marcelo.santos Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Hi all - sorry for the poor english here: 1 month ago me and my now ex-gf Rosela had an argument and a break - the very next day I met accidentally a very beautiful and interesting girl called Liria (she is a friend of a friend), on that day she began to looks very interested in me - I gave not too much attention to her as I had really hope to have Rosela back. I went 30 days NC with Rosela and yesterday I asked her for a meeting and she told me that she dont feel it anymore - it was very sad Today Liria texted me a "Good Morning", as I was a bit sad and I decided to give a better attention to her talk and today I became very very interested in Liria - So she've invited me for a meeting next week, is too early after my break up yesterday but I accepted afraid of loosing the opportunity of a really beautiful woman like her - I'm not a good looking guy so it is not frequent to have a girl like this interested in me. The point is that I'm a bit confused in some points: Why I am accepting Liria in my life so early? I'm not thinking in my ex Rosela, right now, even the breakup still hurts a lot. Also Liria have a lot in common with Rosela: Both are Medical Doctors, they are from the same same small city (400 miles from the big city we all live), the parents of both work for the same Federal Taxation Office... Looks like that in my Subconscious I'm looking for Rosela in Liria.. but not sure. I really thinks that this meeting will not work in the end as my self-esteem right now is really low. Rosela was my power on last months... Also it too early to have success with another girl. I have a hope that me and Liria will become boyfriends.. I know that this hope so early is wrong as I even dont know her very well and she dont know me actually.. ...any thoughts? Any advice? Thank you!
Atticus9292012 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I feel like you need some time to search your heart on this. I have made the mistake of jumping into something too soon after a long relationship and it was a mistake. When the rebound relationship was over, I was broken and not over my ex. I think after the new feelings of dating someone new fade, you may find you're not really over your ex. 1
bubbaganoosh Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Your problem is that right now you haven't gotten over your old girlfriend and now this new girl comes along and honestly, she might be willing to give 100% in a while and you wont be able to give the same in return and the only thing that will happen is the new girlfriend will get hurt. In my opinion, I wouldn't date until you get the old girlfriend out of your mind 1
rocketman122 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 im not one who believes you need to do a soul searching heart healing bull**** time out. for me its best I dont stay by myself or I will get in a heavy depression. so I date as fast as I can to get over my ex. I want to love and be loved. when im down I dont want anyone around me. but when I feel good im a totally difference person. some people need the time out. not me. I go out and have a good time. better than being at home and falling into a dark hole. I would stop working and things would only get worse. have very bad panic attacks and it will turn bad. makes a huge difference to me to go out and just meet people. sure I think about the ex but im 100% focused on finding a new person to try to move on. I go with the mindset to really try and find someone. I go on dates and see if we can make it work. for me this is the only way. 1
Author marcelo.santos Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Just after my post, she texted me... she looks really really interested in me - and I'm amazed - she made jokes about our first meeting we will have next week, etc.. I dont think I have time to wait for a complete heal here - Is not ok to try to hold this girl for weeks.. I need to take a decision now and my decision is to date her even I have low hopes that it will work as I expect. These Rebound relationship never worked for me in the past - I never felt I was using someone as always was someone I really was interested to have as gf- not sure why never worked, probably the another part always feels that something was wrong with me. in sometimes I went very interested in girls that I shouldn't, they were completely different of me or I ignored characteristics and behaviors on her that usually I wouldn't do like she being a dishonesty girl or very low educational level ( that is not pretty to have as a requirement but I know that will never work for me )- looks my brain completely ignores these requirements just after a relationship. Do you think a low self-esteem is a big problem in me being attractive for this girl? I already heard things in the past like: "you showed too much interest too early", "you gave her a gift too early"... nothing too much exaggerated like doing absurd things on first date. When the rebound relationship was over, I was broken and not over my ex. This is an interesting point. Not sure if this will be a problem in my case now as I'm sad but not devastated over my ex. she might be willing to give 100% in a while and you wont be able to give the same in return and the only thing that will happen is the new girlfriend will get hurt. In my opinion, I wouldn't date until you get the old girlfriend out of your mind I will take it in consideration, I dont want to waste opportunity with this girl as she looks a really nice girl - that kind of opportunity I dont have every day. I'll try to not be selfish with her, do you think telling her the true about just finished another relationship will make it more evenfor her side? for me its best I dont stay by myself or I will get in a heavy depression. so I date as fast as I can to get over my ex. Yes I always try to do like this - but it never worked with me before - I'm not sure if there is a single reason for this that I couldn't figure out until now on my cases or just bad luck.
Toodaloo Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Whoa! Slow down. You don't know this girl yet. How about just getting to know her first before you jump into dating her? Give yourself time to get over the break and at the same time spend some time with someone and see if you get along? Meet up with the friends you met her through, go out as a group etc. Take your time. 1
katlover Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I would just go ahead and build up a relationship with Liria. I am quite positive that once you grow feelings for Liria, that you will forget all about Rosela. There is no point in being depressed over a woman who doesn't feel the same about you. So you should talk to Liria to get your ex off your mind. Good luck 1
Author marcelo.santos Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 (edited) How about just getting to know her first before you jump into dating her? Yes, it would be a better approach, but there is already 1 month I'm texting with her - she is pretty girl, I'm afraid she get tired of waiting me to see her personally and so losing her for a more active guy. I would just go ahead and build up a relationship with Liria. I am quite positive that once you grow feelings for Liria, that you will forget all about Rosela. There is no point in being depressed over a woman who doesn't feel the same about you. So you should talk to Liria to get your ex off your mind. Good luck Yes, this is my idea and I will try it - the problem is my very low self-esteem I am right now due I get dumped very recently - I know this will pass, but is hard. Also I still connected with my ex (in my mind) - I keep comparing both girls - is not easy. lets see what happens, We are planning a first date this weekend or next week - she still looks very interested - I've just figured out that I'm so low self-esteem at this moment that I'm unable to believe that this pretty girl is so interested with me- this will be a serious barrier with this girl but I'll fight to pass through it. Edited February 11, 2015 by marcelo.santos
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