my students hate me...

[TheFinalWord]

I know the material fully. It was a silly calculation that I thought she was plugging into the calculator wrong but she wasn't. It was elementary school maths. I was tired so I made the mistake. I thought she was using parentheses wrong but she wasn't and for some odd reason I had a different answer in mind, I was just tired. It wasn't even a test question. It was a random question I made up on the spot, it was a one on one review of a test previously taken.

 

As for the handsome comment, I think that was very offensive. She told me indirectly that I was an idiot.

 

Well, everyone makes mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over it.

 

I believe you, I'm just not following the context, but I'll take your word for it. You will always have rude students. It goes with the job. There's a whole site called ratemyprofessor for students to complain if their professor doesn't give them an A or makes them actually work. You do have to have a bit of a thick skin. Literally, every class I will have one rude student. There are some bitter people in life. But it's not your job to change them or please them, only teach them. The key is if most of the students are learning, you are doing fine.

Edited January 7, 2015 by TheFinalWord

[todreaminblue]

Yes, I wrote it, and I guess I just procrastinated. I could have had it done before the semester started.

 

 

problem solving skills already going into action i am reading.....:0)...final word had some really good pointers for you...and dark moon about public speaking like a toastmasters class to give you a bit of confidence........i wish you well eddystreet...deb

[TheFinalWord]

Something about online tests not being mentioned in the syllabus I think. And also the fact that I got the syllabus to the class 2 days later than I said I would.

 

Yes, the syllabus is vital. The students will take you much more seriously if you have a solid syllabus with clear course objectives and assignment details.

 

The syllabus is basically a contract between you and the students. But now you know that, so for the next class have it ready. I also hand it out the first day and go over it with students. If it is a freshman class I may have them take a quiz on the syllabus to make sure they read it

[Eternal Sunshine]

I think you are already insecure about your looks and social skills and you are unconciously looking to validate your fears.

 

Your responses in your examples show that. You shouldn't get defensive or say that this is only "your second semester ever". You don't want their pity and you don't want them to know that they are getting an inexperienced teacher - you are giving them the perfect excuse to blame their bad grades on.

 

I found that in teaching and public speaking faking the confidence that you don't feel is cruicial. Don't let them see that they got to you. Don't over-apologize. If they start arguments tell them that you need to move on with the material and to see you after class. Ignore the rude comments and fake indifference, they will get bored quickly. Don't ever put yourself down.

 

I think that just by changing your reactions, you can change your teaching experience. Meanwhile try to work on your general lack of self-esteem.

[Taramere]

If it were me, I would start fairly blatantly playing favourites. Not in terms of the marks I gave out, but in terms of how I communicated with students. I would be warm and friendly to the polite students, and distant but civil with the rude ones. I wouldn't give any verbal response to these rude comments. I would blank the comments completely. Same would go for non verbal rude behaviour such as staring.

 

That's one of the ways I dealt with some of the nastier kids when I worked in residential care....and frankly, the way you describe some of your students they don't sound so different. I can't imagine ever talking to any lecturers in that way when I was a student.

 

These psychological warfare tactics can take a bit of time to work, and when difficult kids/students see you start to employ them they'll go all out to make them fail. You just have to be very determined in sticking with them. Blank the douches, reward the nice students with warm, positive behaviour. Eventually some of the snotty ones will start trying out polite behaviour with you to see what happens. Reward it with warmth and friendliness, but don't be surprised when they switch back just as quickly to being douches - and when they do, switch back just as swiftly to frosty distance.

 

What you don't do is, as you put it, fellate people who are being obnoxious to you. You don't have to be rude back, but certainly don't reward their behaviour. I know it sounds like game playing, and I suppose it is...but you do need some sort of strategy for dealing with these ****wits, and doing it as I suggest really takes quite minimal effort (which is all they deserve, frankly). At the moment your strategy involves self deprecation. You might as well put a massive "kick me" sign on your back.

[littleblackheart]

Do you have any kind of mentor / supervisor looking over your shoulder? It seems a little strange that you should be in charge of writing the syllabus yourself with such little experience...

 

 

In terms of discipline, I wouldn't worry about it - your first year is the hardest, getting a reputation takes a long time and it's the students' job to suss you out; when I first started, the advice I got was 'Don't smile before Christmas'!

 

 

Make your expectations clear and implement the school discipline system when they're not met. I used to put the fear of God onto the kids whether they were chewing gum, back chatting or doing worse. It was a constant battle of will where I didn't always come up on top but consistency paid off in the end.

 

 

I would treat all students in the exact same way - fairness is a teacher's best tool to gain respect. If you spot a normally disruptive person doing something right (arriving on time, having their material ready, handing in their homework on time, not chatting in class, whatever), let them know you've noticed and praise good behaviour whenever you can spot it.

 

 

My first 2 years of teaching were the worst years of my professional life at the time, but they're the ones that I remember with fondness looking back. Take heart Eddy Street, it'll get easier! Stand your ground, make sure you know your stuff inside out, be fair and consistent and the rest should fall into place. Best of luck

[dragon_fly_7]

If there is something my father taught me long ago and still reminds me to never do is to never give anyone the satisfaction of having pity towards you, not even when someone asks you ''How you doing'' and you replying with an ''Well not much, struggling but hey that's life'' when it should be an ''I'm doing good and you''?

 

That's basically low confidence and even if it was true that you're having a bad time and you're new to something, don't let the other person (in your case your students) know this.

[SJS]

Definitely include some syllabus questions on the first quiz. Every good instructor I've had does this. They also have their syllabus ready on day 1--you can do revisions later if needed.

 

What else have students said regarding your class on their instructor & course review? Have you checked websites like ratemyprofessor.com? It sounds like you need to get more of a backbone & confidence...the only class I've been in where the students talked rude like that to the teacher, they were asked to leave as they were a disruption to everyone else.

 

Every course I've taken that has to do calculations, the instructor has made a mistake that a student pointed out. Some even in every class! They have laughed it off or turned it around to make sure the class was paying attention. It happens! Like others have said, don't let a few bad ones ruin it for you. Honestly, it may partly be because its community college...I've noticed CC students typically aren't as serious as university students.

 

And a tip (from a 37 year old returning uni student) I think instructors need to demand respect...do not allow cell phone use during class, don't let students sleep, etc and put it in your syllabus.

[Eddy Street]

Do you have any kind of mentor / supervisor looking over your shoulder? It seems a little strange that you should be in charge of writing the syllabus yourself with such little

 

There is a syllabus made by the department, but it's so heavy and convoluted that I just post it and then create my own with a summary of main points to actually distribute and talk about with students. That's what I did since the first day.

[preraph]

Wow, doesn't anyone teach their kids to be respectful anymore? That girl left because she realized she'd put her foot in her mouth.

 

My only one piece of advice is a good one to remember: Don't ever say anything self-deprecating or bad about yourself, even in jest, because someone will repeat it and they may not remember you're who said it or that you were saying it in jest. Self-deprecation automatically makes you a target, too, and you did it to yourself. Being as you have control over these little bitc*es' grades, if they popped off to me I'd just raise an eyebrow and ask, "You're Angie, right?" and then keep on walking.

[BlueIris]

There’s an old saying: “When in charge, take charge.” It’s true. You're in charge. Frankly, don’t worry if anyone likes you or not. In any group, a certain % won’t, no matter what you do anyway. Your job is to teach them math. You know math and you know how to teach. You're the leader, so take charge, be an effective teacher, and you’ve succeeded.

[Eddy Street]

Wow, doesn't anyone teach their kids to be respectful anymore? That girl left because she realized she'd put her foot in her mouth.

 

My only one piece of advice is a good one to remember: Don't ever say anything self-deprecating or bad about yourself, even in jest, because someone will repeat it and they may not remember you're who said it or that you were saying it in jest. Self-deprecation automatically makes you a target, too, and you did it to yourself. Being as you have control over these little bitc*es' grades, if they popped off to me I'd just raise an eyebrow and ask, "You're Angie, right?" and then keep on walking.

 

That's the sort of thing I'm afraid of saying, it basically tells them that I will grade them differently because of their insult. They can report me for that and I could lose my job.

[Taramere]

That's the sort of thing I'm afraid of saying, it basically tells them that I will grade them differently because of their insult. They can report me for that and I could lose my job.

 

I honestly think you should maintain a polite but chilly distance from the students who behave like that. Keep a bit of a wall up, and don't get into any banter with them. I've generally found that if somebody is being a bit of a **** to me, switching off the warmth is fairly effective....especially if you're normally quite a friendly person.

 

And if it isn't effective, it doesn't really matter - because you're still doing the correct thing. As a lecturer it's best to keep a bit of distance between yourself and all your students, but particularly the ones who are out to cause trouble for you. It's not healthy for you or your job to have any unnecessary dealings or chat with them.

 

You'll also take a lot of pressure off yourself by resolving to be on generally civil terms - warm with some, frostier with others who show you bad manners - but not on particularly friendly terms with any of them. It's really not that difficult to create that distance between yourself and others, and it's a useful thing to do in the kind of situation you're in.

[preraph]

You can't lose your job for knowing a student's name or asking it.

[Mandy26]

You need to be confident and truly be confident. Remember we cannot control others behaviours but we can certainly chose how we react. Try not to personalize what these individuals say, that is a reflection of their character simply put. You define who you are but never make any self defeating thoughts of yourself...because when you do you become what you think. I agree with a previous post that you are destined for more...keep up the witty remarks...

[regine_phalange]

If there's a smartass in the class then you could maybe make them your "assistant" for the day? Have them solve math exercises on the blackboard or something Just get to know their names beforehand, so you can call their name when you need. If you keep picking the "worst" students, in time they will keep quiet because they'll want to avoid the chore.

[DivorcedDad123]

My gf has been a HS teacher for 20 years and she has taught community college night courses for a number of years also.

She told me that students today are alot more spoiled,disrespectful,egotistical,etc.,, than they were just a few years ago.

It's not just you!

She also has told me that it varies from class to class,but usually one class tends to have a majority of bad apples for some reason.

The students aren't your friends,or your enemies. You're there to teach and it's their place to learn. Nothing more.

It'll get easier the longer you do it. She only has to update syllabus' now days. She uses the same material over the years with slight changes to update.

You have to cover your a$$ though. Constantly. Nothing innappropriate said or done. You always need to be able to have your class back up that you did nothing wrong if you're called out on something.

She still goes through this and it's something that comes with the territory. She's had students removed from her class that constantly disrupt others ability to learn,and hers to teach.

[Bellaisa]

Just from reading this, I like you.

 

Other people will always use you to make themselves look better. I know that because it happens to me and everyone else I know on a daily basis.

 

The important thing to remember is that only people with low self-confidence or other issues resort to trying to make others feel bad for their own gain. You just happen to be in a position where you are an easy target for those people.

 

It's easier said than done, but keeping your head high around these people is the best thing you can do for your happiness and their personal development.

[Sugarkane]

My mother in law is a high school teacher and has to teach some really spoilt princesses. It makes me angry when they complain eg just because some don't like her- that's not what you're there for. Compared to my high school experience where they did nothing about the bullying I experienced and screwed me over with very hard subjects in VCE (long story).