OLD, girls & hook ups

[lauren13]

 

Yet with a non 'extremely hot' guy you'd make him jump through hoops and pay for a dozen dinners before any sexual activity right?

 

That there is the single reason why dating is the sh#t fight it is today.

 

Not true - my point was that I'd sleep with someone who I know there won't be any more dates. If this "extremely hot" guy had an interesting/great personality and I'd see potential - I wouldn't sleep with him on a 1st/2nd date.

 

And no, I'm not making anyone pay dozen dinners or jump through any hoops - I like to pay for my own part or we'd rotate who's paying. Dating should be fun and if it isn't, then it's prob not going anywhere.

[smg15]

I don't have to be naked with her by the end of date 3 but I do expect one of the things below to happen

 

1. Her offering to pay for dinner before the 3rd date

 

2. we spending a evening together and kissing

[Omei]

If a guy wanted or suggested to hook up on the second date I prob wouldnt speak to him again

[candie13]

enjoy while it lasts, man. OLD is a very peculiar beast, when it's raining, it's pouring... but watch out for that proverbial draught period .

 

OLD is like everyday life: it is what you make of it. if it's sex you're looking for, it's sex you're gonna get. If it's something else.... you'll get something else. But usually, no matter what it is that you are looking for, you will struggle a bit to get it consistently. Most people do.

 

cheers

[hotpotato]

If you dont want something meaningful, good luck on old.

From now on I automatically X any man who brings up sex quickly . Im over all of that.

 

I didnt drive the hookups. My sin was believing it when guys said "Lets watch a movie/cuddle/let me cook for you at my place." Id go there, only want to watch a move or cuddle, and he would be upset or confused. Im a say what I mean kinda person. If I say I want to cuddle or watch a movie, thats what I mean.

 

 

Im a girl, and I dont think its a red flag if a guy is not trying to bed me after 2 or 3 dates. :/

[smg15]

If you dont want something meaningful, good luck on old.

From now on I automatically X any man who brings up sex quickly . Im over all of that.

 

I didnt drive the hookups. My sin was believing it when guys said "Lets watch a movie/cuddle/let me cook for you at my place." Id go there, only want to watch a move or cuddle, and he would be upset or confused. Im a say what I mean kinda person. If I say I want to cuddle or watch a movie, thats what I mean.

 

 

Im a girl, and I dont think its a red flag if a guy is not trying to bed me after 2 or 3 dates. :/

 

I tried to have this type of evening with a woman early this year and she wanted to have sex

 

1. Watching the Office DVD

2. Cuddling

3. Kissing

4. Ordering Seafood

 

 

But she wanted to have sex and the evening ended early

[LostTokyo]

I recently moved to Tokyo and have done the OLD thing as well. Out of the seven girls I've met, three got physical on the first or second date. One got physical on the third date, and two I felt I didn't match with very well so the first date was the last date, and one was looking for a no-strings hookup but I denied her advances.

 

I don't particularly mind getting physical quickly as long as the purpose is clear. I'm looking for a person I have good chemistry with outside the bedroom while at the same time having good chemistry in the bedroom. So far that seems exceedingly rare, but in my admittedly limited experience I can't settle for one or the other. It just doesn't work for me, and I don't think it works for my partner either. In my one long-term relationship before moving abroad I settled for mediocre chemistry in both just because it was comfortable. I stayed in that relationship much longer than I should have.

 

Now here, with the four women I have been involved with, they have all wanted more than just a hookup. The first woman ended it once our chemistry outside the bedroom started to slide. I'm glad she did because at the time I hadn't noticed it. The second one I ended because even though we had good sexual chemistry we really didn't have much chemistry outside the bedroom.

 

The last two are where I am stuck now. One wanted a serious relationship and we've been on a few dates but aren't exclusive. We have good chemistry, but she has some quirks I haven't figured out. We got physical on the third date and the sexual chemistry was so-so. The other got physical right off the bat, but clearly wanted something more afterward. Our sexual chemistry was a perfect match and I really want to see how our outside-the-bedroom chemistry is, but she may have given up on me already.

 

So, to answer your question, I think this is a common thing these days in more liberal communities, and I tend to do it myself--within limitations.

Edited December 29, 2014 by LostTokyo