Spectre Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 (edited) You are married, why do you have any attractive to the type of scum who would get with a married woman? Do you enjoy scumbags? What did your husband say when you told him you are interested in your dentist? Obviously you told him, right? Some people are born flirts, they flirt with everyone If a person flirts with everyone and literally can't stop themselves from flirting then to me they have mental issues. If a person can't turn off their flirting when in a relationship to me that is a red flag. Who wants to be with someone who has such low self control? I'm a flirty girl & it can be a kick to be flirted with by the professionals in your life doctor, dentist, lawyer whatever. It is an ego boost when these accomplished men smile at you. Which is all fine if you are single. If you get a kick out of flirting with other dudes while in a relationship then that is a red flag. If a girl can't stop herself from flirting with other dudes it would make me wonder what other activities with other men she can't stop herself from doing. But that is just me, I know some don't have a problem with flirts, but I find it utterly disrespectful to do if you are in a serious relationship. Basically if you are acting a certain way with another man and if your boyfriend/husband was in the same room and you wouldn't still act that sort of way? Then that probably tells you what you are doing is wrong. Now I have no idea if you specifically are in a relationship, but the OP is. Edited January 7, 2015 by Spectre Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 If I flirt, it's done as a joke with a coworker or someone that has known me for a long time and would know I was kidding. I'm a big believer in professionalism and I wouldn't expect anything less from any doctor, dentist, etc. This guy should be reported! And like everyone said, find a new dentist. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mimi06 Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 Hello, my dentist and I are not playing anymore. He suddenly turned as cold as an iceberg. What a strange man ! It's probably better that way. I was just wondering : do men need to have guts to start an affair ? Link to post Share on other sites
persevere Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 This is a minefield. Stay away. You have too much to lose. Plus you would be affecting two other people. His wife. Your husband. Stay faithful. It's the moral thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 my dentist and I are not playing anymore. Good. He suddenly turned as cold as an iceberg. What a strange man ! Not strange. Maybe he realized his actions were hurting his marriage. I was just wondering : do men need to have guts to start an affair ? Personally, I think men who have affairs have No Guts: No Backbone. It is the spineless, thoughtless people (not just men!) who cheat, lie, and have affairs. I'm curious why you would equate that sort of action to having "guts" as though it is a sign of strength versus weakness? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
persevere Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Hello, my dentist and I are not playing anymore. He suddenly turned as cold as an iceberg. What a strange man ! It's probably better that way. I was just wondering : do men need to have guts to start an affair ? He just came to terms and realized what he was doing. It could ruin his practice, his marriage and his life. Do men need guts to start an affair? No. They need stupidity. Cheating on ones significant other is not brave. It is spineless and immoral. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 No you guys guessed wrong, someone or others had reported his conduct to the Dental Association and is under investigation. His license to practice dentistry is on the line and has to be on his best behavior. Don't kid yourself that the OP was the only one he was doing this to. Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 This thread: A married woman asking why his married dentist didn't have the guts to start an affair with her (which she wanted) and is actually confused by it. And thinks it's like a very normal dating problem. I mean, Really? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 This thread: A married woman asking why his married dentist didn't have the guts to start an affair with her (which she wanted) and is actually confused by it. And thinks it's like a very normal dating problem. I mean, Really? Maybe she's not used to a married man not willing to sleep with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Hello, my dentist and I are not playing anymore. He suddenly turned as cold as an iceberg. What a strange man ! It's probably better that way. I was just wondering : do men need to have guts to start an affair ? Maybe he just realised his friendly manner was being picked up wrongly by you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mimi06 Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 Good. Not strange. Maybe he realized his actions were hurting his marriage. Personally, I think men who have affairs have No Guts: No Backbone. It is the spineless, thoughtless people (not just men!) who cheat, lie, and have affairs. I'm curious why you would equate that sort of action to having "guts" as though it is a sign of strength versus weakness? I didn't mean he has no guts because he doesn't cheat. I was just trying to figure out why his behaviour had changed and I have considered many options, of which guts. Link to post Share on other sites
starmar Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Some people cheat for validation, to show to themselves that the "still got it" really it is a waste of time, and the real question is why are you even entertaining this thought? what do you think the outcome will be? Hint: Don't bet on being the exception, bet on the rule. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mimi06 Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 Some people cheat for validation, to show to themselves that the "still got it" really it is a waste of time, and the real question is why are you even entertaining this thought? what do you think the outcome will be? Hint: Don't bet on being the exception, bet on the rule. No, no. We are not going to have an affair. Thanks to him not me, I fear. But I can still analyze the situation, just because it's part of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 No, no. We are not going to have an affair. Thanks to him not me, I fear. But I can still analyze the situation, just because it's part of my life. How does your husband feel about the fact that the only reason an affair will not happen is because of this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Thank you all for your replies. - Elaine567 : I don't think he has friendly bedside manner, I would call him crude' actually. Here are some examples of innuendos. Once, he was about to do my root canal when I said something like "I don't want to do that now" and he replied "we can do something else if you want" with a naughty grin. When I don't open my mouth enough he says "can't you open wider ? You worry me. Don't tell me that"... and he leaves the words hanging. Last week, he was walking behind me and he asked my weight and the size of my pants with his lustful look. At last, I would like to specify that he seems to show interest when I flirt back . He becomes bolder in his touches and build a kind of intimacy between us. When I say that nothing happens, I mean no concrete actions (ask for my number, date...). Thank you for reading me. My goodness this is nothing and you're making a big deal of it. Are you missing attention from your husband? Why would you want a MM to ask you for your number when you are a married woman? Ask your husband if he thinks this is flirting. Link to post Share on other sites
BeatsByDirk Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 (edited) Ok here's the deal.(in my opinion) He's very interested but he's probably interested in about 4-6 women all the time and I'm sure some come and go and some are more constant but at anytime he has a couple different girls he has crushes on and flirts with. Part two. I think you said he is married. He doesn't want to lose his wife and kids, he likes being married but loves the extra attention. Sooooo. He will never make the first move, he can manipulate you into making the first move. You just got a taste of the hot and cold, it's a common technique to make you think you did something wrong, ask what/why, he explains forgives and now he is in a position of power= more attractive! To ensure he doesn't get busted, to ensure he continues to look like the good guy he has to make you have to have him. In his mind it alleviates guilt because he can reason it as just giving you what you want and he didn't do anything wrong other than be friendly, you pursued him. It also helps with his dynamic with you if you pursue. Now you don't see him as a guy trying to break up your marriage and you don't think of him as a dirt ball who wants you at the cost of his family and career. It makes you into the bad girl, who goes after what she wants, probably totally opposite of the person you are in your public/home life. Here you have a perfectly hot and steamy affair bubble that feeds a bunch of misconceptions, deception and manipulation. You will have to make a move but be warned he knows exactly what he's doing and he will make the next few years of your life crazy, I feel like you're already caught in the web Edited February 8, 2015 by BeatsByDirk Link to post Share on other sites
Author mimi06 Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 My goodness this is nothing and you're making a big deal of it. Are you missing attention from your husband? Why would you want a MM to ask you for your number when you are a married woman? Ask your husband if he thinks this is flirting. I have friends and coworkers who are big flirts but I know there is nothing underlying. But this man always seems to wait something from me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mimi06 Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 Ok here's the deal.(in my opinion) He's very interested but he's probably interested in about 4-6 women all the time and I'm sure some come and go and some are more constant but at anytime he has a couple different girls he has crushes on and flirts with. Part two. I think you said he is married. He doesn't want to lose his wife and kids, he likes being married but loves the extra attention. Sooooo. He will never make the first move, he can manipulate you into making the first move. You just got a taste of the hot and cold, it's a common technique to make you think you did something wrong, ask what/why, he explains forgives and now he is in a position of power= more attractive! To ensure he doesn't get busted, to ensure he continues to look like the good guy he has to make you have to have him. In his mind it alleviates guilt because he can reason it as just giving you what you want and he didn't do anything wrong other than be friendly, you pursued him. It also helps with his dynamic with you if you pursue. Now you don't see him as a guy trying to break up your marriage and you don't think of him as a dirt ball who wants you at the cost of his family and career. It makes you into the bad girl, who goes after what she wants, probably totally opposite of the person you are in your public/home life. Here you have a perfectly hot and steamy affair bubble that feeds a bunch of misconceptions, deception and manipulation. You will have to make a move but be warned he knows exactly what he's doing and he will make the next few years of your life crazy, I feel like you're already caught in the web I share your opinion as I have often felt manipulated. This game is really machiavellian ! It's too bad my cares are done, it could have been instructive to play him at his own game. But I am getting a new dentist. It's better for everybody. Thank you everybody for giving your point of view. Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 You also might want to get some IC to figure out why you were so disappointed another man would not move innto an affair with you . Seems like that is what you were hoping for so you may have some problems on the horizon if you do not figure that one out. If you are happily married the flirting should not have been reciprocated especially if it appeared serious. It seems like you pride was hurt that he did not try to sleep with you. The next OM might take you up on it. You need to figure out if that is what you are looking for before it "just happens" Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Still wondering what your husband thinks about all this. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 This thread: A married woman asking why his married dentist didn't have the guts to start an affair with her (which she wanted) and is actually confused by it. And thinks it's like a very normal dating problem. I mean, Really? thanks for the summary because I really didn't want to read through 3 pages. Link to post Share on other sites
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