Trimmer Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Your husband is most likely participating in the distribution of a controlled substance, a felony in most states: "...." Were he to be arrested and charged, his attention to his phone would be the least of your problems. Why would you go along with this ??? Jeez - thank you! I thought I was the only one shouting at my screen about this. Note also that the "girl" whose house he is going to has a sufficient supply that this is where he goes to buy when he needs them. Most people who get them legitimately and use them properly for their own pain don't end up with an extra supply pipeline large enough to sell them off. Most people who are selling them didn't get them legitimately. Whether or not he's porking her while his phone buzzes on his truck seat or her bedside table, this boundary he's flirting with should be one of concern. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 J Note also that the "girl" whose house he is going to has a sufficient supply that this is where he goes to buy when he needs them. Most people who get them legitimately and use them properly for their own pain don't end up with an extra supply pipeline large enough to sell them off. Most people who are selling them didn't get them legitimately. And most people like her, when arrested, are more than happy to give people like your husband up to the police in exchange for any consideration they might receive. Might your husband be making a few $$$ on the side by selling some of the extras he get from her to the guys on the job? Bad news all around... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I've looked at a couple of your other threads. Your husband sounds like a man who not only lacks bounderies, but is a rude and insensitive person. On top of that, he might be dealing with illegal drugs. This doesn't sound like a healthy situation. Take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Your husband is most likely participating in the distribution of a controlled substance, a felony in most states: "But unprescribed and unsupervised use of these controlled substances (and many others) is thought to present a danger to individuals and to society in general. So, for decades, lawmakers have stepped in to regulate the use, abuse, manufacture, and sale of illegal drugs. Though there is a longstanding federal strategy in place to combat the abuse and distribution of controlled substances, each state also has its own set of drug laws. One key difference between the two is that while the majority of federal drug convictions are obtained for trafficking, the majority of local and state arrests are made on charges of possession. Another difference between federal and state drug laws is the severity of consequences after a conviction. Federal drug charges generally carry harsher punishments and longer sentences. State arrests for simple possession (i.e. possession without intent to distribute the drug) tend to be charged as misdemeanors and usually involve probation, a short term in a local jail, or a fine -- depending on the criminal history and age of the person being charged." Were he to be arrested and charged, his attention to his phone would be the least of your problems. Why would you go along with this ??? Mr. Lucky Beat me to it. People willing to risk possible jail time for something generally don't care too much about rules of any sort, and that would include infidelity. Is he cheating? I have no clue, but it can't be ruled out as easily as some in this thread have done. Haven't read your other threads, but if he is using any hydro drug, hydrocodone for example, and he drinks? He is causing serious damage to his liver. All hydro drugs are mixed with acetaminophen. Acetaminophen should never be taken by people who drink regularly. Secondly, you mentioned his insurance wouldn't cover it. Horse poop. Hydro drugs are so cheap generically, that any person who is working could afford them, insurance or not(less than 50 cents a pill). The real reason is because his doctor won't renew the prescription. Doctors that refill prescriptions for Schedule 2 drugs come under very heavy scrutiny from the DEA. Almost no doctor will write a prescription for hydro drugs for longer than 30 days with no refills. That is how quick it takes to become addicted. It is not a drug to be used to treat chronic pain. Schedule II/IIN Controlled Substances (2/2N) Substances in this schedule have a high potential for abuse which may lead to severe psychological or physical dependence. Examples of Schedule II narcotics include: hydromorphone (Dilaudid®), methadone (Dolophine®), meperidine (Demerol®), oxycodone (OxyContin®, Percocet®), and fentanyl (Sublimaze®, Duragesic®). Other Schedule II narcotics include: morphine, opium, codeine, and hydrocodone. His pill problem may be a bigger part of your marital issues than you may realize. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Oh heavens no, this guy would NEVER cheat. This guy must own stock in a company that sells red flags. About a year ago my husband & I went out to a movie and then went to a bar to have a few drinks and play pool. Shortly after we got there a woman who we had met a few weeks prior showed up. I found out later that my husband called her to meet us there. Why he had her number is still a mystery to me... We met her at a different bar a few weeks prior. She has a few mutual friends and she is a friend of a friend. When she showed up I didn't think much of it and we proceeded to play pool and drink. Eventually I told my husband I thought it was time to go home. He said his goodbyes and then asked this other woman if she was ready to go home with us! It totally confused me. As we walked outside with her she was saying things like "I'm not trying to be the other woman, I like you the best etc etc....." I stopped her right there. I was like "wait what in the hell is going on here??!!" looking right at my husband - He didn't have any response. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 (edited) Oxy processes in the body like heroin. Have you researched to see what drugs your husband is taking and how much? The fact that he has to buy it illegally should tell you he has a severe addiction problem. Have you ever considered talking to him about his addiction? Don't laugh - since he's not taking it as prescribed - it seems he has a problem with drugs. And don't think it shouldn't be a huge concern because it's a pill - prescription drug addiction is huge in the country I live in. And your history shows that your H doesn't show you what is in his bank account. As his wife I think you need to know what his account looks like. He should be willing to show you what money he has and how he's spending what he earns. Edited January 14, 2015 by beach 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 (edited) And that her husband disrespects her and treats her like his maid. From her history he looks like he's cheating. But at this point we now also know he's a prescription drug junkie - look it up Emerald - it should be a HUGE concern for you and your family. What pills is he buying? What is YOUR boundary? When will you say enough of his crappy behavior is "enough"? Yeah but the problem is everyone seemed to be focused on the husband and how terrible he is..without even really addressing the things the OP has done. Oh heavens no, this guy would NEVER cheat. This guy must own stock in a company that sells red flags. I think they both own stock in that company, because there are red flags galore here, from both sides. To put it another way they should be glad no bulls are nearby, because with all that red both of them would of been gored by a bull's horn a long time ago. Edited January 14, 2015 by Spectre Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emerald_11 Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 Beach- my boundary is that I do not spend time alone with any members of the opposite sex. I work and go to school with both men and women but only hang out outside of those places with my female friends and sometimes my male relatives (cousins). I do have one really good male friend who I have known a very long time & never had any romantic feelings or relationship with. He is now friends with my husband also & actually talks to my husband more than me now - which is fine, I am glad they get along. Spectre- What are you talking about?? I never said anything about any co-workers.- So that is completely FALSE. Perhaps you remembered the post about a classmate who I never once spoke to or saw outside of the class. What is it you seem to think I have done? I never "chewed" my husband out for going to her house. I simply had a conversation with him about boundaries and let him know how I felt. I am glad I talk to my husband about things so he knows. I don't think he would like it if I were to go to some guys house on a regular basis like that & he did agree about that. A little backstory about the girl- he met her when she applied for a job with my husbands company. She claimed to have skills he later found out she did not. He tried to teach her to get her up to the skill level she needed to be at but it did not work out. My husbands business partner made the decision to replace her with someone who already had the required skills. It was odd to me that my husband didn't just end her employment as soon as it came to light that she exaggerated or lied about her skills. He seemed to worry about her financial well being because she had already quit her other job. I had never seen him have guilt about firing someone like that. He does occasionally have to fire people and usually he is relieved that he doesn't have to put up with their issues anymore. I honestly believe he would not have cared if she didn't have the pills he wants. I do worry about him thinking he needs hydros & have been encouraging him to go to a doctor if he is having an issue. I do wonder how much money he is spending on that habit. & do worry about his health as a result of taking them. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Beach- my boundary is that I do not spend time alone with any members of the opposite sex. I work and go to school with both men and women but only hang out outside of those places with my female friends and sometimes my male relatives (cousins). I do have one really good male friend who I have known a very long time & never had any romantic feelings or relationship with. He is now friends with my husband also & actually talks to my husband more than me now - which is fine, I am glad they get along. Spectre- What are you talking about?? I never said anything about any co-workers.- So that is completely FALSE. Perhaps you remembered the post about a classmate who I never once spoke to or saw outside of the class. What is it you seem to think I have done? I never "chewed" my husband out for going to her house. I simply had a conversation with him about boundaries and let him know how I felt. I am glad I talk to my husband about things so he knows. I don't think he would like it if I were to go to some guys house on a regular basis like that & he did agree about that. A little backstory about the girl- he met her when she applied for a job with my husbands company. She claimed to have skills he later found out she did not. He tried to teach her to get her up to the skill level she needed to be at but it did not work out. My husbands business partner made the decision to replace her with someone who already had the required skills. It was odd to me that my husband didn't just end her employment as soon as it came to light that she exaggerated or lied about her skills. He seemed to worry about her financial well being because she had already quit her other job. I had never seen him have guilt about firing someone like that. He does occasionally have to fire people and usually he is relieved that he doesn't have to put up with their issues anymore. I honestly believe he would not have cared if she didn't have the pills he wants. I do worry about him thinking he needs hydros & have been encouraging him to go to a doctor if he is having an issue. I do wonder how much money he is spending on that habit. & do worry about his health as a result of taking them. I was referring to your boundary with your husband - yet you made it about men outside your marriage. What would it take for you to leave this lying, probably cheating, disrespectful and abusive man? When is enough ENOUGH for you? Why isn't his behavior considered crossing the line for you? Link to post Share on other sites
GildedLily Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Hydrocodone from a pharmacy with no insurance will run you under 20 dollars for 30 pills, the street price is anywhere from 5-20 dollars per pill. If your husband was to see a doctor one time the visit would cost him 75-100 bucks and he would get a prescription for 30 pills at least, probably more ( if he has very bad back pain)it's just much better economically for him to do this legally, what he is doing is illegal and that makes me suspicious of his morals in general. I guess I don't completely buy his reasoning for going to this girl's house. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emerald_11 Posted January 16, 2015 Author Share Posted January 16, 2015 Hydrocodone from a pharmacy with no insurance will run you under 20 dollars for 30 pills, the street price is anywhere from 5-20 dollars per pill. If your husband was to see a doctor one time the visit would cost him 75-100 bucks and he would get a prescription for 30 pills at least, probably more ( if he has very bad back pain)it's just much better economically for him to do this legally, what he is doing is illegal and that makes me suspicious of his morals in general. I guess I don't completely buy his reasoning for going to this girl's house. Thank you- obviously I didn't buy his reasoning about why he was there either. That is why I decided it needed to stop and talked to him about it. He has not stopped calling her for pills though and now instead of going to her house he will have her meet him in parking lots or other places. He actually had her meet up one day after we had been grocery shopping with our kids in the grocery store parking lot. - It was super awkward for me because he got out of the truck & got in her car for a minute. My kids wanted to know who she was and what was going on. I told them she was a friend from work. I talked to him about that later and he sees nothing wrong with it because he never left with her and he agreed to stop going to her house so he feels like that is his only option. He sais he was mad at her for raising her price from $5 a pill to $7 a pill since she has to meet him. So apparently I am supposed to feel guilty about that and allow him to just go to her house again. I am not being controlling I just demand a certain level of respect and boundaries. Also this is not the first time he has made up different reasons/ excuses to go to other women's houses. Super frustrated~~ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Yeah but the problem is everyone seemed to be focused on the husband and how terrible he is..without even really addressing the things the OP has done. I think they both own stock in that company, because there are red flags galore here, from both sides. To put it another way they should be glad no bulls are nearby, because with all that red both of them would of been gored by a bull's horn a long time ago. Thing is, THIS thread isn't about that. It's about her hubby hanging out with a single girl while illegally buying drugs from her. Or is it always just about the woman's faults.... Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Thank you- obviously I didn't buy his reasoning about why he was there either. That is why I decided it needed to stop and talked to him about it. He has not stopped calling her for pills though and now instead of going to her house he will have her meet him in parking lots or other places. He actually had her meet up one day after we had been grocery shopping with our kids in the grocery store parking lot. - It was super awkward for me because he got out of the truck & got in her car for a minute. My kids wanted to know who she was and what was going on. I told them she was a friend from work. I talked to him about that later and he sees nothing wrong with it because he never left with her and he agreed to stop going to her house so he feels like that is his only option. He sais he was mad at her for raising her price from $5 a pill to $7 a pill since she has to meet him. So apparently I am supposed to feel guilty about that and allow him to just go to her house again. I am not being controlling I just demand a certain level of respect and boundaries. Also this is not the first time he has made up different reasons/ excuses to go to other women's houses. Super frustrated~~ And what do you plan to do about it? He's buying drugs illegally. He obviously has a drug problem. What is his plan to stop using the drugs? Do you plan to leave him or just tolerate all the crap he throws your way and complain about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Thank you- obviously I didn't buy his reasoning about why he was there either. That is why I decided it needed to stop and talked to him about it. He has not stopped calling her for pills though and now instead of going to her house he will have her meet him in parking lots or other places. He actually had her meet up one day after we had been grocery shopping with our kids in the grocery store parking lot. - It was super awkward for me because he got out of the truck & got in her car for a minute. My kids wanted to know who she was and what was going on. I told them she was a friend from work. I talked to him about that later and he sees nothing wrong with it because he never left with her and he agreed to stop going to her house so he feels like that is his only option. He sais he was mad at her for raising her price from $5 a pill to $7 a pill since she has to meet him. So apparently I am supposed to feel guilty about that and allow him to just go to her house again. I am not being controlling I just demand a certain level of respect and boundaries. Also this is not the first time he has made up different reasons/ excuses to go to other women's houses. Super frustrated~~ I'm going to say this again because it obviously did not register. Your biggest marital issue is your husbands DRUG PROBLEM. All this other stuff is a byproduct of the drugs. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 He actually had her meet up one day after we had been grocery shopping with our kids in the grocery store parking lot. - It was super awkward for me because he got out of the truck & got in her car for a minute. ...he sees nothing wrong with it because he never left with her and he agreed to stop going to her house so he feels like that is his only option. He sais he was mad at her for raising her price from $5 a pill to $7 a pill since she has to meet him. Couple of things... (1) This is not a woman passing along a few extra Vicodin left over after her recent oral surgery. This is a drug dealer with a supply chain. (2) He has no problem taking his family to meetings with his dealer. (3) He feels this is his "only option", as if having the drugs (for which he does not have a prescription) is a necessity - a given - and he is entitled to do whatever it takes to get them; So putting these together, he has no problem taking his family to meetings with his dealer to score, because he needs his illegal prescription drugs. Your biggest marital issue is your husbands DRUG PROBLEM. All this other stuff is a byproduct of the drugs. Yeah.... first things first. You've got a powder keg with a lit fuse, and you're worrying about whether the wood might be rotting out a bit around the bottom... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Deidre Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 I'm going to say this again because it obviously did not register. Your biggest marital issue is your husbands DRUG PROBLEM. All this other stuff is a byproduct of the drugs. This. OP, you should think about your own boundaries, and separate for a while to think if this is really the life you want. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 He could have been arrested...right in front of you and his kids... For illegally buying prescription medicine. Why don't you see his faults as detrimental to you, your kids and the safety of your family? He's spoiled, disrespectful, abusive and a druggie. Yet you stay with him...why? I really want to know why? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 He actually had her meet up one day after we had been grocery shopping with our kids in the grocery store parking lot. - It was super awkward for me because he got out of the truck & got in her car for a minute. ~ You don't seem to get it. That he left you and kids in the car and got out to meet his dealer should tell you something. Here's his current priorities in order: 1). Her - because she has drugs 2). You, kids and everything else Is that OK with you? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Oh heavens no, this guy would NEVER cheat. This guy must own stock in a company that sells red flags. Yes, this is the threesome her husband arranged with another woman, without consulting the OP... Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Yes, this is the threesome her husband arranged with another woman, without consulting the OP... The exact same person???? Hello, OP, he's cheating on you. Link to post Share on other sites
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