marcelo.santos Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Poor english here... Me again: My ex-gf sent me a prescription during NC, what she means? I really need your advice: I'm 40y, my ex is 30y Had this gf for about 7 months. 3 wk ago we break up in a weird way: we both accused each other from dumping: We had a hard discussion, after the discussion we talked and everything was fine. The next day I was at her place (another city), we had sex, but suddenly she began to be very distant and make it looks she want to stay home alone.. I left very disappointed, she told it would be fine and we could see each other again after 2 days - after I left we began to exchange text and she began to be negligent with me - so we went a point I asked her to decide if she wants to continue with me or break up... she never replied the 2 last messages I sent her - after 5 days without any notice from her - I removed relationship with her from fb - today I know that this was a mistake, but I was very very upset the way she acted with me with no clear explanation. She ignored it, after 2 days she began to comment and like posts from another guy she already met before me, we already had a discussion on this guy and she promised to never like and comment his posts again at that time, so I decided to go NC and removed her from facebook. When I removed her from facebook as friend - she became crazy and attempted to contact me desperately - but denied she did something wrong, she said she just was tired to reply my messages (?) and told me I dumped her with no explanation - I told her the she had break when abandoned the relationship. A week latter she texted me politely saying that she was going to send my belongs that is still at her home - I said thank you, and she told me that I am the best boyfriend that she every had - but sadly she knows that I don't accept she the like she is (?) I didnt understand - I received my belongs a few days latter. Now today, 2 weeks latter, I am very surprised that I received a drug prescription from her by the mail (she is a medical doctor), the medicine is the same I already taking that she prescript when we were together - - it a medicine to lose weight - it needs regular prescription (each 30 days) but it is nothing that I really need. I was reluctant to say thanks to her as I am NC and I was doing well - but I don't feel good in receiving this help and ignoring it also I miss her and I am a bit confuse about my feelings - so I decided to text a thank you message to her: "Hi, How are you doing? I just noticed you sent me a prescription. Thank you!", she replied: "I'm fine and you? I can send you it regularly while you need. kisses, bye" So I replied: "ok, thank you but don't worry, it is too much work for you - I'm supposed to make some exercises to lose weigh. kisses, bye" and she replied again: "Well, if you need I will try to send one more time next month, if you do some exercises will be even better! Kisses, bye" Not sure, but she don't looks interested in me anymore by her messages, what is your opinion? I miss her - I did some mistakes, but I have difficulties to accept the negligence she treated me staying 5 days without replying my message when we were together - she never attempted to say sorry! - also I don't know why she sent me these prescriptions? It is not needed and it is not so ethical for a doctor like her to send these prescriptions like this (is not necessary illegal in our country) - this is hard for her - Also I think that she was a bit cold on the messages today, considering that This is the first attempt to contact her in 2/3 weeks NC. I would like very much to her your thoughts about this - thank you all.
Author marcelo.santos Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 any thought is appreciated
Elle1975 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 A relationship should be on, or not; there is no middle ground, cause the middle ground is what hurts the most. If you need the prescription that bad, consult your doctor, but I'd politely decline hers. 1
Author marcelo.santos Posted February 9, 2015 Author Posted February 9, 2015 (edited) A relationship should be on, or not; there is no middle ground, cause the middle ground is what hurts the most. Thanks for you reply - And how I would solve that now? I'm in NC - the problem is that she attempted to contacted me and I went could with her. If you need the prescription that bad, consult your doctor, but I'd politely decline hers. No, I dont need the prescription, I should have declined her but now 3 days after not sure if its a good idea to break NC and contact her declining a coming prescription for next month. And why she've sent this prescription after 2 weeks - I dont need them so much Still confused in what to do... Edited February 9, 2015 by marcelo.santos
Elle1975 Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 You can send her a note thanking her for the prescription but you will go to your doctor from now on, or that you simply don't need it anymore. 1
Chi townD Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 If you don't need the prescription anymore, then ignore it and don't fill it. Sooner or later, she'll get the point. 1
Author marcelo.santos Posted February 9, 2015 Author Posted February 9, 2015 update: I broke NC after 28 days today and contacted her for a meeting - she was very receptive and we will date tonight. :laugh::laugh: I'm planning just to have a nice dinner or something like that and avoid talking about issues we had - just will ask a general apologize for what happened. She leaves in another city and I will met her there - I always used sleep with her at here home (when we weere togheter)... but If we hang today, not sure if I ask to sleep with her? or should I go slower and get back to my place even we are on? Any recommendation?
Chi townD Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 update: I broke NC after 28 days today and contacted her for a meeting - she was very receptive and we will date tonight. :laugh::laugh: I'm planning just to have a nice dinner or something like that and avoid talking about issues we had - just will ask a general apologize for what happened. She leaves in another city and I will met her there - I always used sleep with her at here home (when we weere togheter)... but If we hang today, not sure if I ask to sleep with her? or should I go slower and get back to my place even we are on? Any recommendation? *facepalm* Nope! None! Good luck! 1
lauri Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 update: I broke NC after 28 days today and contacted her for a meeting - she was very receptive and we will date tonight. :laugh::laugh: I'm planning just to have a nice dinner or something like that and avoid talking about issues we had - just will ask a general apologize for what happened. She leaves in another city and I will met her there - I always used sleep with her at here home (when we weere togheter)... but If we hang today, not sure if I ask to sleep with her? or should I go slower and get back to my place even we are on? Any recommendation? I would cancel on her in my opinion. What has changed between you two after 28 days? I doubt very much. 1
alphamale Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 good ridance man. she's a whack-o nut job 1
Author marcelo.santos Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 Thanks for the replies!! No deal, its all over: After NC 28, had this meeting with her and is all over. This is a case of breaking NC was ok to have a closure. She told me that she don't like me anymore as before - she told that she is impressed in how she forgot me so fast and that she like me very much for what I have done for her this 7 months, but its over. She cried, she said she is sorry. She told me also that she is meeting no one - I believe her, looks like that she is telling the true here. She was very friendly at all and I'm sad but at least at this moment I'm feeling better then before as everything is solved. I told her that I will go NC and will block her on fb - she understood. I asked her why, and she told me that we have different opinions in some situations (she never told nothing about it) and this would destroy our relationship one day - she told me that she never discussed these matters with me to avoid discussions between us, sometimes she was Shy! - I asked examples and she told me: nothing important.. different situations - not sure if this is the only matter - I'm very disappointed that she never told me that there is something that we could discuss to solve the matters and avoid a breaking, I've told nothing to her during the discussion I dont love her, I like her due she is a very interesting girl - she have a very good heart and principles, I'm 41 and never found someone in this level before. I have a very small hope of some day she come back, but I know it is a 1% chance as today after 30 days of radio silence from my part she was still very decided. a Question: we agreed that today we will exchange emails explaining her how to manage the website I made for her - my planning is to finish the matter and go NC... I would like to tell her that it was her mistake to be shy and avoid the discussions - I had absolutely no idea that something was wrong.. but I know that now is all over... what do you think?
lauri Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 She told me that she don't like me anymore as before - she told that she is impressed in how she forgot me so fast and that she like me very much for what I have done for her this 7 months, but its over. I'm sorry but I find this hilarious. She meets up with you to tell you she's impressed at how fast she forgot about you? She doesn't like you anymore because for a long time her interest level in you dropped, she dragged it on and you were still around. Her seeing you again confirmed this. She built up enough ammunition / reasons for why she doesn't like you to last a life time. You meeting her was the final straw for her to get the "final word" and get the power over you by ending things on her terms...I feel like she just did this to get back at you for going NC. This is 100% over forever. Your first mistake was meeting her...maybe if you didn't she may have come around...but in my experience, all girls are the same when it comes to breaking up with you. Once they lose interest, it's done forever. a Question: we agreed that today we will exchange emails explaining her how to manage the website I made for her - my planning is to finish the matter and go NC... I would like to tell her that it was her mistake to be shy and avoid the discussions - I had absolutely no idea that something was wrong.. but I know that now is all over... what do you think? I wouldn't even email her regarding that. She lost this privilege...stop giving her what she wants without her giving you what YOU want. In her mind, she was testing you the entire time and you were "failing" her tests. Women aren't going to flat out tell you what is wrong...they want to be with a guy who gets it and that understands how to "keep her interested". There are tons of options for people these days with social media and online dating...which is why it is very likely that there is someone else in the wings that caught their attention. If you don't keep them interested / happy, then off they goto the next option (GIGS). What more is there to say to her? Why didn't you warn me you were losing interest in me? That's so weak and not something you want to do. I suggest you walk away and never talk to this girl again. 1
mightycpa Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Send her a contract for supporting that website, and don't forget to collect the retainer, and to set up the automatic monthly billing. That should pretty much wrap everything up. 1
Author marcelo.santos Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 I'm sorry but I find this hilarious. She meets up with you to tell you she's impressed at how fast she forgot about you? She doesn't like you anymore because for a long time her interest level in you dropped, she dragged it on and you were still around. Her seeing you again confirmed this. She built up enough ammunition / reasons for why she doesn't like you to last a life time. You meeting her was the final straw for her to get the "final word" and get the power over you by ending things on her terms...I feel like she just did this to get back at you for going NC. This is 100% over forever. Your first mistake was meeting her...maybe if you didn't she may have come around...but in my experience, all girls are the same when it comes to breaking up with you. Once they lose interest, it's done forever. I wouldn't even email her regarding that. She lost this privilege...stop giving her what she wants without her giving you what YOU want. In her mind, she was testing you the entire time and you were "failing" her tests. Women aren't going to flat out tell you what is wrong...they want to be with a guy who gets it and that understands how to "keep her interested". There are tons of options for people these days with social media and online dating...which is why it is very likely that there is someone else in the wings that caught their attention. If you don't keep them interested / happy, then off they goto the next option (GIGS). What more is there to say to her? Why didn't you warn me you were losing interest in me? That's so weak and not something you want to do. I suggest you walk away and never talk to this girl again. Thanks for the reply - you probably are right in a lot of the observations you've made her. The point is that I don't care so much for what she thinks now.. I know this girl she has a great heat, she is not perfect - I hope she finds someone, she is not my enemy - I'm feeling ok about this. I'm feeling better now, much better - we had no talk on break up - until now after the dating yesterday, I had no idea in how this was hurting me - I did need to break the NC for this closure: no doubt now about this. I don't think that the meeting yesterday had any difference on a possible future.. she've decided to break a month ago and yesterday she have not changed her idea a bit - our possibilities had ended a month ago, not yesterday. I've just sent the mail to her - ok its a " Why didn't you warn me you were losing interest in me? " its weak - but this is what I want to say, dont care so much if she will screenshot it and post on her whatsapp groups and say "he is a looser girls!!" I really don't care now.. - I dont love this girl - I would like to be her bf - but its over I did some mistakes, I will learn and find a new girl - hope to make new mistakes not the same a made with this girl - this is all I need. The important is that I'm much better now then I was last month... life goes on.. moving on...
Author marcelo.santos Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 Send her a contract for supporting that website, and don't forget to collect the retainer, and to set up the automatic monthly billing. That should pretty much wrap everything up. Actually, she have asked me yesterday to do that - I told her that I would like to keep no contact with her. I have no problem with this girl - AFAIK she always had good intentions with me, she did some mistakes in the past but I have no problems with her now... no need to threat her bad. I will help her in moving her website to someone that manage it professionally and go full NC, this is all.
CarrieT Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 I will help her in moving her website to someone that manage it professionally and go full NC, this is all. She should find someone else to do her website and you should report her to the medical board for giving medication without you being a real patient with a full work-up and records. She is treading a medical thin-line -- nope, wait - she crossed it and is a questionable doctor. You shouldn't be involved with her shady practice at all.
Author marcelo.santos Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 She should find someone else to do her website and you should report her to the medical board for giving medication without you being a real patient with a full work-up and records. She is treading a medical thin-line -- nope, wait - she crossed it and is a questionable doctor. You shouldn't be involved with her shady practice at all. Not 100% sure, but probably you are right about her. Being very sincere with you: sorry, but I will not consider this for a lot of reasons.
Chi townD Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 She should find someone else to do her website and you should report her to the medical board for giving medication without you being a real patient with a full work-up and records. She is treading a medical thin-line -- nope, wait - she crossed it and is a questionable doctor. You shouldn't be involved with her shady practice at all. Meh, Medical review board won't give a damn. She's renewing a prescription for a person that can be proven that, that particular person is taking that particular medicine and isn't a scheduled drug from a Doctor in good standing... they got bigger fish to fry. 1
Author marcelo.santos Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Thank you all for the replies! Meh, Medical review board won't give a damn. She's renewing a prescription Yes, she is renewing a prescription. If any of you wants to follow the next phase from this history (a new girl that I quickly am interested), take a look on this post I've created on Dating http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/514979-moving-after-breakup-but-low-self-esteem-dating (Not sure what I'm doing her is against the forum rules here, if it is: sorry for that, I will edit this post. thanks):
Author marcelo.santos Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 ok, now is day 70 since breakup and 40 days in NC - have no idea of what she is doing, or if she is hanging someone - as far as I know she have attempt no contact even no breadcrumb (blocked her on whatsapp) on last 40 days. Meanwhile I've met and slept with 3 beautiful and interesting girls on last days - all 3 girls are very interested in me, but now I've figured out that is too early to begin a new relationship as my ex gf is still in my mind every day and I don't want to hurt any other girl with a false expectation like I did with these 3 ladies. On last days things are becoming harder and harder as I miss my gf very much - She probably will never contact me anymore and this is becoming very difficulty to accept on last days. I've considered breaking NC, maybe in the future (after 90 days NC). to check if there is any chance - but not sure if this would be a good idea. Thank you.
Mi7522 Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Marcelo, the only time you should break NC is when you are indifferent to her that way it won't matter what response you get if you get one at all. If you attempt to break NC before you are indifferent it is too soon. You may want to exercise a little self control as well with these other women as you could be hurting them with what you are doing.
Author marcelo.santos Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 Marcelo, the only time you should break NC is when you are indifferent to her that way it won't matter what response you get if you get one at all. If you attempt to break NC before you are indifferent it is too soon. Yes this makes sense - thank you. every day its a fight with myself to not access her facebook or instagram and see if she is meting someone else. She uses to put pics of her life everyday in this social me - but I ok and I will not access it as this would kill me. I've blocked her in messages, whatsapp, calls, but I'm unable to block her in my email account - I have a hope that she changes her mind and decides to contact me again - this is bad due I check my mail everyday to see if I find some message from her. every week I'm having a opportunity to know a different and interesting girl that in most cases are interested too (I'm a luck guy in this point as I'm not alone) - but every time I'm looking for my ex characteristics on these girls (this hurts me a lot) - so I never get really interested in them - I think that the time is the only friend in helping me to move on in my case - I will need to wait some months to get be interested in a new relationship.
Author marcelo.santos Posted October 12, 2015 Author Posted October 12, 2015 (edited) Update: Ok, today is NC 244 - its about 9 months since last contact with my ex and 10 months since she broke with me - I'm in NC since them - but I've learned from friends that she had no one months after breaking up and she is still single. I'm in a new relationship (3 months) with someone that I really love and she loves me - coincidentally this new Girlfriend shares a best friend with my ex and probably my ex knows from this best friend that I'm in a relationship now, ok, the update is that my ex just contacted by email me returning a money of a Christmas gift I gave her - when we were together she asked me a specific expensive gift so I bought it for her, and she promised me a similar price gift she never gave me as she was unable to find it and we broke few days after the Christmas - I became very disappointed as I received no gift from her but never complained with her about this. Here follows her message: "Hi, good night! Here follows the $200 deposit receipt attached of the Christmas gift you gave me last year - sorry as I could not find your gift - if you think I own you more money dont hesitate in contacting me" Attached I found a bank transfer to my account dated today with the $200 value Why she decided me to contact me about this matter? Why she waited 10 months to give me back this money - I never asked her for this gift or mentioned this problem with her when we were together or after the break up. 4 months ago I have replied a commented on my facebook page from a friend of mine, I told in the comment reply that once I gave an Christmas expensive gift to someone and never got it back - but it is a reply from a comment (it is very hidden as this post received 36 comments) and this happened 4 months ago - I have not mentioned her name and my ex is blocked on my facebook. My guess is that someone told her about this comment and today she decided to pay me for the gift - but is something odd as all this happened months ago - All of our 5 mutual friends do not interact with my posts (absolutely no likes from them since break up). I've decided to do not reply her and ignore. Any thoughts about this? Edited October 12, 2015 by marcelo.santos
dyna85 Posted October 12, 2015 Posted October 12, 2015 I think it's good that she at least has a conscience and reimbursed you when she didn't live up to her promise of an even gift exchange. Who knows if she saw the comment and reflected upon it, or heard about it through the grapevine, or merely contemplated it herself without reviewing or hearing about the comment. The only person who knows is her. Either way, I think it's nice that she did this as it was the right thing to do. If she dumped you, I wouldn't respond though and would just move on as you've been doing.
Recommended Posts