Sunfire73 Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 (edited) Yea, your boyfriend should drop her without questions asked. He should respect your feelings but he didn't. Everything is his fault. This is exactly what you don't want to happen, and it's happening. If he just want to save your relationship, he should be mature enough to let her go. Not sure what his intention with her is, why he can't even drop her, but that is not someone you would have a relationship with. When I asked my bf to unfriend his ex on fb, because she suddenly started to like his posts, he did it for me. I told him, it was making me uncomfortable seeing her in his timeline, and while I trust him, I didn't trust her. he understood my feelings and where I was coming from. So he unfriended her. Your boyfriend unfortunately doesn't know boundaries. Edited January 27, 2015 by Sunfire73 1
mightycpa Posted January 27, 2015 Posted January 27, 2015 Yeah, but "John" made a choice in allowing "Matilda" to be able to exert that kind of influence on his current relationship. He could have/should have stamped that down immediately and not let it reach that point. But instead he let Matilda wreak havoc. No. I don't think so. John did make a choice, but his choice was to let John decide what was most important to John. The choice was that John was going to do what he wanted, or he was going to do what Nicole wanted. That was the choice. His mistake was not that he made one choice vs. the other, because that's a value decision that only he can make. His mistake was not owning up to his choice. Matilda didn't wreak havoc; she was merely the catalyst. John did the damage, by sneaking around. Everybody seems to have made their best choices, but nobody is happy with the consequences, except for maybe Matilda. That outcome indicates that this was not a match made in heaven. I declare bullet dodged for the both of them.
Blade96 Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 Heh. I'd like to know when they start dating. Not cause I wanna hurt Nicole, but just cause something's going on here, and it ain't just friendship. in 2010 my (RL) ex did this. Shortly before I left him, he wanted to learn music so he hired a woman to teach him. Keytar or something. I don't know. anyway he talked about her - and I just had this odd feeling like something wasn't right. He was interested in more than just friendship with her and some lessons. The way he spoke to her on the phone and stuff. I would have left anyway, cause he was a jerk. But this gave me other reason to leave. Soon as I did, I had the proof I needed cause he got with her living together immediately and they are still together. Nicole. Trust your gut. It usually doesn't lie.
cheshire_cat Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 Well we have talked. He INSISTS they are only friends, that he does not feel any attraction to her, he LOVES me, he skirts around HER being interested in him though. He truly does not understand that this whatever it is with her is why I cut him out. I will not be made a fool of, lied to and sit back and watch this little dance from the sidelines. She called TWICE while we were talking. I got up, put 20 dollars on the table (lunch) and walked out the door. He comes running out all pissed off. He says I am not being fair. I said I was being true to ME and that I come first in MY life! He swears he loves ME, he goes from lovey dovey, to anger to all over the map on his phone messages, it confuses me. It still hurts, but I KNOW I did the right thing most the time, then somedays I get so down about it and start second guessing. UGH! Nicole, I have a lot of respect for you and the fact that you are sticking to your guns on this. I've read through this entire thread and the fact the he went behind your back and still had lunch with her knowing how it made you uncomfortable is more than enough reason to end the relationship. Trust issue aside he didn't take into account your feelings at all because he felt he could get away with it. My school of thought in relationships has always been if you wouldn't do it in front of me then don't do it behind my back. Believe me, I know how hard it is to want to backtrack after a break up, go against your gut because the pain of losing that person feels like it will be too much to bear. You seem like a smart girl and if you're anything like most people this isn't the first time you've been in a relationship that ended. Just remember like every breakup (no matter who initiates) it hurts but with everyday it will get a little bit better. Be strong! 1
Pinkdisney Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 Yeah Nicole! I'm sorry you are hurting but you are being very smart. She called twice while you were talking? No way this is just an innocent friendship. Wow, just wow...she has BRASS for calling twice during your meal, seems to me that was deliberate as he could have turned off his phone. You my friend are getting played and I am glad you had the strength to stop being their pawn. Disgusting your bf allowed you to be part of this as if he had no regard at all for your feelings. It's amazing how you are now going to be the bad-guy as pp said when you had done NOTHING wrong.
Recommended Posts