuinely really likes him for him. And doesn't think of him any less than the guys she's been with in the past.

 

And, how does a guy determine this?

[NJ123]

And, how does a guy determine this?

 

By knowing about their past. You should be able to get hints about the woman you're with by the answers you hear from her. For instance, if she talks about how all her exes are jerks. Than you know there's a problem there & is a red flag. And to know what type of person she was in the past. Was she a party type of girl that always drank a lot for instance? Not that that's exactly a red flag, but knowing that could turn a lot of guys off.

[insert_name]

True. There has to be something wrong with the woman's personality as well, if she's agreeing to have sex with some guy who treats others like **** or is just really arrogant.

 

I wouldnt say 'wrong' but a woman who finds those sorts of qualities attractive I would not want anything to do with. They tend to crave attention and drama and guys like that seem to provide it for them. The amount of noise they seem to generate, even in a loud club, is extraordinary. I like clubs and loud music, but I find loud people very boorish.