TheGagagirl1234 Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Love is actually my top fear now. I have had 5 crushes throughout my life, and I didn't have luck with any of them. I really think that there might be something wrong with me; my crushes were either taken, and some of them got a girlfriend, or they weren't interested at all. Now I don't want to fall in love again. Never. I don't want to go through the pain anymore. I know it WILL happen again, but I'm so afraid of rejection. I have never been in a relationship before. Do I scare boys away, or is there really something wrong with me?
Lokin4AReason Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 what do you mean you scare them away, hope its not hygiene ... ??? I mean what kind of individual(s) are you attracted too ... ??? age could be a thing also ... so little information w/ to many question(s). please explain a bit more ...
carhill Posted January 29, 2015 Posted January 29, 2015 Reading your first thread here, I'd opine that a lot of this is due to being quite young; young people are still sorting things out and, yep, some have difficulties and it takes awhile. If I could offer one tidbit from the other end of life it's to guard against investing in forever. If you enjoy a young man today, that's a gift. Tomorrow is unknown. You might scare some boys away. That's OK! If you otherwise can form and maintain healthy relationships, like a solid social circle of friends, then just keep plugging along and time will bring compatible people into your life. Youth is a time of experimenting, succeeding and failing. It's all good work and can be fun too!
devilish innocent Posted January 30, 2015 Posted January 30, 2015 Your first problem is that you've only had five guys that you were interested in. It sounds like a couple of them were already taken. Those guys don't count because they were unavailable. That leaves you with maybe three guys that you could have had something with. Just because three particular guys happened to be uninterested in you, you think there's something wrong with you? I guess you expect 33% of the guys you've met to be crushing on you. It doesn't work that way. Most people need to go through more crushes before they happen to run into somebody who feels the same way as them. I used to be a lot like you when I was in high school and college. I never had a relationship. Instead, I'd be focused on whoever I happened to have a crush on at the time. When after a while, I'd find out the guy was taken or uninterested, I'd move on and the same thing would happen again. I guess I believed in this fantasy that one day I'd happen to run into a guy who stood out from all the other guy's I'd known. I'd stand out from the other girls he'd known. There would be intense chemistry on the first date, and we would live happily ever after. It may work that way for some people, but if that's all your relying on your chances of finding love aren't great. It wasn't until after college that I realized I'd have to meet more people and be open-minded to the idea that the right guy might not be someone who stood out at first. My husband is the best thing in my life, but I never would have met him or given him a chance if I'd stayed stuck in the mindset I had in college. As for worrying about getting your heartbroken, that's a risk everybody who's searching for love takes. It's worth it when you find someone who can make you happy and want to be with you long-term. There aren't any guarantees as to how many times your heart will have to get broken before then. The only thing that can help somewhat is not to expect too much out of anyone until they've proven themselves to you. It's nice to fantasize, but a fantasy is just a fantasy. You eventually have to let go and know that somewhere else you can find something real.
GorillaTheater Posted January 30, 2015 Posted January 30, 2015 If you're crushing/falling in love before the relationship even begins, you're doing things in the wrong order. You have to try to keep from getting emotionally invested until there's a relationship to get invested in.
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