Re: Thanks, also

[Miss Mojo]

the impression(s) i get of your girlfriend are as follows and somewhat conflicting:

 

a) she knows how you really bother yourself about things, so tries to sugar coat events, because to her, they do not matter now;

 

b) she didn't mind kissing this guy, but told you otherwise because you weren't officially together at the time, and didn't want to upset you (she may not have known where she stood with you at the time because you weren't "officially together");

 

c) she's very weak and doesn't know how to say "no".

 

d) she's just played along with things in the past because she can.

 

it's really hard for me say why, because i don't know her. but is the reason for this so important if it's not happening now? i hardly think so.

 

i've probably really confused you now, but unless she super-glued herself to a wall, she could have easily walked away from this guy. twice, i have had a guy i was talking to at a nightclub lean over and kiss me. whilst i was shouting into their ear, they took it as a cue to kiss me. before they had the chance to , i pushed them away. they never got a chance to try it again because i made it clear how disrespectful it was and how repulsed i was and i didn't go near them again. if a guy tries to do something like that once, it's not that hard to push them away. the message is usually loud and clear, and if the guy persists, i'd make a point of letting others know he was harassing me and to be quite honest, i'd make sure i embarrassed the hell out of him. but yes, there are some girls who give in because they feel awkward and pressured, but it is not your place to worry about and pick it to pieces.

 

in the whole scheme of things, it shouldn't matter one litte bit now, unless she does this sort of thing all the time. and if she does, she needs to take some lessons in assertiveness and you need to reconsider why you're with her.

 

but if this was only a one-off situation, please don't eat yourself up about it. as you said, you weren't officially together at the time, it was at the very early stages of your relationship with her, and it shouldn't matter now. i'm still friends with a guy i once kissed, and i wouldn't dream of kissing him again (i don't know what i saw in him in the first place!).

 

if this sort of thing hasn't happened since, then i would strongly advise that you don't tear yourself up over it and analyse past events. trust me. i've been there myself and it's nothing short of crazy and like i said in my previous post, creates *big time insecurity*!!!!!