lil hoodlum Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 I am sorry, I think some of you don't understand what a FWB is. Let me spell it out for you FRIENDS with benefits. Notice the emphasis on the friends part? That just means you are friends but are having sex or cuddling or whatever. It seems means you are being intimate with each other but there are no comittments. What many of you are describing is casual sex. Not really friends or anything just hooking up. Not caring and all of that.... Spanishchick00, I think it is time to find someone new. I don't think the two of you are on the same page. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spanishchick00 Posted February 13, 2015 Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 You are so concerned with the "why's" you're missing the very blatant and obvious message he's sending which is the totally cliche but effective: "Don't call me, I'll call you" Which means he may or may not be done with you. This depends purely on... -If he has other women lined up (Definitely more than likely) -How desperate he is for sex given that you are super high maintenance FWB I'd put money on it that he's not going to call you. By saying he doesn't 'plan s**t out' it means he doesn't want to make time for you. He doesn't care if you want to hang out, he'll only get together if he feels like it. The fact that you keep pushing and pushing...and asking and asking is getting on his nerves so he has to spell it out for you to not text, plan, or initiate any more contact. If he wants to see you he'll text you, but I think you've already made it clear to him you want more of his attention than he's willing to give to you. Move on, maybe try to foster an actual relationship with someone who is genuinely interested in you? FWB only works if you can stay detached. Yeah, he's been saying that for the last 3 weeks, that he'll contact me when he has time. Which is odd seeing that he always agrees to meet up when I contact first. Is it possible that he got bored with it? Last week we were suppose to meet up and he said that he "wasn't feeling it tonight." But I won't ever text him again. I just hate it when guys tell me something and take me as a fool...the whole don't call me I'll call you...And I always pestered him before and it never bothered him until now. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Usually not a lot of emotion goes into a FWB. You meet up, have a good time, and then go on with everyday life! Overly texting will usually scare him or her away....do you have feelings for him? It can be risky to show it if you do (because usually they are not looking for that.) I would back off of it/not text him for a good couple of weeks. Let him come to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Dybbuk Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Yeah, he's been saying that for the last 3 weeks, that he'll contact me when he has time. Which is odd seeing that he always agrees to meet up when I contact first. Is it possible that he got bored with it? Last week we were suppose to meet up and he said that he "wasn't feeling it tonight." But I won't ever text him again. I just hate it when guys tell me something and take me as a fool...the whole don't call me I'll call you...And I always pestered him before and it never bothered him until now. You ASSUME it never bothered him until now, but I am willing to bet serious money that all the texting you did before was probably annoying to him, and now he's just at his breaking point. In all honesty, in his eyes you are not worth the extra effort he has to make to keep you in his rotation. You text a lot, ask for his time even after he tells you he'll get back to you if he wants to meet up... you're unfortunately more trouble than you're worth (to this guy). You know there are other men out there who would be happy to give you their time? Those men would think you're worth more than a late night booty call... In the wise words of Lauryn Hill, "Don't be a hard rock, when you really are a gem." It amazes me that people put up with such appalling behavior when there are other opportunities to meet people who can't wait to spend time with you and treat you way better than this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author spanishchick00 Posted February 13, 2015 Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 Does it mean anything if he told last week he "wasn't feeling it that night?" And that he wasn't in the mood? So, what you're saying is that he's being subtle about me NOT initiating contact and will contact me first only at HIS convenience and when he wants it??? That sucks!!! What the heck do I do in the meantime then? Go on dates? Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Does it mean anything if he told last week he "wasn't feeling it that night?" And that he wasn't in the mood? So, what you're saying is that he's being subtle about me NOT initiating contact and will contact me first only at HIS convenience and when he wants it??? That sucks!!! What the heck do I do in the meantime then? Go on dates? Yes. He's not giving you a big explanation because he doesn't owe one since you aren't in a relationship. So yes, go on dates. Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Does it mean anything if he told last week he "wasn't feeling it that night?" And that he wasn't in the mood? So, what you're saying is that he's being subtle about me NOT initiating contact and will contact me first only at HIS convenience and when he wants it??? That sucks!!! What the heck do I do in the meantime then? Go on dates? YES, it means something. It means he is not anywhere near as invested in this as you are. You keep dodging posts about it, but you obviously have feelings for this guy. And he obviously has none for you, and is barely even interested in sex with you anymore. And YES, you should go on dates! You should have been going on dates all along -- a FWB is just that, not a boyfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author spanishchick00 Posted February 20, 2015 Author Share Posted February 20, 2015 I couldn't help it, but I texted him this week just saying that I missed us hooking up since its been a month. We have never gone a month. He never replied back. Now, I don't know if he is really done with me because he never responded. Wouldn't he have said something to me to leave him alone instead of just ignoring me? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Wouldn't he have said something to me to leave him alone instead of just ignoring me? Not necessarily. You overplayed your hand in the beginning and showed yourself as needy. Ignoring you is probably the easiest way for him to end it. It wasn't a "real" relationship, after all, that would require closure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author spanishchick00 Posted February 20, 2015 Author Share Posted February 20, 2015 Not necessarily. You overplayed your hand in the beginning and showed yourself as needy. Ignoring you is probably the easiest way for him to end it. It wasn't a "real" relationship, after all, that would require closure. Really... After almost 2 years of hooking up!? We've "broken up" twice not necessary broken up- took breaks. But we always got back together. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Really... After almost 2 years of hooking up!? We've "broken up" twice not necessary broken up- took breaks. But we always got back together. Really. If it is a FWB situation, no break up is even required. It sounds like at the end once you cared as more than a friend that he stopped attempting any type of friendship. Ignoring you is how he's telling you he's finished. It's not a real relationship so nothing more is owed. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Really... After almost 2 years of hooking up!? We've "broken up" twice not necessary broken up- took breaks. But we always got back together. A guy that I hooked up with for 4 years or so faded. No talk, no nothing. To be honest, it was fairly mutual, I stopped calling, he stopped calling it's been a few years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spanishchick00 Posted February 20, 2015 Author Share Posted February 20, 2015 I just don't understand why it's hard for him to even have sex at least once out of the 30 days that we haven't seen each other??? Is he bored of me or something? Did the sex get stale? Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 I just don't understand why it's hard for him to even have sex at least once out of the 30 days that we haven't seen each other??? Is he bored of me or something? Did the sex get stale? He is most likely bored OF YOU. Has that never happened to you? It has definitely happened to me. It could either be the sex or just the drama that you bring to his life. He is done. You need to move on! Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 I just don't understand why it's hard for him to even have sex at least once out of the 30 days that we haven't seen each other??? Is he bored of me or something? Did the sex get stale? He's maybe now got a newer FWB or "plaything" to occupy him, or has grown out of the FWB situation and is now looking more seriously for a gf, or he's just busy with other things. He maybe did get bored, the sex maybe did get stale, who knows? BUT a FWB situation is not "for life", it is merely a temporary practical solution for sex, between two people who are not in LTRs. It is casual sex, neither he nor you owe each other anything. I guess that itch he had, is being scratched elsewhere ATM. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 he owes you no explanations hes prob with a girl he actuialy wants to try and have a real relashionship with thats why hes not as interested in easy sex with you right now but keep hanging on cause if things dont work with the legit girl im sure he will be happy to bang u on the side when will women lean when it comes to FWB... Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 I just don't understand why it's hard for him to even have sex at least once out of the 30 days that we haven't seen each other??? Is he bored of me or something? Did the sex get stale? Men always want sex he just dosent want it with you anymore.. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Is he bored of me or something? Did the sex get stale? You said it yourself; you sent NINE texts in one night and didn't get the picture. You went from a convenient hook-up to a crazy person. You were clingy and needy. At that point, it wasn't about sex - it was about the realization that you were not fun do deal with as a person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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