GemmaUK Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I take it these guys were retired or something? No, two of the men I dated worked full time themselves but as I said they worked alone so could text whenever and they couldn't understand if I was working or in a meeting or something that I wasn't able to text them right back. One of the three was unemployed but I didn't know the length of time/how many agencies has banned him in the beginning. It didn't last long at all - just a few dates. He was a nutter and I couldn't get rid of him for 4 years after ending it. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 Gemma, good point...the woman I met recently, we went on a wonderful date together...first a festival, then dinner, and then walk in the park, talking even more. She enjoyed our time, but did let me know that since she's new to Meetup and socializing since the death of her mother, she's wanting to focus on friendships...if a relationship becomes of such a friendship as ours, then more power to us. She said she's vulnerable at this transitional period in her life as she gets her feet wet into a new social life and exploring the outside world as she had been rather reclusive for a time. Good points here, her emotional unavailability isn't due to a break up or even a divorce (she's never married, no kids). I'm to assume she's not yet emotionally available? My only ace in the hole so far is that she's ADMITTED that she's attracted to me probably 2 or 3 times already. That being said, there's no inkling of "friendzoning", but it sounds more like a "friends first and let's see what happens" kind of thing. I hugged and kissed her on the cheek good night. We still stay in touch afterwards, too. I'd distinguish between slower pace and being emotionally unavailable. My BF and I dated for a couple of months before being exclusive and romantic. Maybe it's because we'd both done the quick-lock relationships too early with people that were not good matches- haste. That didn't mean we were emotionally unavailable so much as discerning and wanting something very good. I felt flooded and pressured by lots of men I met on OLD, as though they wanted to lock in or get a desired result in a few dates. We probably each have our own sweet spot or middle ground, not too fast and not too remote or slow, maybe before we want to make ourselves emotionally expressive to any particular person. But there's a lot of snap decision-making and "move on" if you don't get gratification thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
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