Lion Heart Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I'm in the dark tunnel. It's 5 weeks today since D Day for me. I'm shattered. I haven't been able to condense my experience into a coherent thread. I'm obsessed with reading LS. I found it 3 weeks ago when I searched Revenge Affairs. No I didn't but he** I wanted to!! Grrrr I've been comforted and confronted by what I read but I know I NEED that. I'm reading logical advice and giving support from my life experiences but still looking at my own situation? My own future? A marriage infused with WHs lies, deception, cheating? Woah! Overload! To actually LOOK at my own situation? Far too hard. My WH is back again. Packed and left on D Day. Came back the next morning to pick up his car. He couldn't drive it anywhere but he fixed it and still stayed because I asked him to stay and "fix this". He Has almost left several times. 8 days ago it came to a major head with me going absolutely ballistic! I gave up alcohol the next day. Promised myself abstinence and RESPECT. I've been white knuckling it without alcohol. No sleep of any length. Feeling it worse. I want to see the light anywhere! The tunnel of obligation to my 3 children here (S12, S12 & D9) and my 3 others outside is OVERWHELMING. Whether he stays or leaves. It's dark. Logically & rationally I know "it gets better with time". What time? It was Ground Hog Day for 32 days. Time repeats itself. The pain never really ends. I've made plans. The only plans with a solid foundation. Just me. Raising 3 teenagers at once. Trying to live up to the LS name I chose Lion Heart Link to post Share on other sites
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