BS: How much time did your WS spend with you....

[Lion Heart]

Your friend is SO lucky to have you BUT you must be honest with her. She may not have a faithful husband but you can be a faithful friend. I would expect a brutally honest friend as my sounding board.

 

Lion Heart.

 

Sorry for being harsh. ALL my friends (and some I've had for 45 years!) are still my friends because I'm up front and honest.

I'm usually tactful with my timing BUT 3 of my friends WS I have actually seen WITH OWs and 1 tried to hit on me FORGETTING I'd been at their wedding! I was around their house the very next morning. This is because I would want the same from them.

 

Plus my mother's BEST friend when I was 5yo went into hospital to have her 2nd child. My mother discovered husband

was having an A and didn't tell her (newborn baby etc). When Aunty found out, SHE AXED OUR ENTIRE FAMILY IMMEDIATELY. I missed her son Michael for the rest of my life. I named my twin Michael. It was a deep and cutting lesson at 5yo (mother filled in details over the years to my asking why?).

 

Right now you're being the best friend they could have until proof surfaces I guess. I'd let proof surface naturally, not actively seek it TBH. You don't want to get embroiled over your head!

But you could follow a gentle line of questioning IF she brings up anything related to an A. There's a terrible feeling of betrayal between friends if AFTER the fact, you say things like "I KNEW IT ....." Which I don't think you'd do anyway.

 

So there's a tad of my life experiences that led me to be brutally honest in matters that count like these. Follow your heart but practise detachment at the same time. Your empathy may not allow your strength to reign if and when they need you most.

 

Lion Heart.

[Toodaloo]

I can only really go by friends but their WS's have not cut back on time or sex, affection etc.

 

My ex started seeing women and I had no idea until he showed me a funny email and I pressed the back button and found messages from women on PoF...