HereNorThere Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Wait on second...Did anyone call her out on him being too big for a condom??? Do people out there really believe it when a guy says this? Hate to break it to you, but comdoms come in different sizes for a reason. Lots of men need bigger or even smaller than average sizes. It sounds like OP knows his penis well enough to know whether it's too big or small. The real issue is that the condoms weren't for him because he's a bottom. The comdoms are for his boyfriend. OP, I suggest you start using those condoms now. Men who have sex with men are in a substantially higher risk group when in it comes to STDs. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 maybe he is just constipated a lot?? I would sit him down and ask for an explanation. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I found out he was a cross dresser (which he hid from me) the first year we were married. He admitted this when I confronted him. He knows I don't approve of it, and has since never done it in front of me. I knew before the marriage that he had had sex with a man once before. I am the first woman he's ever been with (I believe him when he says it). He likes anal sex, with him being the "bottom". We have experimented with toys in the past. He has lied to me and tried to keep things hidden from me in the past, such as telling me he quit smoking when he didn't, and telling me he paid off his car, when he didn't. I'm wondering how much of this you knew before the wedding and what your expectations going in the marriage were? It seems obvious there was never going to be a conventional and/or monogamous sexual relationship... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 He had sex with a man before. Seriously, would you really be surprised that he's gay? Why would you even marry someone who did this?? Other than wearing a "I'm gay and I'm fooling everyone with my marriage" t-shirt, a bigger red flag, I cannot imagine. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 NO such thing as bisexual, if he's has sex with men, he is gay. I hope you find the strength to do what's best for you, since clearly he is. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 He had sex with a man before. Seriously, would you really be surprised that he's gay? Why would you even marry someone who did this?? Other than wearing a "I'm gay and I'm fooling everyone with my marriage" t-shirt, a bigger red flag, I cannot imagine. Agreed, having sex with another man is a big deal and cannot really be swept under the carpet as if it means absolutely nothing. Few men just find themselves in bed having sex with another man. Add to that the cross-dressing, his enjoyment of bottoming, the finding of his enema box, the toys and the condoms, and his propensity for lying to you too, makes this something, you cannot really ignore. Is this the type of marriage you want to be in, to bring children into? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 NO such thing as bisexual, if he's has sex with men, he is gay. . then what is he if he has sex with both men and women? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 then what is he if he has sex with both men and women? Gay and greedy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Agreed, having sex with another man is a big deal and cannot really be swept under the carpet as if it means absolutely nothing. Few men just find themselves in bed having sex with another man. Add to that the cross-dressing, his enjoyment of bottoming, the finding of his enema box, the toys and the condoms, and his propensity for lying to you too, makes this something, you cannot really ignore. Is this the type of marriage you want to be in, to bring children into? Good summary. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jackslife Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 NO such thing as bisexual This statement is so ridiculous, that it was almost just worth laughing at and not worth commenting on... almost. You are probably right though, in the same way that there are either very tall people (over 6ft) and very short people (under 4ft), and nothing in between. There's a line from an old sitcom, where a wonderfully ignorant woman says to her homosexual lodger - "There's no such thing as gay, your just being lazy!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I am so sorry you are going through this. I am afraid that sleeping with other MEN IS very different than if he was sleeping with women. It speaks to a basic preference and identity. I know there are people who maintain that a gay A is just like any other A. Those people would be deluded. Link to post Share on other sites
kamani Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 OP disappeared. I wish she'd return. Link to post Share on other sites
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