Divasu Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Always ready to go. I have never had sex with someone that old before. I was scared at first, but now it's great. I was amused by the comparison you made with respect to a 17-year old boy (not what sex with Doctor Wonderful is like - but thank you for sharing that juicy detail. ). 2
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 What if I just said something sweet and innocent while we are cuddling like, "I don't want to date anyone else but you... and maybe Brad Pitt. Tell me what you think about that." Jesus. I have no idea how to phrase this ****. I'm such a pollyanna. HALP. 2
writergal Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 What if I just said something sweet and innocent while we are cuddling like, "I don't want to date anyone else but you... and maybe Brad Pitt. Tell me what you think about that." Jesus. I have no idea how to phrase this ****. I'm such a pollyanna. HALP. Ha, ha that's cute and clever. (And very non-threatening which is the most important thing.) Try it and see. It's not like you'll be hysterical, with your hair askew, with runny mascara and smudged lipstick, in between heaving, crying sobs demanding that he commit and date you more than once a week. I think that only works on tv soap operas like Knots Landing or Dallas. "Oh J.R., you rapscallion you!"
writergal Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Are you the Jean Nate type? Their after-bath-splash is for people who want to take charge of their life. You can borrow my time machine and go back to 1984 and get some, if you think it will help. 1
Divasu Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Are you the Jean Nate type? Their after-bath-splash is for people who want to take charge of their life. You can borrow my time machine and go back to 1984 and get some, if you think it will help. Jean Nate, ha ha! 1
Divasu Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 What if I just said something sweet and innocent while we are cuddling like, "I don't want to date anyone else but you... and maybe Brad Pitt. Tell me what you think about that." Jesus. I have no idea how to phrase this ****. I'm such a pollyanna. HALP. Didn't you already say something similar in November? He kind of told you where he's at in terms of your dating relationship. He does know you're still dating other people too and it doesn't seem to bother him much, no? 2
writergal Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Jean Nate, ha ha! Ha, ha! Pumpkin I hope I didn't offend. I was trying to make you laugh, to help you relax about your situation. Ah, the 1980s. What a decade! 2
RedRobin Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 You are missing one important detail. Pumpkin has gone along with what he wanted since the beginning and never spoke up about what she'd like. Maybe this man is happy with things as they are and he's cruising along with it because OP never mentioned she'd like to take it to the next level. Maybe he'd be happy seeing her more often and make it officially exclusive with the profiles coming down. She is under the impression he does not want more MAYBE he is under the impression SHE does not want more. She is getting crumbs because she has shown him since beginning she's pretty happy with crumbs! Except, he's the effing 'adult' here, or should be. A man and a one who is 15 years older. No excuse for this mamby pamby crap on his part. Can't believe other women are helping this dude pull one over on her. Crimey.
fronk Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 What if I just said something sweet and innocent while we are cuddling like, "I don't want to date anyone else but you... and maybe Brad Pitt. Tell me what you think about that." Jesus. I have no idea how to phrase this ****. I'm such a pollyanna. HALP. You DON'T NEED TOO! Seriously just tell him how you feel, any amount of cleverness is NOT going to change the outcome...believe me as I have been on the other side of the equation. His mind is made up one way or the other. I hope this helps... 1
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 You DON'T NEED TOO! Seriously just tell him how you feel, any amount of cleverness is NOT going to change the outcome...believe me as I have been on the other side of the equation. His mind is made up one way or the other. I hope this helps... Can I ask u something? if his mind is made up in the positive, wouldn't he have said something by now? I think yes. Since he hasnt said anything, his response is most likely in the negative.
fronk Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Can I ask u something? if his mind is made up in the positive, wouldn't he have said something by now? I think yes. Since he hasnt said anything, his response is most likely in the negative. Not necessarily....which is why I think you need to be honest with him. Remember...everyone has insecurities no matter what their age is. We are all HUMAN! Even us doctors! LOL 2
writergal Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Not necessarily....which is why I think you need to be honest with him. Remember...everyone has insecurities no matter what their age is. That may be true - about the insecurities - but he's consistently only seen Pumpkin once a week for 3.5 months. He's never initiated more than 1 date per week which is odd for a man of his age, who has dated a LOT of women. We're not talking about a pimply 17 year old here. We're talking about a middle aged, well to do doctor who has a lot of experience dating women. So I find it really hard to believe that he hasn't initiated more dates with Pumpkin after 3.5 months, especially if he's well enough to initiate sex. Yet, he won't initiate more dates or a commitment? The only way this situation will come to a conclusion is when Pumpkin tells him what she wants - more dates from him, deletion of his/her online profile so they can focus on being exclusive. He will either say "yes" or "no," when Pumpkin brings it up, and then - only then - will she have her answer. There's always Doctor #2. He may be a much better match. There is that possibility. So Pumpkin, I think you should keep your options open still; unless you really want things to progress with Doctor #1. If you do, then you need to be honest with him this weekend about what you want. There is nothing wrong with asking for what you want. It's your right as a human being, to ask another human being if he wants what you want. If you never ask for what you want, you'll never have a chance to get it. 2
RedRobin Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Ok, Pumpkin. The question is... if you have to push him off the cliff this time, are you prepared to initiate every time? I've never seen these situations turn out differently. My observation is that he may say 'yes' for now... but go back to his old ways soon enough (usually REALLY soon), and you are the one always cranking his tail like a wind up doll for some movement... and on and on it goes. Really don't understand why any of this is interesting to you. Unless you just like drama. 1
RedRobin Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 The only way this situation will come to a conclusion is when Pumpkin tells him what she wants - more dates from him, deletion of his/her online profile so they can focus on being exclusive. He will either say "yes" or "no," when Pumpkin brings it up, and then - only then - will she have her answer. . Nonsense. He's an accomplished older man. He should be the one asking her to delete her profile and asking for exclusivity. Otherwise, Pumpkin, ditch this loser and date a same age or younger without all these health complications... if you really enjoy doing all the heavy lifting here.
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 Ok, Pumpkin. The question is... if you have to push him off the cliff this time, are you prepared to initiate every time What do you mean, initiate every time? As it stands now, I have initiated about three texts and one date over the course of 3.5 months. He's done all the work.
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 So I find it really hard to believe that he hasn't initiated more dates with Pumpkin after 3.5 months, especially if he's well enough to initiate sex. Yet, he won't initiate more dates or a commitment? I agree. Is he waiting for me to plan some dates and initiate more? Cuz I don't wanna. Looks like chasing, esp. I don't know how he truly feels about me.
RedRobin Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 What do you mean, initiate every time? As it stands now, I have initiated about three texts and one date over the course of 3.5 months. He's done all the work. Initiate anything relationship wise. If he doesn't have a problem initiating dates, then he shouldn't have a problem initiating the rest.
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) It's interesting all of the women here say bail, and all of the men and Gaeta say talk to him and tell him what I want. Actually Gaeta said cook him shepard's pie. Edited February 7, 2015 by PumpkinLumpkin
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 So as of tonight, here is what I've decided to do. Keep in mind I am a woman and liable to change my mind another 100 times by tomorrow's date. 1. Get my things. 2. Have a nice time with him and don't say a word about anything. Why? 1. He told me wait until after his surgery and we can revisit this topic of commitment. 2. His surgery is only next week. It makes no sense to bombard him with this talk when he's stressed enough, plus I'm still all over the map about how I feel about this situation. His rehabilitation will buy me time, reveal more of his actions, and I'll also get to see if he is a man of his word by "revisiting this topic after my surgery." In the meantime, I will be dating other men, since he's already said it's none of his business what I do. If I end up falling in love with someone else, then you snooze you lose. Thoughts?
fronk Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 It's interesting all of the women here say bail, and all of the men and Gaeta say talk to him and tell him what I want. Actually Gaeta said cook him shepard's pie. You should do what you want and makes you HAPPY....just don't have any regrets with your decision.
Author PumpkinLumpkin Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 You should do what you want and makes you HAPPY....just don't have any regrets with your decision. I'll definitely regret baking him a Shepherd's pie. He probably will too when he finds himself barfing at 2 a.m.
RedRobin Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 It's interesting all of the women here say bail, and all of the men and Gaeta say talk to him and tell him what I want. Actually Gaeta said cook him shepard's pie. Yes, because nearly all women have been in a situation where they were pulling the majority of the emotional weight in the relationship... And know it doesn't work in the long run. The men have all been in situations where they got comfortable with the woman pulling that weight. Of course they love that. What they aren't telling you is that the woman usually dumped them over it too. If the guy isn't that into you fairly early on, he never will be. 3 to 4 months is plenty of time and is about the same period I use to see if a guy will fish or cut bait. I like your plan. No sense having any big conversation right now. But here is the thing... Any new guy you meet probably won't be too keen on you having sex with other guys while you are getting to know him... Unless he is doing the same. If you are ok with that, then go forward. Otherwise I would stop the sex and just look elsewhere for now.
Gaeta Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Who is taking care of him when he gets out of surgery?
elaine567 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Yes, because nearly all women have been in a situation where they were pulling the majority of the emotional weight in the relationship... And know it doesn't work in the long run. The men have all been in situations where they got comfortable with the woman pulling that weight. Of course they love that. What they aren't telling you is that the woman usually dumped them over it too. I have a feeling that women being increasingly left to shoulder that emotional weight, is a situation that kills many relationships. The woman can't take it any more, and plans to leave or just leaves, and the man says "What happened there?" as they were oblivious. 3
Gaeta Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 It's interesting all of the women here say bail, and all of the men and Gaeta say talk to him and tell him what I want. I am an advocate of * be yourself, * don't play games, * put your cards on the table. If it doesn't work it's because it was not meant to be and you can move on with no 'what ifs'. You have violated the 3 of those rules and I know if you leave this man without explaining yourself you will be filled with 'what ifs'. So instead of aiming at a grandiose exit to punch him in the nose why don't you make a clean exit with a sincere conversation for your own sake and peace of mind. 3
Recommended Posts